


Blossom

by Lady_Elwing



Category: Charloe - Fandom, Revolution (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, From darkness to light, Healing, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:09:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 78,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14629914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Elwing/pseuds/Lady_Elwing
Summary: Most of the patriots have been dealt with.Somehow, Bass and the Matheson have made their way back to Willoughby and are working for Texas. While Miles is busy with Rachel, both Charlie and Bass feel out of place in this too normal town.They are both having a hard time adjusting to a normal life. And they are the only one who can help each other. But, the question is : do they want to be helped? Are they ready to let the other one in? Who do you turn to when the only person that can understand you is the one who is responsible for all you went through?Are they even friend?And if they do manage to break through their own walls, how will they ever deal with the reaction of Charlie's families and those around them?Add to the mix a good pinch of trouble coming to Willoughby in the most inopportun time and the good folks of this quiet town dealing with one of their own, Charlie, getting involved with the infamous Sebastian Monroe, and you have a story full of upheavals, electricity and romance.





	1. No grave for the ghost

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how this story came to be. I just wrote and the writing took over.
> 
> It's truly a wild ride. I hope you will enjoy it. I hope I don't stray into the "out of character" side of it. And I hope it's that good mix of romance and grit that fits Charloe.
> 
> Let me know what you think.

Another twist, and Charlie’s seventh pencil was perfectly sharpened. She sighed loudly. Her gaze were drawn to the tree branches swaying gently in the wind.

Aaron had used some very big words to explain that since the bombs had been launched something had happened to the weather. She could only agree : this wasn’t the Texas she had heard about. She looked at the mechanical watch on the wall, time would just not move. Aaron had been a great teacher, never telling on her when she cut class or didn’t show up for a few days. He wouldn’t say a word.

Maybe she could enroll his help to escape from her duties at the Willoughby police station? No, Aaron was just the maire. It was Blanchard who kept them all under his fist.

Growing up, the only structure she had been provided with were meal time “we eat our meals like civilized people” thanks to Maggie, and the joys of school with Aaron. But Aaron was always distracted by one thing or the other, and quite often, the children would end up wandering off. And of course, duties such as hunting were always a priority.

Charlie yawned again looking at the pile of documents on her desk. Why on earth had she agreed to become the coordinator between Texas and their team? Both Miles and Bass had more experience with paperwork, that would explain why they had steered clear of this.

She would have prefered to be on the field, just like them. There was no one else to blame but her mother.

Charlie looked out of the window again, it was the perfect time to set out for a hunting trip. Time flowed in a different way when you were out in the wild, you didn’t have to look at a winding watch. All you had to do, is look up and smell. The light and the taste of the air always told you what time it was and if rain was on the way. Here, nothing could warrant what would happen next.

The door slammed open.

“No! That’s what you do. You! Not me. I’m so.. Fuck, Miles. You’re like my jailer or whatever” And with his angry rant, came in the morning air. It was cool and refreshing. Charlie couldn’t look away.

“Fuck you.” Miles’ low rumble was enough to let everyone know he was in no mood to argue. He never was. His word was supposed to be the law, and he had no desire to discuss any of his decisions. Most of the time, it didn’t bother Charlie. He was after all, her uncle. But Bass… On the other hand, hated it. And questioned him every step of the way. Sometimes she wondered how they even manage to build a country and run a government. No wonder they had both gotten out of it with scars and an angry bite.

Miles landed on the old couch, in the corner that they called the breakroom. It also served as Bass’ bed many nights. Ever since Connor had left, he had become less and less inclined to spend time in that two room hovel he called home. She didn’t blame him. Sometimes, she wished there was another couch where she could sleep when she was tired of seeing her mother and Miles playing house. There was Aaron’s porch or his sitting room, when he forgot to lock his door.

Miles and Bass exchanged a few more angry words. They would be yelling if they were outside but here, time and time again Charlie had told them she would leave if they kept on screaming like toddlers.

Bass paced around the small room, his anger was like a heat wave radiating into the room. Charlie was used to dealing with angry people, but Bass’ anger was something else, it always awakened something else in her. It made her vision grow clearer but her thoughts would jumble.

She kept her gaze lowered on the document she had been feigning to read. After a few minutes, Miles sighed loudly, got up and left.

A messenger came in with word from Austin. Charlie thanked him and perused the message. Nothing new, a troop of patriots had been seen nearby. They will need to send someone to check it out. And of course, as usual there was a request that once more the population of Willoughby should be questioned to ascertain whether the patriots still had a mole here. Charlie could already hear her grandfather complaining, her mother yelling, Miles shrugging, and Bass and her trying to remind them all these orders came from above. Same story.

Her attention was caught by a small bird perched on a branch outside. She had chosen to place her desk in front of the window because it was the only way she could survive here for so long. She heard Bass pulling his chair and sitting down, his elbows knocking on his wooden desk. She turned her head to peek : his head was in his hands.

They had often spent hours in this office, without sharing a word. But sometimes, very rarely, he would speak. He was always the one sharing his thoughts. She wouldn’t, couldn’t say so many things to him. And yet, she was filled with a longing to say them. Instead, she let him speak.

“What did he do?” There was only silence. He didn’t even move. She was about to repeat her question but he straightened up and spoke again.

“Y’know… Just being Miles. Son of a bitch Miles.”

“We need to check the southern ridge.” The trees were moving with the wind, she could almost smell their freshness. It would be getting cooler very soon, “I can go with you.”

“ Blanchard’s orders ?” His tone had mellowed down and she couldn’t look away from his blue eyes. There was always something so compelling in them. At first, she had thought it was because of his presidential persona, later because of the anger between them… Now? Now she had no idea how they could stare at each other for what felt like hours. Nor could she make sense of the conversation they could have without even speaking a word.

“Yeah. I’m sure it’s nothing.” She looked away into the open window. She needed to go out. Staying locked up in this damn office wasn’t good for her. She could literally feel the walls draining the life out of her. She missed sleeping out in the wildness and walking. But she didn’t miss the killing, nor the horror that the road brought to her life.

“I don’t know how you can stand sitting around for hours.” His voice was coming from right behind her. She could literally feel the heat radiating from his body. It was as if the back of her chair had disappeared, and she could lean back into him.

“I can’t.” She jumped out of her chair, “that’s why I’m coming.” And she escaped his hovering presence, to step to the coat hanger.

“Oh.. I thought it was because of the company.” There was a hint of humor in his voice but she could swear she heard something else.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” She snapped. It was easier this way, “I need to get my gear. Meet you in five?”

And she left before she could once more be drawn into his eyes. She had no idea why she was having those feelings. It was the boredom of this new sedate life. It was because of those walls closing in, drying up her spirit. She nodded to the woman selling buns from her cart. They were always smiling to her. She was the granddaughter of Gene Porter. They respected their family. Miles had blended in too, it was nothing new for them. According to the rumor mill, this was not the first inappropriate man her mother had brought home.

Bass.. Well Bass was still General Sebastian Monroe. After his fake execution and his return to the living, most of the good people of Willoughby pretended that he didn’t exist. Those who chose not to ignore him, first tried to get him thrown out with a well worded petition, later they would just cross the street or leave the bar when he was in front of them. He was the outcast like he should be. She didn’t feel bad for him… At all.

 

She stopped at the house. Thankfully, nobody was home. It would be better to leave a note at the office. She didn’t want to talk, nor argue.. Nor explain why she’d rather go into the wild with Monroe the murderer instead of hanging around in this proper town with her proper family.

She stopped at the kitchen to pick up a few pieces of dried meat, nuts and bread. She looked out to check if her grandfather or mother were around. Miles won’t say a word but they would argue. The truth was, this nice little village filled with simple folks drove her mad. Sure they had seen some dark things happening but they didn’t sport any scar or missing limbs. They looked fine and acted as if the world was still a normal, warm and cosy place. It made her want to yell really loud, and hit something.

No need to lock the door, nobody bothered here. And nobody bothered to look her in the eyes when they smiled at her and shared niceties. Miles never looked at anyone except Rachel. She felt like she had lost her friend and relative, the moment they had found her mother. Everyone was nice, too sweet almost acidic. But Bass.. And yes, she called him Bass now, Bass always looked her in the eyes. Almost as if he was looking for an answer to his question.

 

He was waiting for her outside, with a cigarette between his lips. They walked in silence, their bodies guiding them to the location they needed to check. It was no new thing. Texas scouts always spotted something and they were most of the time wrong. Charlie suspected it was because Blanchard didn’t want to use the expertise of both ex generals, but he also didn’t dare give them too much power. Better to be forgotten in a lost village. Miles didn’t mind. Bass never said a word.

The sun had begun its descent. Charlie could hear the hustle and bustle of the animal kingdom as it prepared for the incoming darkness. Strange how life on the road was comforting, while her new mundane life made her wake up with a pounding heart.

They set up camp as the darkness fell. It would be better to have daylight on their side to check the location. As Charlie unfolded the items she had brought and Bass unrolled his sleeping mat, she realized she had forgotten to leave a note.

“Did you leave a note for Miles?”

“No particularly in the mood…”

“I didn’t tell anyone either.” For a split second she felt elated, something between excitement and dread. Excitement because it made her feel so free to have nobody knowing her whereabouts. She could leave and never come back. And dread because they were going to kill her when she got back. She couldn’t help but laugh. It made the tension drain out of her body and made her feel lighter than she ever felt as an adult.

“They are going to think we eloped.” The words came out of her mouth without much thought, making her double up with laughter. Ridiculous, Charlie Matheson running away with Sebastian Monroe. Hardcore enemies turned lovers. She peered at him to see how he was taking her joke but he wasn’t moving. The fire gave barely enough light for her to decipher his face but his voice was enough to let her know his feelings :

“Glad to make someone laugh. I’m already everyone’s worst nightmare.. At least I’m making someone laugh.”

Maybe it was the familiar setting of a camp, or her lack of real communication with people but she could feel her body relax as she stretched her legs in front of her.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself Monroe.” The words were as natural as stretching her arms over he head. A movement, words, that just sprung out of the tiredness she had been carrying for far too long. She bit her lip, her hands going to brush the hair away from her face. And then, she heard him laugh too. There was a time he would have reminded her she had no right to talk to him this way, he was Sebastian Monroe.

“You’re saying that but wait until the whole town is ignoring you or running away from you. While Miles.. Oh everyone loves the Butcher of Baltimore.” She could feel his gaze on her face as if this time he was the one who was unsure of the reaction his words would produce.

“You’d be surprised…” She didn’t want to tell him about how lonely she felt here, how insignificant. How this conversation was the first real conversation she had in weeks. She heard him shuffle, and then unscrewing the cap of his canteen.

“Do tell, Charlotte. I thought everyone loved the Mathesons here…”

“Oh they do. Of course they do. I just wish I were in a place where nobody knew my name.”

“You and I both…” His voice was soft now, almost like the breeze fluttering the leaves. They were silent again and neither of them said anything else until it was time to pick who would keep first watch.

 

When she woke up, she had somehow rolled in her sleep and was nestled against him. She peered through her hair : he was still asleep and it was dawn. He hadn’t woken her up for her turn. She didn’t dare move. What if he woke up? Then what? Would they acknowledge they had slept through the night, nestled against each other. She could close her eyes and let her head fall back against his back, his strong back. She had forgotten how it felt to sleep next to each other. Last time? Oh… Truth was, she had never slept so close to anyone other than family. There was never any time for a real good old fashioned romance.

She heard the a shuffle in the bush in front of her. And out of the greenery, came a wolf. It seemed that nature had her own thought on the matter. She felt Monroe shuffling, his hands coming to his face. She took hold of his right wrist and whispered,

“Don’t move.” He grumbled something but she whispered again,”don’t fucking move.” The wolf sniffed the ground. Of course, he could see them. Their gaze met for a brief second and it was gone.

“It was a wolf. He’s gone now.” She realized that she still had his wrist in her hand. He wasn’t moving.

“Fuck. I f… I fell asleep. Fuck what happened.” He was stirring, she let go of his hand and pulled away.

“You’re getting old, that’s what happened.” She scampered back to her initial sleeping spot. It was still a mystery how she had ended up spooning Monroe. She found her canteen and drank all the water she had. There was river nearby, it will have to do for her basic needs.

She left a half asleep Monroe to wash away the night. Still unsure how she felt about it. It was nothing. Had it been Aaron, they would have laughed it off. Miles? Family. Even one of her former lovers, Jason or Connor… But Monroe… Bass, she reminded herself. Bass was someone she couldn’t categorize in her life. He used the be the reason why she was still alive : the one to loathe. This rage gave her life. And then, he saved her life, time after time. And now… Now there was a truce of some sort. A friendship.

Friends didn’t stare into friends eyes when they were in a bar, while one of them was trying to find a bedmate. Friends didn’t think about friends when they were peeling off their clothes to wash off the night or the day.

They were not friends.

 

They found the Patriot camp one hour later. For once, the reports had been right… Only if three confused teenagers could be called a troop. Charlie and Bass observed them from afar. They were lying on their stomach, in the grass, side by side.

“They are from the training camps.” It was matter of fact. They both knew what they were seeing. “Let’s keep a watch. Don’t think any superior officers is going to collect them. After sundown…”

After sundown, they would kill those teenagers. Charlie didn’t breathe a word. She looked at the youths just sitting there. They looked like lifeless mechanical dolls. They barely moved. They were not even eating. In another lifetime, last year, she would have fought him over this. But she could still smell her own blood and that of Jason. She could still feel him trying to kill her. They were already dead.

There wasn’t much to watch, the boys and girls were just sitting. Sometimes one of them would stand up, look around as if they were looking for someone and sit down again. As the hours grew, Charlie could feel her stomach heaving. She didn’t know if it was because of the sight in front of her or because she was lying on it. She tentatively rolled to her side and looked at their target again : neither of them had moved.

“Maybe we don’t have to wait till sundown. They really are..” Dead, she wanted to say but something was keeping the word from spilling out of her throat. Monroe rolled to his side too, facing her. He was nodding, his eyes on her face.

“I would have thought…” He looked away. He sat up, preparing his gear.

“Ready?” His voice was now devoid of any emotion, his face drawn. General Monroe was ready to do the dirty work he had often sent others to do. She nodded, she was ready too.

There was always something strange at work when she was fighting alongside Bass. It was like they had perfectly choreographed each movement. It was over before she had time to even look around. All the patriot recruits were dead. She finished off a girl with pale blue eyes. She was grunting a blood poured from her throat. For a split second Charlie had the feeling she was merely finishing off an animal caught in a hunting trip. But as she closed the girl’s eyes, she could see that it had been once a living person. Bile rose to her throat. Not, she wasn’t going to throw up. This wasn’t her first kill.

“Should… Should we bury them?” She hated the quiver in her voice. She hated her unsteady feet. Monroe was standing behind her now,

“Charlotte…”

“We should bury them.” She looked around. There were no spades around, nor had she brought one along. Her heartbeat quickened, she looked around again. Her head was spinning. Why didn’t she think about bringing a spade, she walked back to the spot she had left her bag. But of course, there were no spades there. Her hands were sticky. She couldn’t breathe; couldn’t think. She needed a spade.

“Charlotte.” He was here again, she shrugged him off. But as she tried to walk past him, she staggered. He was holding her steady, his arm were wrapped around her, her face buried in his chest.

She had just left him there. Jason. No burial for lieutenant Neville. She tried to push Monroe away but she was so tired. Tears were coursing on her cheeks, they tasted bitter. A sound came out of her mouth. Something like the girl she had killed. There was no word.

He was like a tree, solid and grounded. It didn’t matter if in the past he had caused her so much grief. It didn’t matter at all. He was here.

He was speaking to her but she couldn’t make sense of the word. She could only hear the tone of his voice, calm and soothing like a river. Her arms went around his waist, clasping him.

When the tears stopped bubbling out of her, her senses came back. And she realized what was happening. Monroe, Sebastian Monroe, was holding her and whispering her name over and over again. His hand was drawing circles on her back. She didn’t want to move but she had to. She let go of him, instantly regretting it, and stepped back. His eyes were in hers, still holding her steady but he had let her go.

“I’m sorry.. I just..” She shoved her hands in her jeans pockets, “I never.. It doesn't matter. What should we do with them?”

“Didn’t bring anything to bury them. We could…” He looked around and took a few steps away from her. He picked up a rock. “Let’s just build them a cairn… Like in the olden days.”

She nodded. She had read about them. Usually, a fire would do the trick but she was relieved that Bass wasn’t even mentioning it. It was better than leaving them here to be gorged on by the wild beasts. Maybe her wolf had followed them here and was just waiting to chase off the carrions, to have his very own feast.

 

It was night when they were done. Her whole body was aching but she didn’t feel sick anymore, although she reeked of death.

 

They walked in silence. Charlie was in a daze. She was exhausted beyond words but thinking about stopping and setting up camp was more exhausting. As if he were reading her thoughts, Monroe stopped walking.

“Let’s stop here for the night…”

She nodded. He dropped his bag and scampered to pick up some wood. She thought about the recruits they had just killed. She just stood there looking at Monroe lighting a fire. Maybe she had also been brainwashed by the patriots. Did it matter which side you stood on? A soldier is always disposable. Empty.

“Charlotte!” His voice broke her string of thoughts. His hands were gentle as he led her to the fire and pulled her to the ground. They sat down, leg against leg. He was warm and the night was so cold. She crept closer to him. But the thoughts wouldn’t leave her alone. Back in her office, she had been craving action. It had left her unsettled. Like a tree struck by lightning. Mushrooms and moss grew on it, animals burrowed them in the long winter months but it was nothing but a dead trunk. She shouldn’t have come. Bass was handing her his canteen :

“Drink.” She complied. A sip was enough, she handed him the canteen back.

“I know I’m the last person you want to talk to… About stuff like this. But Miles.. He’s gone. And Rachel is worse than a wall.” He trailed off, his iron gaze hooked in hers. She didn’t want to look away.

“And I don’t think folks here would ever understand what happened. Hell, I don’t think they even understood what happened to their town and kids,“ he continued.

“And you would? Of course you would,” Her head was no longer spinning, all she could feel was her face heating up and her voice tearing through her throat, “You and your conscription boats. Yeah. I saw that.. Kids being forced to join your fucking militia.”

She had missed this feeling… She had missed hating him. It always made everything easier.

“Charlie.. “ He never called her Charlie except in instances such as this. She had no idea why,”stop deflecting. Yes, I’m a fucking monster. Yeah, I’m your monster. Water under the bridges, you told me.” She could taste the bitterness of his words, it gave her more sustenance than the water he had offered her earlier, “stop pretending that this about you and me. It’s about him. Neville Jr… Ja..” She knew what would come next. She didn’t want to hear his name from those lips. She was still wired up from earlier. She lunged at him, her hands going to his throat. She didn’t care if they tumbled into the fire. It would be a good riddance. He rolled them into the night, into the cold earth. His arms unfolding her, pinning her. Their faces were inches apart.

And he kissed her. It was rough and soft at the same time. His lips claiming hers, his body hard against hers. Her fingers were digging into his arms but she didn’t want to kill him anymore. She wanted to forget.

But as soon as the kiss started, he pulled away but not quite. His fingers grasped her hands as he led her back to the fire. She sat down, pulling her hand away. She wanted him gone, but instead he sat even closer to hear. She was shivering but she couldn’t stand the heat from his body.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I could return the question, Charlotte.” Of course he could, hadn’t she been ready to give into the lust that she had have for him ever since she had seen him? Somehow, the kiss had drained out the rage she had felt when she had lunged at him.

“Jason. You never spoke of him. Miles was worried.. Well at least he was before Rachel took over.”  
She wanted to defend her mother. She did love her daughter but not enough to let her truly say things. They had never spoken about Danny either. It upset her too much. Rachel was fragile and Charlie was a bulldozer. She wasn’t allowed to express her true feelings, unless they were in accordance with her mother.

“Not going to speak to you…” She glared at him in the flickering light of the fire.

“Well, you have no choice. We’re not leaving until you say something.” And he gave her his lethal General Monroe look. It didn’t really work. She hadn’t been afraid of him for so long. But there was a part of her, the one that was crumbling behind that strong facade, that longed for this :to be able to talk.

“We’ve all been there. Before the blackout… lots of guys had to go to grief counselors. Miles and I thought we were tougher than that. We had more than enough ways to handle this… But it did help. Sometimes.”

The quiver in his voice when he said those last words made her look at his face.

“I don’t know what to say. Don’t know what to think… Or feel. He’s just gone. And I killed him.” Her throat was on fire and her vision was swimming.

She bit her lip and stared into the fire. Here it would come, the judgement, the well meaning thoughts : all wrong.

She waited for him to reply but he didn’t. She looked up and noticed his gaze gleaming in the firelight. And she could feel the tears stinging her eyes again. She missed home. Her real home, the one she wanted to leave so badly. But she knew that even if she went back, it won’t be the same. They were all gone.

She had to close her eyes and just breathe.

Her toes were toasty by the fire, her hands safely tucked between her knees. There no walls here, no roof but it felt more homely than the house where Rachel and Miles were waiting for her.

It was a lifetime later when he spoke, his voice barely above the sputtering of the fire :

“You didn’t have a choice Charlotte. Sometimes we just don’t have the choice. It’s live or die, kill or be killed. I saw you after that. We all did.. “ He was silent again, she could have sworn he had shuffled closer. She didn’t mind his proximity. He was the foundation of this safe haven. Sebastian Monroe made it all right. Later, she would think about the implication of all this. Right now, she just wanted to be soaked into this moment.

“He would have killed you. We didn’t know… He was gone the moment they did their little experiment on him. He was already gone.”

She thought again about those kids they had to kill. How can anyone do such a thing? Create such monsters? Killing them was a mercy. Killing Jason was the mercy he had deserved. Poor Jason.  
Her shoulders slumped and she pulled her knees against herself, her forehead finding support against her kneecaps. He was now sitting next to her and the arm that went around her shoulders made her shiver with comfort. It would be alright. In time, she will put all this truly behind, and she will be free once more.

They just sat in silence until daybreak. When the blushing light pierced her tired eyes, Charlie realized she had even dozed off. But Bass’ breath was still even, and his arm solidly offering her support and warmth.

 

They went back to Willoughby without any other heart to heart. They only shared a few words about the weather and the report that would have to be sent the same day. They were walking shoulder to shoulder, their bodies alright merging.

 

Yet, once they reached the town they were once more keeping away from each other. Bass just nod at her as they parted way, she did the same.

 

As the days went by, Charlie felt more like herself. It was strange with Bass, though. They barely talked but his gaze would always linger on her face. They were rarely alone. Miles was always around, grumbling and sputtering about something; never noticing that things had started to change.


	2. The fence at the brink

One month later, Charlie was once more feeling the urge to leave her desk and be free. The window offered more entertainment now : spring was everywhere and birds made sure everyone knew that. She had been doodling on a piece of paper when Miles came in. Charlie looked up, ready to ask him about his morning.

Her heart literally stopped when she saw the dark shadows in his eyes. He looked like after the tower, as if the whole world had collapsed. He looked paler than a ghost.

“What? What happened?” She jumped out of her chair. Her body was used to this movement. How many times had she received a bad news? Will her knees hold this time? She could already feel herself sinking.

She was holding each of his arms, her fingers digging into his flesh, ready to shake it all out of him. Better to rip out the bandaid. It will hurt anyways.

“Where’s Bass?” His question made pause in her growing panic.

“Why? He..” Her uncle gaze made her focus. There was urgency in his eyes. “He went to crash at my place. Had stayed up the whole night. Farmer Jim had another issue with looters… What happened, Miles?”

He was looking for Bass. Bass didn’t have anyone left. Charlie let go of her uncle and walked past him to look out of the window. Connor. He had been missing for a while now. She whispered his name.

“Yeah. He’s dead. I have to tell him.” And there was tremor in his voice. It was rare that Miles displayed compassion. But in this moment, she knew that in spite of the barking he cared about his friend. She nodded, her eyes watering up. Cocky Connor was gone. 

“I’m coming too.”

“Charlie.. It’s going to be ugly.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. She lifted her chin and shook her head : 

“I am coming. And that’s it.” She knew ugly. She knew Bass. And after all his care for her, saving her skin and mind, that was the least she could do.

Their walk to her brand new home was silent. It was only last week that she had moved in. Bass had helped her with some of her furniture, Miles had been busy nursing her mother who had some kind of migraine. In return of her new friend’s help, she had offered to let him crash during the day whenever he needed to. The office could be loud, with people coming to complain and the Sheriff always busy elsewhere.

When they stepped in, the fine aroma of coffee was filtering in the room. One of the perks of having such an important position in the community offered them access to very good supplies. The front door led them straight to the kitchen. Bass was leaning against the counter drinking his coffee. The old fashion furnace was lit and it gave a golden glow to the room. Charlie stood behind her uncle. Both men shared greetings but then Miles stopped. His gaze was turned downward. 

“Something happened.”

“Something happens every day Miles. Care to elaborate?” quipped Bass before taking a sip of coffee. But Miles didn’t answer. His gaze was still fixed on his shoes. Charlie pushed past him and stopped in front of Bass. Their feet were almost touching. The smell of his skin was mixed with the freshly brewed coffee. She searched for the right words, trying to find the right sentence but she knew that there were none. Even when it happened right in front of you, it didn’t make sense. She took hold of his coffee mug and placed on the counter.

“It’s Connor, Bass.” And she looked into his eyes. She was not going to hide and look away. He had offered her compassion in her time of need.

She saw his eyes change color, from limpid blue to stormy dark. He shook his head, his mouth opening but no word coming out. She could see his lips say no and no, over and over again but no sound escaped his mouth. There were tears in the corners of his eyes. He turned around, planting his fists on the counter, his back bent. And still Miles didn’t intervene.

Charlie stood behind Bass, looking at her uncle over her shoulder. But Miles was also shaking his head. She knew from little tidbits that it wasn’t the first time Miles was delivering a bad news to his friend. And she knew that Bass had never forgiven him for hiding Connor. It was that bad blood that made them go at each other at every turn. Bass wouldn’t take Miles’ assistance now. She knew it. She took a deep breath and moved closer to Bass. He was shaking. Her arms went around his waist, she felt him shift away but she kept her grip strong. With her forehead against his back she could feel him crying.

She heard Miles retreating, the door closing behind him. 

“Bass.” She tried but her voice was too hoarse. She tried again, “Bass.”

“Don’t.” He was heaving, his voice was not his. He was not melting in her embrace. She didn’t know how to hold him but she just knew he had to be held. Her cheeks were wet, she realized she had been crying too. Minutes went by and she was still holding him. Her feet were becoming numb, she staggered and took a step back, her hands falling away from his body. He turned around. His eyes were bloodshot and his face wet with tears. 

“Where did the son of a bitch go?” His voice was grating her, as if she had been swallowing pebbles.

He brushed past her, making his way to the front door.

“Wait Bass!”

“For what? For what, Charlotte? He took my son away from me and now he can’t even tell me he’s fucking dead?” As he spoke there were still tears rolling from his eyes. He stormed out and she followed him. They raced through the town to the Matheson house, leaving bewildered people behind them.

Parts of her, agreed with him but she was a Matheson too. Miles was her uncle. He was no angel but he was family; but so was Bass. She raced behind him but she didn’t know if she was following him to protect him or her uncle, or both.

They burst into the house. From the corridor, Charlie could see her mother and grandfather sitting around the table. Rachel was slicing some bread.

“Where’s Miles?” His voice sliced through the quiet morning.

“What on earth is wrong with you Bass?” Her mother’s cold tone was enough to make anyone mad but this was a man who had lost everything.

“Save it Rachel.” She was surprised at his restraint. He was looking out of the window and he was on the move again. She followed him to the garden. Miles was there, this time he was facing Bass.

“You can’t even tell me to my face? What kind of coward are you?” These were Bass’ last words before he lunged at his former best friend. Charlie was at first stunned by the display of violence. She had heard them yelling and heard of their fist fights but she hadn’t witnessed one. Miles punched Bass on the jaw but it wasn’t enough for the latter. Bass pushed Miles to the floor and was on him with his fists and kicks. Charlie lurched forward, without any thought on how to proceed.

“Stop!” She pulled at Bass arm who froze instantly. Miles had risen again without taking any notice of her. He jumped at his friend but Charlie pulled Bass away. His fist landed on Charlie instead. Both men stilled in their frenzy.

“What the hell Miles?” Bass was leaning over her, checking her face. She could feel her eye swelling. Bass was cradling her face, his hands were soft, nothing like those fists that had pounded on Miles.

“Charlie, you’re ok?” Miles placed a hand on her shoulder. She pulled away from both men,

“I’m fine but you need to calm down. Like now.” 

Rachel and her grandfather were out too.

“Charlie?” Her mother was worried it seemed but Charlie’s attention was on both men standing in front of her. Their palms were open, their faces downward. They were breathing hard but they were no longer pouncing on each other.

“What has gotten into you Charlie? Getting between them?” Her mother was closer now, but Charlie took a step back, colliding with Bass. She didn’t have the energy to throw her thoughts at her mother. She had seen enough action for today. Miles cleared his throat : 

“Listen Bass… They said..”

“Shut it, Miles. I’ve had enough of your bullshit.” Bass was breaking from their group, Charlie took another step back hating to lose his proximity. She raised a hand to her face. It was burning up, she should get it checked out, but she was in no mood to bear the judgement weighing down the Matheson house.

She wasn’t thinking, as her other hand took hold of Bass’. Their fingers interlaced and she saw her mother’s face drain of all blood. Miles looked equally stunned, his nonchalance fallen off. 

“Charlie I’m sorry. Come on in, we’ll look at your face.”

“No. No I’m fine. I’m not staying here.” She couldn’t say the words she wanted to say, they were not hers. She also wanted to berate her uncle. Monroe had been her personal bogeyman for a long time, but Bass deserved better.

“Just.. I’m fine. I’m going home.” She gently pulled at Bass hand, “come on.”

“Charlie!” Her mother’s voice was lost behind her back as they made their way out of the property. Their hands still linked, they cross the town back to her place.

Inside, the air was permeated with the smell of stale coffee. Charlie led Bass to the couch where he often slept. They sat down, side by side.

“You look like hell.” He cocked his head at her words, “So do you, Charlotte.” 

She thought again of that long night they spent huddled together in the wild. She remembered how things changed for her after that. Gone was the shadow of Jason Neville. He was just a sad passing memory. She was no longer haunted. All this, thanks to this bruised man.

“What do you need?” His gaze was on the floor as he heard her words.

“What I need? I need… Fuck… I…” He was shaking his head but he was not crying, his voice was low. He sounded like another man she barely knew. “I need a drink.”

Charlie nodded. She got up and checked the cupboard in the kitchen. Her instincts were right, there wasn’t any booze left. She poured a glass of water from the pitcher and gave it to Bass.

“Let me find something for your face… I’m fresh out. We can go to the bar.” Hopefully Aaron won’t be around to stare at them as if they were characters from his favorite comic. She would have preferred to stay in but she had to agree with him : they needed alcohol.

The good thing was that her grandfather had taught her the basics for caring for a wounded soldier. She had also learned a lot on the field. She sat down next to Bass and with freshly washed hands, she dabbed some ointment on his broken skin. He had closed his eyes. She was surprised he didn’t fight her off. The man under her hands seemed almost peaceful after his eruption this morning. Once she was done she started to clear up the coffee table where she had gathered her supplies.

“What about your face?” His voice startled her. She had almost thought he had fallen asleep.  
“I’m fine.”  
“You’re not fine. Your face is a mess.”  
“Very flattering.” He was smiling. With his fingertips he cleaned up her eye and pressed a deliciously cool wet cloth on it. 

“Camomille. It does wonder.” He placed her hands on the cloth covering her eye and started to work on a cut on her cheek. “Funny how stuff like this is called medicine. Back in the days… What I would give to take you to an ER.”

“You’re the one who needs a doctor.”

“Nah.. Not when the only doctor in town is your mother or AARP.”

He seemed fine as he finished patching her up. He didn’t show any hint of the volatility that had made him attack Miles. He seemed almost normal. Some cried to clear up emotions, Bass beat up people. Well… that wasn’t entirely true. He had cried, hadn’t he? He was always surprising her. He kept on tearing up the image she had made of him, time and time again. Where her uncle was cold as ice, Bass was vulnerable and fire. Perhaps he tried to hide his emotion but his eyes always betrayed him… At least to her.

They left the houe and made their way to the bar. Their appearance didn’t make anyone react. In their line of work, it was expected. After a few drinks, Bass stopped mentioning the liquide treasure that his private bar at Independence Hall had contained. They were quiet again, until Charlie dared to speak about the pink elephant in the room.

“Miles didn’t tell me what happened. You need to find out.”

“What difference does it make? Car crash, childbirth… “

“Shot, infection, helicopters… Self defense. It doesn’t change anything but it helps.”

They were quiet again. She thought about Connor. All her emotions had been for Bass today but Connor had been her friend, and her one time lover. And she’ll never see him again. Another face to forget, another face to haunt her. Someone else to burry but will there be a body this time?

“What the hell happened to both of you?” Of course Aaron would be here. He had adjusted to life here. He was a regular at the bar, when he was not teaching. Charlie drew comfort from his familiar grinning face. Good old Aaron, the one last constant from her childhood. At least, he was still here. He sat down across them. 

“Miles.” Bass didn’t say more, tucking in his glass.

“I guess he told you…” Aaron looked around and then back to his glass. 

“Do you know what happened? Miles.. Well, let’s just say that he didn’t get around to briefing us.* Charlie was surprised at her own words, “us”? How did they become “us”? And yet, here she was with a black eye matching Bass’ and sitting so close she was still immersed in his familiar scent.

“From what I’ve heard, they found his body and Neville’s together… Both dead.”

“No witness?”

“None. There was a talk of an insurgency. Something to do with the nanites.” Nobody had managed to deal with those elements if one could call them like that. Charlie didn’t understand half of what her mother and Aaron said about them. They just stopped disturbing Aaron’s life. No more magical events happening here, no more people from the past creeping in their daily lives.

Aaron didn’t explain further, neither Charlie nor Bass asked for more. After awhile, Charlie went to get more drinks. When she came back, Aaron was talking.

“... No. It was outside the town.”

“So they didn’t bury him?”

“We.. Well.. I think they did. After they found him, that is. You should ask Miles.”

“Last person I want to talk to.” Bass mumbled as his gaze found hers for a flicker before he looked away.

Charlie placed the tree glass of ale in front of them. They didn’t have anything stronger left today.

“I can ask him,” she offered. Bass shook his head.

“This is my.. My battle, Charlotte. You shouldn’t have come between us.” He sounded so self righteous, she couldn’t help but snort.

“And I should have let you kill each other? Someone needs to teach you guys to use words before your fists.” There was a flash of irritation in Bass’ eyes. It was a change from his morose contenance since the fight. He was still in there. He opened his mouth but closed it again. Aaron shuffled :

“Never thought you’d have the vocation to be a teacher, Charlie.” He tried in a light tone but Bass kept his scowl on. 

“I’ll leave that in your good hands. You’re the one who taught me how to behave like a human being. Here’s a new student for you. Why don’t you start now…” She said as she pointed to Monroe. She got up and gathered her things. “I have to go. I need this day to be over.”

She didn’t look at Monroe again. There was still acid laced in their interactions. She didn't’ know why she cared. She made a face as the cold air hit her face. She really needed to go to bed. In fact, Monroe was right, this was his battle.

She made it home, and was pulling off her boots when the door burst open. Of course, it was him. It was always him. 

“Charlotte…”

“Save it. You do that every fucking time. I’m always here for you but you’re always pushing me away.” She tried really hard not to sound hurt but she did. She knew today wasn’t about her, it was about him losing his son. Her nails dug into her palms : why did she care so much?

“I didn’t…” He was standing in front of her, looking completely sober. His eyes flashing with something she couldn’t quite identify. “I didn’t. You got hurt Charlotte.”

“So what? Miles didn’t mean it.”

“I could have punched you too. I was so angry, I was blind.. I’m still so..” His hands were jammed into his jeans pockets.

“I don’t understand where this is going.. I’m tired. We’re both tired. You lost your son Just.. Go sleep on the couch. We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” She didn’t leave him any time to answer as she kicked close her bedroom door.

Only, sleep wouldn’t come. She was lying in the pitch dark, staring at nothing. He wasn’t snoring either. He must have been up. She knew it. She turned again, willing herself to imagine being in her childhood bed. But there was no Danny sleeping nearby. Just her, this cloud door, and Monroe. Bass. His words were still haunting her. “You got hurt Charlotte.” Why would he care? Why did he save her so many times? Why did she care? Why did she have his back? Those questions were firing up in her mind, making her twitch and turn but finding no solace in the comfort of her bed.

It wasn’t working. She slipped off her bed and peered out of her bedroom door. The candle she had left on the table was still lit but the table was empty. He must have dozed off. She tiptoed to the table to blow out the candle but the floorboard creaked loudly.

“Always so stealthy…” She jumped at the sound of his voice coming from the opposite side of the room. She hadn’t noticed him standing by the window. 

“Still up?”

He nodded. His eyes were shining in the penumbra and she could see and feel his gaze travelling over her body. She had changed into an old t-shirt that barely covered her thighs. She remembered under his heated gaze that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. She shivered. They had been playing this game for a while now. He had many times caught her feasting on him, with her gaze. He was an attractive man. It had taken many years for her to admit it to herself. If only she had been able to face it, things would have gone very differently at New Vegas. Yeah, New Vegas.. Connor. Connor was dead. She let out a long breath.

If there was one man that could make her feel attractive, with tangled hair, barefoot and a black eye, that was Sebastian Monroe.

They were adults. They were alone. They were single. Nothing, and no one could stop them from crossing that bridge, nothing but ghosts. And yet, Charlie leaned against the wall, while he did the same from across the room. There was an invisible border between them. She knew very well that once it was crossed, nothing would ever be the same.

She peered into the semi-darkness to try to decipher his thoughts. His eyes were glowing but he was unreadable. She knew he wanted her. She had known that from the start. He was breathing hard, she could hear him. A few more steps, and she could smell him. Her whole body was tingling in anticipation, warmth spreading from her core to her toes. Maybe, it was time she crossed that border. He wasn’t even wearing a shirt, her hands were tingling to feel his solid flesh under them.

She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. A knock at the door startled her from her trance like state. She frowned, unable to move as if she were immersed in a dream. Another insistent knock and the door creaked open. 

“Charlie, you’re awake?” Miles was in before either of them could move. He was about to say something more but he turned to where Bass was standing. And then he looked at Charlie again. She opened her mouth to protest, as her uncle advanced on Bass.

“You son of a bitch! You haven’t changed.” But this time Charlie intercepted him in time, she was standing between both men.

“Don’t start again Miles. Bass sleeps here sometimes,” she pointed at the couch where the tangled sheets attested to her words, “not that it’s any of your business. What are you doing here at this time?”

Miles looked at the couch cover with a pillow and sheet, with narrowed eyes, he looked at Charlie again and Bass but he just shook his head.

“Couldn’t sleep. Wanted to make sure you were ok.” He was hovering over her, his hand on his cheek. It was a tender gesture as was his voice, “I’m sorry, Charlie.”

She offered him a crooked smile,

“Really, I’m fine Miles. Maybe I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” And with that, Miles hand fell and his face was drawn again. 

“I don’t know what’s going on between both of you…” He mumbled, shaking his head. 

“Come on Miles. Stop changing the subject. He just lost his son and you’re going on about this.”

With a quick glance, she ascertained that Bass was still here. His eyes were fixed on Miles, he looked pissed off. The electricity in the room that had made her body sway to Bass had changed into an electric storm now that both men were facing each other again.

“Ok. Both of you need to deal with this. I’m going to bed… Just.. Play nice.” She retreated to her bedroom door, “please?”

“I’ll try.” offered Miles but Bass was quiet but his eyes found hers, and she knew he’d do his very best. 

Charlie stood against her door, trying to listen. There were whispers. She could tell Miles was speaking but couldn’t make out what he was saying. After a few minutes, she heard the front door open and close again. There was a shuffle, and then the tired springs of her couch announced that Sebastian Monroe was now lying down.

After that night, Bass no longer slept at the office. He was here every evening and every morning. Sometimes, shirtless, often cooking something. She found out that he was an excellent cook, but couldn’t stand any noise in the morning. And mostly, she found out that she slept so much better when he was in the house. They were still gliding at the edge of that fence line. One day the heat will be too much and will burn that fence, that much Charlie knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support! Thank you for reading this story.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this installment. I am very sorry for all the pain I cause these poor characters. I hope I wasn't too hard on Miles! I tend to always side with Bass in these moments.
> 
>  
> 
> What did you think?


	3. Words stumble over a bed

The morning light was filtering through the tattered curtains. Maybe she should make our buy new curtains? A sigh escaped her lips as Charlie remembered her mother’s horrified face when she saw the curtains and the stained windows. No. It was better this way. Her gaze followed the ray of light that was flooding over a curly mop of hair like a halo. Bass face was drawn, his gaze in the dark pit of his mug.

They were both sipping coffee. She looked at him from over the rim of her mug. He hadn’t spoken about Connor since that fateful day, nor about what Miles had told him that night. But since then, he and Miles were back to playful banter and careful avoidance. And yet, something remained in him that made her think that it wasn’t over for him. It was about how much he drank, and the many bar fights she or Aaron had to break. Today, he looked like he had been trampled by a herd of wild horses. Some griefs are too jagged to be uttered out loud. He looked up and his gaze found hers.

He wouldn’t look away until she was shivering. It was too early for this heat. And yet, every day her craving grew.

“We need a bigger bed.” His voice almost made her drop her mug. She saw the challenge in his gaze but he looked away before she could catch any hint of vulnerability.

“We? This is my place.”

  
He cocked his head and there was the hint of a smile lighting up his face, like a ray of sunshine during a downpour.

  
“And I’m fine with my bed.”

“I’m not.” She didn’t know if he was joking or dead serious, his voice was low as he went on, “you didn’t seem to mind when I made that omelette.”

“Just because I like your food, doesn’t mean I want you in my bed.”

The words came out all wrong. She had to gently place her mug on the table. He was usually not a morning person. Maybe he was in a good mood because neither of them had to work today. He was quietly laughing at her words, showing a gaiety she had barely witnessed in him. She had heard about Bass Monroe, the fun guy before his parents died. Even after that, he still had it in him to enjoy life to the fullest. The man she had gotten used to was a shadow of that. And yet, sometimes he surprised her. It was like a flash of sunlight in a stormy overcast day. Wasn’t he grieving his son?

“Relax, Charlotte. I’m just too old to sleep on this old couch. I’m not asking for anything else.” The words made her cheeks warm up.

“So, why don’t you get your own place?” she asked through her teeth.

“Why should I? I’ve already moved in here. All my stuff is here.” There was only a bag by his makeshift bed, and a few addition to the kitchen and on the hangers.

“I’ll think about it.” And with those words, she stood up and went to the door. They had basically moved in together, but they had never talked about it. It was all upside down. Her mother had yelled about her poor decision making skills. Aaron had tried to joke about it but had choked on it. Miles never acknowledged it.

Suddenly a thought occurred to her and she furrowed her brow :

“Why change my bed. Why don’t you buy one for yourself?“ He held her gaze, a smile tugging on his lips and glint in his eyes. He didn’t care about the bed. He was tired. She was tired. It wasn’t about a bed. After so many years, how do you ask a girl for a date? A girl that you made an orphan, a girl that tried to kill you, a girl that took you in when you had nowhere else to go? You buy a new bed. That must be it.

She considered him from the threshold. He was no longer looking at her, his gaze was drowning into his mug of black coffee.

Nope. They were not a couple of wild kids trying to shack up. They were two homeless people trying to find some warmth. She knew about his sleepless nights. She knew about how much he tossed and turned in that squeaky old couch, and the pacing. He looked up again, and their eyes met. Damn those eyes, with that little cocky glint. It reminded her of Connor. It made her look away and shrug as she left the house. Why couldn’t he talk like a normal person?

She walked through the town, into the wilderness. This was where she did her best thinking. She saw a rabbit dart by, and she instantly regretted leaving without her crossbow. Truth was, she didn’t mind him being here, and she had often thought about inviting him to her narrow bed. She hadn’t slept with anyone recently, neither had he. She kicked a stone. There was too much restraint on both sides. Since when had they become frozen into statues? Since the death toll had risen, since her heart had endured far too many loses. Losing him would hurt whether they had crossed that distance or not.

The good old Charlie wouldn’t have hesitated. Although her grief over losing Jason had lessened she still remembered that hollowness. She didn’t want to have a Monroe shaped hole in her heart. It would happen nevertheless.

Her craving for him had grown through the weeks of playing roommate. She still spied his hungry looks but he never spoke, never made a move. Even this morning’s display had been detached, devoid of the heat his gaze held. He was scared too. He made into a joke. It was easier this way.

It was only fair, he had lost his whole family… And this whole mess about Connor’s mother and Miles. And other things that she noticed in his eyes. There were pools of darkness in his blue eyes, in spite of the many moods she could read in them. She sat down on a hollowed tree trunk and closed her eyes.

She was tired. Their life had been uneventful ever since they had decided to stay here. Perhaps, this was what normal life felt like. After so many days filled with an intensity that people might not experience in an entire lifetime, this was exhausting. The guys who tried to sweet talk her when she was shoving them behind bars, or the ones who dared to flirt with her at the bar were like tin soldiers. They all looked the same and there was nothing but lead inside of them.

Bass offered something else. He was like those forgotten volcanoes, full of un-erupted magma. And she wanted that lava, that fire. Or else, she’d also turn into a porcelain doll.

Only, she didn’t want it to start this way.

She opened her eyes as the scent of warm grass filled her being. She wanted more. She stretched her legs and her toes. She didn’t want, she craved. It was like air. He was like air, and fire, both at the same time.

She walked back to the house. He was still sitting there. He looked up expectantly.

“The answer is no.”

She didn’t want it to be a transaction, or just a deal to buy furniture. She wanted what she had so often drank up from his eyes. She had enjoyed her time with poor Connor, but Bass was the real thing. She didn’t want their beginning to be like this. She wanted him, all of him… Not just his body. And he was closed off, with reason, but closed off nevertheless.

She didn’t offer anything else, and he didn’t ask. She avoided him the rest of the day. In the evening, she left without him for the bar. There she was greeted by the tin soldiers, the pretty porcelain boys. Perhaps, the latter would be better to describe them. What did they truly know of war and blood? The shrapnel and the steel, the blood and the sweat? They were just pretty little boys, yapping puppies.

She found one that was braver than the others. Timothy had played with her when they were kids, every time she visited her grandparents. Now his straight blond hair had grown to his shoulder and he had a semblance of a moustache. She decided to play a game : every time he said something utterly stupid, she took a sip.

Later that night, she regretted the game. As they were nearing her house, she could barely walk straight. Mathesons always hold their drink but she wasn’t feeling like a Matheson tonight.

“So, come on in. That’s home sweet home.” The boy was smiling as he stepped in but instantly his face fell.

“Oh don’t mind him. That’s Grumpy, my roommate. He’s doesn’t mind. He can go for a walk.” She flashed a bright smile that she didn’t feel to Bass.

He didn’t budge, his arms were crossed over his chest. He was glaring at her, not even acknowledging the guy next to her. He was standing by the kitchen table, like some kind of doorkeeper. How the mighty have fallen…

“I’m not going for a walk, Charlotte.”

“Well then, I hereby apologize for the noise we will be making.” She scampered past him, her arm brushing against his, making her stagger. He caught her arm, keeping her steady. A giggle escaped her lips, the whole room was dancing and he stood straight like a lamppost. He looked ridiculous with that scowl. His gaze turned to Timothy :

“What the hell is wrong with you? She’s obviously drunk.”

“What? We’re both drunk. Just having fun.. Grumpy.” Oh he was definitely brave. Very brave to say such things when Bass had his Monroe face on. Charlie let out a peal of laughter, holding on to Bass’ arm. Bass wasn’t smiling, his eyes were dark.

“Get. out. of. Here. Now.” The young man flinched under the threat. They all knew this was Monroe and nobody wanted to mess with him, unless they were utterly trashed. He left in a hurry, leaving the door ajar.

“Hey! Timmy! Come back. He’s joking.” Charlie called from the door. Bass slammed it shut.

“I like your your new nickname. Grumpy. Just because you’re not having fun, doesn’t mean I can’t.”

“Charlotte.” He paused, “we’ll talk about this tomorrow.” His voice was so soft against her loud indignant roar :

“Oh no! Not so fast. You just ruined my evening. Come on, let’s talk about it. We’re not together, it’s none of your business what I do.” He paced away from her and came back to face after a few steps.

“After what happened last time, do you think I would let anything like that happen to you again. What was the plan, really? He’s not even your type.” He blurted out the last sentence in a hurry as if he didn’t hear himself say it.

“Ah so you’re jealous.” She laughed, she couldn’t stop laughing. In fact, she literally fell on her behind because of the hilarity of the whole situation. He hovered over her, and picked her up like she was ragged doll.

“You’re going to bed.”

“I thought the bed was too small for both of us.”

“You’re going to bed. I’m sleeping on the damn couch.” He sounded fed up. He put her down on her bed but she held on to him. She wanted him to react so badly but her wit had been dulled out with the alcohol. All she could think about were his strong arms, the smell of his skin and those eyes burning off hers.

“Come on Sebastian. You ruined my evening. You’d better make up for it.” her hands went to his curls and tugged them.  
He shook his head and pulled away. At her doorstep, he looked over his shoulder :

“You’ll be the death of me Charlotte Matheson.”

 

When she woke up the next morning, on top of the raging hangover she had, she was mortified. Timothy Helder? What the fuck had gotten into her. After that, as she reached for the glass of water a kind soul had left by her bedside, she felt relieved that Bass had put an end to this.

It wouldn’t have been the first time she made questionable choices when it came to her bedmates but she didn’t want to be stuck in that cycle. She didn’t regret her time with Connor but she regretted the consequences of her action. But it was too early to think about that.

She rolled out of bed, keeping herself from throwing up. It hadn’t seemed to be much last night but today it was far too much. And on top of that, today, she actually had to work. Texas was sending a new guy they wanted them to train. After all, who were better than the Mathesons & Monroe to each people how to kill?

There was a scent that was wafting from the kitchen that both made her mouth water and made her want to gag. Monroe was frying up something over the fire. As soon as she came in, he handed her a glass of some murky substance that made her want to throw up again.

“Down the hatch.”

“What is this?“

“Trust me. You’ll thank me later.” She shot him a look of disbelief but too a sip. It was disgusting. But if there was someone that she could trust, it was him.  
She slammed the glass back on the table.

“Best hangover cure. Always worked on Miles.” After that, strangely enough, she forgot the foul taste as her stomach settled. He slid another glass full of water towards her. She avidly drank it up. As soon as he set a table full of egg and sausage in front of him, she knew she was in the best of hands. Minutes earlier, she wouldn’t have dared to even bite into a piece of toast. Now she was gobbling up all the greasy food. It was heaven.  
As she was polishing off her plate, he sat down in front of her. There was also a mug of steaming coffee waiting for her. She had no idea how he had managed to become such a good cook and why he was doing all of this after last night’s excitement.

“About last night…” She tried, after her first sip of deliciously bitter coffee. She didn’t know what to add. She could remember bits here and there but she knew it hadn’t been pretty. Timothy fucking Helder.

“You got drunk. Acted stupid. We all do that.”

“It’s just.. Damn it!” She busied her mouth again with the coffee. There was something stuck in her throat, she had a hard time swallowing the beverage.

“You’re pissed at me about what I asked. And I don’t know why. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. I’ll just buy a new couch or another bed.. Whatever. It didn’t mean anything.” His eyes darted from her face to his hands, and then back to her face.

“I want you.” The words were blurted out, burning her lips, “I want you but I don’t want us to be a convenient arrangement.” He nodded but didn’t respond. She hid her face behind her mug as she pretend to drink the last drops of coffee left. He was silent for so long, she almost dashed out. When he spoke again, his voice was low, so very low, that she was listening with her whole body from her toes to to the top of her hair :

“I did it before. Shacking up. Getting attached. I stopped believing this was still in the cards for me. And even if it was… I can’t do it again. Not after Co… Not after all of this.” His eyes were on her again, offering her an almost childish innocence. Here here was, all broken and shivering, awaiting her judgement. Wasn’t it the other way around?

“You’re the one who said…” She tried but her voice was hoarse.

“I know. Because I can’t walk away. I should walk away. Fuck. I should have walked away months ago.”

He was quiet again, busying himself with the dishes and pouring the leftover coffee in her mug. It was lukewarm but at least, she could also busy herself.

“I’m scared too.” Her voice didn’t sound like hers, she sounded like the old Charlie Matheson, the one who died after her brother. “But…”

He had left the dishes in a pail of water and was still turning his back to her. She crossed the distance to stand behind him.

“Bass.” He turned around, keeping his body well away from hers. “Bass. It doesn’t change anything. I mean.. If we just act like strangers… It’s still going to hurt when you leave or something happens to you. It will hurt even more because I will regret it. It’s too late.”

“Too late?”

“Too late to pretend we don’t already matter to each other.”

His eyes found hers, he might be frowning but she could see a new spark in them. Here there was no awkward conversation about a bed, it was just Charlotte and Bass. His eyes inviting her in and offering what he had.

His fingers brushed against her bare arm and shoulder, sending a delicious tremor all through her body. He was really here this time. He leaned forward and lips barely brushed hers. She closed her eyes and breathed him in. Her arms rose to clasp him but when she opened her eyes he was gone.

She stood alone in her kitchen, their kitchen, and shook her head. Well, it wasn’t perfect but they were going somewhere. Now, how will she avoid Timothy Helder?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, it's all about a bed. Funny how this guy was in charge of a whole country and she instigated a revolution against it. Now they are like foolish younglings who are unable to communicate with words.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it. Once more, thank you for the support. It really means a lot to me.


	4. When fear grips his heart

Days turned into weeks. Charlie and Bass were still lingering at the edge of the wood. They were both comfortable under the other’s heated gaze, but neither was budging. He still slept on the couch, and her on the bed but they were laughing again at silly things and spending time not speaking. They were enjoying a quiet morning when Miles burst in. Well, no mornings were ever quiet here.

They both looked up from their coffee mugs to look at him. Charlie noticed the glare Miles aimed at Bass but as as soon as she spied it, it was gone. Bass had been living here for far too long for Miles to be weirded out.

“You guys are late! Anyways… There’s word that there’s some kind of patriot recruiting scheme going on in the merry town of Goldseals. Need someone to check it out.“ He gave a long look to Bass who reluctantly muttered :

“Undercover mission?” 

“Maybe… Depends on what you find there.“

“Me? You think it’s a great idea to send me, General Sebastian Monroe for an undercover mission?“ He shook his head, a wry smile playing on his lips. Miles sighed loudly. 

“Fuck. You’re right. Charlie,” he turned at her, “you should go.”

Charlie nodded but Miles didn’t continue. His gaze was beyond the cosy kitchen to the corner where Bass couch was still covered with his sheet and his personal items. 

Miles massaged his forehead with his hands.

“I.. I can’t go. Your mother isn’t well. Will you guys be ok going together?” There was a pause and then he straightened up, “There’s a pack with maps and other info at the office. Can you go get it, Charlie?” His gaze was now narrowed on Bass. Charlie hesitated on the doorway.

“Charlie? Now, please.” Charlie shot a look at Bass : his jaw was clenched but he nodded at her. He can fight his own fights.

As she raced to the office she knew very well that her uncle was giving Bass the second degree. It didn’t make much sense. She repressed a smile : hadn’t they been living together for months? Part of her wanted to go back and remind Miles that she was an adult, another part of her was missing her father. It wasn’t like she wanted anyone to yell at Bass, she was a grown woman but sometimes she missed the days when she was Miles’ sole responsibility. Her mother was always his first concern, she came second. 

After Charlie left all huffing and puffing, Bass stood up slowly. He looked at his friend but as usual Miles didn’t offer anything. 

“So? What is this about?” He was now facing his friend, Miles finally looked at him.

“Charlie’s… Charlie is a grown woman. And I can’t tell her what to do. But you? You should know better than to mess with her. I’m sending you together for that mission or whatever. But don’t think for one second,” and his voice rose with each words,” that I’m not looking out for her. One wrong move and I won’t hesitate.”

Bass could feel the waves of irritation, anger even, rising from his feet to his head. His hands had curled up and his jaw was clenched so tight it hurt. He took one step, but he could see her as if she was standing here. Charlie with a black eye. Charlie trying to make them stop in their cycle of violence. He took a deep breath but his head was already pounding.

“Like you said, she’s a grown woman. And much smarter than both of us combined… In fact, these last months have confirmed that she doesn’t need you to take care of her. I mean…” and he could almost hear Charlie telling him to not go there, but she wasn’t here,” you’ve got your hands full with your frigid bitch.” The words rolled on his lips like like syrup.

“Don’t do that. Don’t drag Rachel into this.” Miles had taken a step back, his hands folded behind his back, “I’m just saying… Leave her alone. She’s got enough shit to handle with all the bad things you did to her family.”

Bass snorted and his hands went up, “And there you go again Saint Miles. Don’t you get tired of that same old song? As if you didn’t take her mother away from her, or drag her brother into the line of fire?” Another calming breath, Charlotte will be back soon. He went on with a lower voice, his gaze on the window:

“She doesn’t blame you for this but she could. She doesn’t blame me either. She’s… Charlotte, she’s a good person. And she’s strong enough to make her own decision. If she wants to walk away from this, whatever this is… I’m not holding her back.” 

His gaze went back to the window, he could see Charlie in the distance, he faced Miles again :

“So, as long as she wants me here, I’m staying. But you… You who took… “ He shook his head, this was not the time to bring up Connor. His chest was constricted and he couldn’t breathe. He started again in an even lower voice, “You? I suggest you back the hell off.”

Charlie burst in the room, she looked at them. He could see her panting and her cheeks all flushed. One smile and she could outshine the sun. But her frown was back as she looked at both of them carefully.

“So I guess we should gear up. All clear, Miles?” His tone didn’t leave any space for Miles to retort.

Miles’ attention was on his niece anyways. He nodded quietly.

 

They left within the hour. As they were making out of the city, Charlie finally spoke up:

“What did Miles want to talk about?”

“Something about protecting your honor.” He was rewarded with a smile. He was an idiot. What he’d do for a small smile from that pigheaded force of nature?

“Seriously? I didn’t think he cared…”

“He does, Charlotte. He’s just Miles… And your mother has been messing up his brain since day one. “ 

He owed as much to Miles. They might be on the outs, but he still knew his friend well enough. And Charlie needed to know people were on her side. He had no idea how and when he had become so protective of her. It made him uneasy. He looked away from her searing gaze. There were in a mission, not a romantic stroll. He needed to get a grip. 

Sometimes, most of the time, she terrified him to the point of not wanting to speak to her. But she was right, it was too late to pretend that they didn’t matter to each other.

“I guess.. She seems to be his perfect excuse for everything these days. So what did you say?”

“Are you warming up for our mission or what? You need to brush up your interrogation technique. Yeah.. Well.. I told him to back off. “ His pace quickened, as he threw the words over his shoulder, “and that I wasn’t budging. That is, until you throw me out.”

She raced behind him but she didn’t say anything.

 

In fact, she kept her peace until they were settled in front of a campfire. She was rummaging in her bag when she stilled, and turned to him.

“Did you mean what you said?”

It was uncanny how he knew exactly what she was alluding too. Did he mean it? Of course. Did she need to know that? He wasn’t so sure. There was a part of him that he kept buried inside, a part that drew a wedge between him and Connor. He cared too much for his own good. He was too loyal for his own good. Even now, he sometimes woke up from deep sleep to remember Jeremy’s face, or he woke up in cold sweat thinking about all the people who died in his so called Republic because of the nukes. He was a joke. All those years of keeping the face of President Monroe, unflinching and in control hadn’t worked well. In the end, he hadn’t been able to keep it in. He signed loudly. Did another Matheson need to know about his weakness? Miles had known and in the end it had been another bullet in that gun he was holding the night he left. 

“I get it. You don’t have to say anything.” Her voice was hoarse, almost painful to hear, “we’re all going to die anyway… We don’t have have to say or promise anything.” 

He glanced at her, her eyes were glittering in the dark and she was resting her chin on her knees. There had always been something about her that cracked his firm resolve. 

“Actually we do. I do. I… Charlotte.” Her name was like a prayer, a relief to whisper, “I meant it. I think I’ve shown you enough how much I mean it.”

Damn the scarcity of the post blackout world, what he would give for a smoke right now. Sometimes, he managed to buy a packet of homemade cigarettes but it was mostly a luxury that an ex-dictator couldn’t indulge in. It would help to keep him from saying any more silly things.

“I know… It’s stupid, really. I just needed to hear it.” He nodded at her words. People were snuffed out but words remained.

He could still hear them : “You’ll catch you death, don’t forget your scarf.” “Wow! You really need to stop hanging out with Miles and drinking so much.” “Thanks Bass. You’re really my best friend. Well, after Kim.” “You can do better, you’re just not trying.” All those distinctive voices, each one of them fading with time and yet still so real, as if his whole family was standing there, just in the corner of his eyes. Even now, sometimes, it took his breath away to realize that they were gone. It couldn’t be true. “You’re not my dad, so yeah I call you Bass or Monroe. Whatever.” And now Connor had followed them in the dark silence. And Shelly’s warm laugh, more smiles and laughter than words. Fuck, he was losing it. 

“It’s not stupid. Listen Charlotte… “ And he couldn’t say it, he could only feel it. He had drawn a line in the sand, refusing to cross it. He will hurt her, worse, she could ever hurt him. It was too late, too old.. Too dangerous. They had been talking for far too long. She was so close to him and yet why did it feel like his arm was filled with lead when he reached to touch her shoulder? She looked into his eyes. She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, his lips were over hers. He kissed her roughly, with a need that was louder than any scream. Breathlessly, he pulled away to look into her eyes. She didn’t push him away, inside she cradled his face between her hands and smiled before she kissed him again. He was a goner. 

Distantly, Bass heard a crack and a sharp intake of breath, he froze.

“Well, well what d’we have here?” 

He jumped to his feet, pulling his gun out of the back of his pants. Charlie followed his suit, in perfect coordination. 

“Oh don’t mind me lovebirds.”

“We’re on official business for the government of Texas. You’re lucky I’m in a good mood. We usually shoot and ask questions later.”

Right on queue, Charlie added :

“What do you want?”

“Oh me? Well.. I’d love it if you guys were into free love.” He winked at Charlie making Bass instantly clench his jaw, “food? Maybe some warmth…. Money?” The guy’s voice grew weaker and weaker. Bass narrowed his eyes, he knew the type, highway robbers. He hadn’t been expecting Texas’ finest.

“I suggest you go back to where you came from.” He had to admire Charlotte’s steely voice and squared shoulders. She had always been ready to fight, to act, and he was glad all that sad business with her family and Jason hadn’t broken her spirit.

“Okay, okay.. I’ll just go. Have fun.” He winked again, his eyes sizing up Charlie. Bass let out a breath, his shoulders tense and his gun still aimed at the guy’s guts. He retreated into the darkness.

“He’ll be back.” Bass mused as he sat down again. Charlotte looked around, still standing :

“What makes you think that? I’d think he’ll go looking for an easier prey.”

“The way he was looking at you…” Charlie snorted at his words :

“Come on, don’t be a caveman.” She plopped down next to him, her leg brushing against his. She was laughing again and he was willing to forget about that idiot who broke their moment. She was mesmerizing. He didn’t blame the fucker, she was a sight for sore eyes. And the way the firelight made her cheeks glow and her eyes sparkle was enough to make him forget their interruption.

“Where were we?” He smiled at her, willing her to come closer. She placed one hand on his thigh, making him flinch. 

“Maybe we should sleep? We don’t know what’s waiting for us once we get there.” He covered her hand with his. He wanted to tease her about being scared but it would ring too close to reality : they were both scared of whatever they were becoming. 

“Alright. We have time. You can sleep… I’ll keep an eye around. ‘Ll wake you when it’s your turn.” She nodded, but before he could brace himself, she had curled herself against him, her head finding his shoulder.

“Hope you don’t mind. Too tired to find my sleeping bag.” She yawned and closed her eyes. He didn’t answer. Instead, his arm went around her shoulder to draw her closer. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to sleep in, but he was too immersed in her closeness to comment on it. He was willing to take whatever she gave him.

It was soothing, too soothing. He was warm, and somewhat comfortable. This comfort was too dangerous, he closed his eyes only for a moment. His senses were attuned to the noises around them. They’d be fine, he was Sebastian fucking Monroe.

But he slipped into a deep sleep, only to be woken up on the ground without Charlie. He shot up, staggering to his feet. Charlie was standing in front of a gang of gangly dirty men. He had been right. Damn it.

He reached for his gun.

“Told’ya she was a hot piece.” The man they had previously encountered was boldly patting her cheek. His gun was still tucked in his waistband, but he saw Charlie’s own firearm at his feet. In the blink of an eye, his gun was in his hand, and hers tucked in the back of his jeans.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” His voice was still rough with sleep but he had never needed much time to be pulled out of slumber.

“Come on, old man. Nobody taught you how to share?” Another guy advanced towards Charlie. Bass strode towards them but before he could reach her, Charlie had kneed the guy in the balls, making him double over. His girl was a fighter. He was by her side within seconds, and even took a step more to stand between them and Charlotte.

“You really don’t want to start this fight. What are you? A bunch of farmers fallen into hard time?” He cocked his gun.

“You have no idea old man. D’you know what’s a mile from here? A state juvenile penitentiary. We grew up there. D’you want to know what happened to the guards?” The guy talking flashed a toothless smile. Bass moved in front of Charlie, hoping she would see her gun in the waistband of his jeans. 

He knew this type of guys. He had even recruited guys like them to keep his people in line. His brave Charlotte had distracted him last night. And now they had to pay the price.

At this range, his sword would be of better use. His mind took hims back to Pottsboro, making his blood boil again. He had done it before, and this time he had a fully conscious Charlotte to have his back. He went back to standing next to her.

“Pottsboro.” He whispered, loud enough for her to hear. He didn’t know if the magical Matheson & Monroe communication would work here but they at least had a few common references. She nodded. How much did she remember of that night? She took a step forward, swaying to his side, he could see that she was sporting Miles’ sword. She usually kept her knife in her boot. Seven guys? He had done with worse odds. 

“You know what? I’m okay if I can pick which one of you i want first.” He had never heard Charlie speaking in that flirty girly tone. As they guys looked at each other, he took hold of Charlie’s sword. The first guy came towards her with a toothy grin.

“Okay, so let’s go towards there. I don’t like having an audience.” She was smiling but it wasn’t warming his bones. It was terrifying him. One wrong move and Charlie could get hurt. And then, he’d be better off dead. Charlie had taken the guy’s hand and she was leading him towards the trees. She was coaxing him, and he heard her say more loudly :

“Do you like Batman? You could be Batman tonight…”

And with that he heard the man yell in pain, and he was at work with his sword with the other six guys.   
In the fray, Charlie joined him, using her knife to create some havoc. Their confidence was the best thing to use against them, none of them were protecting their throat which he slashed and slashed. They were all either dead or dying, he looked towards Charlie. She looked fine, breathing heavily and wiping her knife on a dead guy’s shirt.

“Let’s move.” He could still feel the adrenaline coursing in his veins. He had been a soldier for so long, a general, his body and mind were neatly pilling into the mold that made him General Sebastian Monroe. No more distraction from the girl who made his kingdom tumble down.

Charlie didn’t need to be told twice, she picked up her things. The fire had died down. They left the bodies drawing flies under the pink sky. Who would notice a bunch of low life waste of space rotting in the sunshine? 

Bass didn’t look over his shoulder to check if Charlie was following. He could hear her shuffling behind him. Blood was drying on his clothes and face. His neck was prickling, he wanted to look around and check if she had survived the ordeal unscathed but he couldn’t. Within hours, his shield was back up. This world wasn’t the best place for lovers to nestle under the starry sky. Especially not when one of the lovers was made of more steel than flesh.

 

The sun was high up when Charlotte spoke :

“You were right.”

“Yeah, I was.” He didn’t mean to sound grim but he did. He shouldn’t have let his guards down.

“I don’t want to live like this, always looking over my shoulder,” she looked younger than she usually did. Her voice was wavering, she looked like the pale frail sister of the woman who had fought by his side,”I’m careful when I’m traveling alone but… I don’t want to live in fear.”

“You shouldn’t be. You handled it perfectly,” he shot her a look, “and as long as you’re with me or Miles, you’re safe.” If he could smack his own face without looking like a complete idiot, he’d do it. There he was going back to that warm and gooey place. He was rewarded by the return of Charlie Matheson the menace of the Monroe Republic, with her shoulders straight and her chin high.

“With you and Miles? Sure… I’m not so good in math according to Aaron but I’m pretty sure most of the time I get in trouble, I’m with one of you idiots.“ Her smile was infectious. It hurt to keep his from showing. 

“Somehow, I’m not so convinced : you’re a little danger-prone. Either way… We’ve got to be careful. I shouldn’t have let my guards down. It won’t happen again.“ His eyes were on the road again. It really won’t happen again.

As they went on walking, the terror that had made his throat constrict was slowly wearing out. He hadn’t been so scared in years… It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was vowing to never ever sleep during his watch, at least not while Charlie Matheson was sleeping next to him. 

It wasn’t because of her. He was a soldier, he always kept his word and duty. Duty, that was all.. Right? The rest? The feelings, the heart warming gazes, they were just a distraction that was proving once more to be a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, Bass... King of convincing himself he doesn't need Charlie and they're better off alone. Do you think Charlie agrees ? Do you think he's really convinced ? Maybe he needs Miles to warn him off his niece again and he'll overcome that fear of his ;) (not saying it's going to happen)
> 
> Once more, thank you for reading and thanks for the support!


	5. Face it head on or run away

As they neared the outskirts of the town, Bass could feel a chill on his back. He looked around, there was no one hiding behind the trees. The feeling would’t leave him, as if a snake was chasing him. Something was up. They walked past an abandoned hangar with private jets. The fuckers who could afford that must have been the first ones to go. Charlie halted and pointed at an old poster almost falling of the wall.

Here he was, in all his President Monroe glory. An old propaganda photograph with a red target painted on it.

“Right… I guess I’m persona non grata.“ Charlie nodded and added :

“You can wait. I’ll go and check it out. I’m sure it doesn’t require both of us. I’ll come and get you if I need help.“

“I kinda doubt this… You and your Matheson bravado.“ She made a face and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Okay. So let’s do it this way. If I don’t show up by sundown, you can come and find me. I promise I’m just going to look around and if there’s something weird… We’ll go from there. Ok?“

He considered her seriously, it wasn’t bad plan. Charlie was smart enough to smell trouble before it hit her in the face. The previous day’s adventures had left a weight in his stomach but if there was something he believed in, these days, it was her.

“Okay. But at the first sign of trouble…“

“I promise.“ She smiled and before he could see it coming, a kiss landed on his cheek. He turned his face to kiss her properly. He pulled away reluctantly but firmly. There will be more time for this later. She shrugged and walked away.

He watched her leave. Once she was out of his line of vision he started to look around to find a place to wait for her. Not too obvious, but not too hidden. Maybe he should have just gone with her… but he knew she was strong enough, smart enough to handle this.

 

He went to the other side of the hangar where the gutted planes were still waiting for their owners. He thought about good old Aaron. For guys like Aaron the blackout had been a disaster, for men like him? An opportunity. He saw something move in the reflection of the metallic door. Someone was behind him. He turned around, his gun in his hand, ready to face whatever was awaiting him.

A bunch of men dressed up in old military camouflage, alongside a few younger guys wearing his own Militia’s uniform were all staring bullet into him.

“Well, well, what do we have here? You’re the welcoming committee ?“

He knew what he had to do, he knew every move by heart… But wasn’t he getting kinda old for this? All that mattered was to get it done before Charlie showed up.

The first man went down under his fist. His sword was a few feet away with his pack. Damn it. The second one wast first punched in the throat and shot at point blank. The stench of death was think around him. The beast within was rising again, panting and yearning for blood. But before he could go on in his rampage something hit him hard on the head and he was out.

 

When he came to, he was on his knees, hands were tied behind his back. He was really getting too old for this.

“Sebastian Monroe. You are going to pay for all the crimes you committed.“

“For my sweet Marissa.“

“For my kids…“

“For my childhood.“

Yeah, yeah he knew the litany by heart by now. Maybe it was time. Connor was gone, his loved ones were gone… And Charlie? She was tough, she’d get over him. He wasn’t giving up. He was already dead. Wasn’t this what he had been taught when he was a marine. He was already dead. Or was there still that stubborn voice in his head willing him to survive against all odds?

“Ok sure. Get on with it. Haven’t got the whole day.“ Fuck, why couldn’t they kill him before Charlie was back? It’d be easier on everyone. She’d think he left. It would be easier. The man standing a few feet away aimed at him, his finger on the trigger.

“Fuck. What are you? Is this amateur hour?“

So that was how it all ended. It was only fair that his own former soldier would have him. His hands snaked against the restraints but they were too tight. A few more twisting and maybe… His eyes were on the gun. He didn’t want to go down looking away. Death was finally here, he was going to face it head on. The restraints gave away from all this tugging. His hands were free.

There was a bustle and he saw her behind them. He shook his head. Get out of here, he willed his eyes to say But Charlie’s voice was cutting through the hush:

“No!“

His eyes closed. It wasn’t over. This was not the time to die for Sebastian Monroe. Not when she was standing there. His gaze went from her face to the others. His executioner finally focused on him. Charlie’s gun was trained on him but the man was still aiming at Bass.

“Drop your gun. Now.“ Her voice could make knees vacillate and mountains crumble. Not today. Bass was ready to spring into action but another man was pouting his gun at Charlie.

Someone pulled the trigger. The sound was deafening. The bullet was like a body slamming against him, blood pouring out… He opened his eyes. He had rolled down, Charlie was over him, and blood was trickling in his mouth, her blood. A surge of rage went through his body like a bullet. He jumped to his feet and one by one, those sorry asses went down. When he was done, he heard a soft voice behind him :

“I’m next?“ Charlie. The rage ebbed and he turned around. Her shirt was soaked in blood. He kneeled down to look at her wound. She was bleeding too much but she was smiling. Infuriating woman.

“Come on. Gotta leave before the rest of the cavalry shows up.“ He shoved her pack In his bigger back before sliding, he grabbed his emergency kit from the smaller pocket of his bag. He found a strip of cloth to tie around Charlie’s arm. It wasn’t much but it was the best he could do at the moment.

“Can you walk?“ She nodded and stood up shakily. They left the hangar, he held her uninjured arm but she was staggering.

As gently as he could, he picked up Charlie. She was bleeding too much but he couldn’t wait for anyone else to show up.

As he walked as fast as he could, he cursed Miles’ budgeting. What kind of Sherif doesn’t have a fucking horse? No more missions without a horse, he swore to himself as sweat trickles down to the corner of his eyes and Charlie whimpered when he jostled her. Aiming all his anger at Miles made the journey go faster.

 

It was dark when he finally decided to stop. He made sure he was far from the road when he finally set Charlie down. She was breathing hard, but had been out of conscious for a while now. He lit a fire with the branches and twigs he found nearby. He couldn’t go too far. The fire was roaring as he peeled Charlie’s shirt off, his gaze fixed on the angry wound still seeping blood. The makeshift bandage he had rolled around her arm was soaked. He gently stripped it away. Now the hard part was awaiting him. He pulled out the strip of leather from his emergency kit and slid it between Charlie’s lips and teeth.  
He checked the knife he had left to toast in the fire. It should be ready. He picked it up with his hand wrapped in his jacket.

“This is going to hurt Charlotte. I’m sorry.“ She was too far gone to hear him but her scream could have awaken the dead when he used the scalding blade to cauterize her wound. It was the only way.

They were lucky it was a trough and through, or else he’d be playing surgeon in the middle of nowhere.

He dug deeper in his first aid kit and he found a flask Aaron had gifted him. There was still some alcohol left. He lifted Charlie’s head and let the cool liquid trickle into her mouth. That was the only comfort he could offer her tonight, that and his lap to pillow her head. He sat there, watching the shadows, waiting for the first light of dawn to go on. He was scared she wasn’t strong enough to handle more jostling so soon after her surgery.

Dawn came slowly. They were on the road before the first bird started to chirp. The only thought that kept him going was that AARP and Rachel would take good care of Charlie, she’ll be fine: She won’t die, she couldn’t die.

He kicked the door of the farmhouse and was met with a bewildered Miles who rushed to take Charlie from his arms.

“What the fuck happened ?“

“It was a trap.“ Bass muttered but his attention was caught by Charlie’s eyes fluttering open. Their gaze met. He could hear Rachel and Gene but all he could see was Charlie’s eyes. He wished they were alone and he could kiss her forehead, tell her it was going to be ok. But he was surrounded by Mathesons and he was being pushed out of the way. He caught Gene’s arm :

“It was a through and through. I cauterized it… But she lost a lot of blood. I did everything…“ Rachel cut him with a cool voice :

“You did enough.“ She gestured towards the door. He hesitated but Miles and Gene were rushing to the room Gene used for his patient. Rachel was behind them, slamming the door shut. He waited a few minutes before he turned on his heels.

 

He made his way to Charlie’s place, unlocked the door and took out her pack from his. There was a box of items he kept under the couch, he emptied it in his bag. He looked around, wanting to remember every nook and cranny. He stopped at the kitchen and looked at the dirty dishes. There was still some water in the water dispenser. As he washed the dishes, he could feel a bitter taste in his mouth. But it was really for the best. Charlie had taken a bullet for him. She was hurt, he got her hurt… As easily as how he had decimated her whole family. He placed his favorite mug on the rack and closed his eyes to really see the first time he had seen her. Brave and spunky Charlie asking to be shot. Magnificent, noble Charlie. How many times he had begged God or whatever to be taken instead of his family? And now, she had saved him. As if, he was part of her family, part of the people she felt loyalty for, that she loved. The thought made his eyes open.

He picked up his bag, and locked the door behind him. He’ll give the key back when she gets better. His feet took him to the bar. He settled in a corner, away from the crowd . One drink after the other, none can take away that horrible knot in his throat. Where would he go now? He was pondering on the question when Aaron appeared in front of him.

“Hey! You’re back? How did it go? Charlie told me she’d bring me a…“

And his throat constricted even more, as if a noose was tightening around it :

“She got shot, “ he saw Aaron’s face drain out of life and he quickly added, “I think she’ll be ok. Lost a lot of blood though…“

“Then, why are you here? Shouldn’t you be…“

“Shouldn’t I be what?“ He liked Stay Puft but his concern made him want to slam him against a wall. But he was Charlie’s family, and he couldn’t count how many times this man had saved him from a stupid bar brawl, so he kept his hands around his glass.

“She’s with her family. They don’t need me. I’m …“ He kicked his bag. Aaron looked at him and looked away, and then his gaze focused on him again :

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I’ve got some pretty rowdy and violent neighbors. They’ve thrown stuff at my windows. And… Well guys like me.. Let’s just say they don’t really take me seriously. Was thinking about telling Miles to drop in but…“ He said it in one breath, reminding Bass of Charlie.

“Ok I’ll go rough them up,“ now that was a true friend : offering him someone to hit when he truly needed it.

“In exchange, you can stay at my place.“ Aaron’s offer made his jaw fall. Yes, there was some sort of camaraderie between them, and whenever Charlie was concerned, they were always on the same side. But this? Not even Miles would want to offer him a place to stay, at this point.

“Why?“

“I’m scared of many things. Charlie’s the first one of them. She’ll have my skin if I don’t do it. Come on.“

Bass looked regretfully around him. Another drink would have soothed him just fine… But maybe it was better to stop now, before everything became blurry. And well, wasn’t Aaron offering him a nice punching ball and a bed to boot?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I went there. Poor Charlie... Wouldn't be the first time I get her hurt. 
> 
> And yes, Bass seems to blame himself. 
> 
> How long do you think Charlie will let him hide? And how long can he stay away from her?
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	6. Not without a fight

Trouble was that Bass missed Charlie. He had taken over her duties at the Sheriff’s. Receiving the messengers, sending reports as well as his usual duties. He had taken a particular pleasure at hunting down a bunch of looters. It had taken some of the pressure off his shoulders. But he couldn’t sleep. They had barely slept side by side, and he was already missing the feel of her body. He was missing knowing she was safely tucked in the other room. Or it was just because Aaron snored like a wood-saw. Yeah, that must be it.

Alcohol helped when he felt too sorry for himself to face anyone. He tucked in Aaron’s secret stash of moonshine. Disgusting; but it did the trick. And yet he could still hear her. It wasn’t working, he needed to be comatose or something.

“Open the fucking door you moron!”

“Charlotte?” He could hear someone banging on the door. Aaron was out and this wasn’t his voice. That was her voice, the same that haunted him at night. Her scream of pain, her repressed whimpering as he carried her back.

“Open the door or I’ll..” He stood up and opened the door. He was faced with a flushed face Charlie with eyes full of venom, resembling her mother. No. She was not Rachel Matheson. She was so much more.

“Shouldn’t you be resting or something? Where’s your family?”

Charlie sat down at the table and pointed at the bottle of moonshine :

“Pour.”

“You’re recovering… Not sure it’s the best thing.”

“That was weeks ago! Not you too, they’re already driving me crazy. And besides, you owe me.”

He poured the drink but his hand was shaking. He felt suddenly very cold.

“For what?”

“For…. For leaving! What the hell was that? You left. All your stuff is gone and you didn’t come visit me… Not even once.” She downed her glass. He took a deep breath. He didn’t dare look into her eyes as he spoke again.

“I got you shot.”

She stared at him over her glass long enough to force him to meet her gaze, “You? It was a trap. You couldn’t have known. Besides, it was my decision.” He couldn’t look away but he couldn’t speak either. What her eyes were saying was beyond what his mouth could utter. Her decision. Her decision was to take a bullet for him? A lifetime ago, Miles would have done the same. But it’s been a while since anyone else had done it. And Charlotte? Brave warrior Charlotte? How did he earn such a fucking honor?

He poured her another glass, this time his hand was steady. And he could see clearly how she had thinned down, and her skin lacked her usual healthy luster. Back in the days, blood loss was easily dealt with. Nowadays blood transfusion was a hazardous experiment and he was relieved Gene had preferred to refrain from it. He cleared his throat :

“That’s your last glass so enjoy it. Yeah I’m cutting you off. “

“You’re no fun.” She was smiling and he couldn’t breathe.

“Have you looked at yourself lately?” He tried to keep his voice light. After all this intense staring, he wasn’t sure either of them could handle more. And besides, she didn’t need to know about his hidden demons. She shrugged. There was a lull in their conversation. He heard a dog bark. Aaron’s rowdy neighbors had taken in a dog ever since a crazy Monroe had showed up at their doorstep. Charlie was looking at him again, he could feel her gaze on his face. He looked back. Her eyes were piercing his, asking, demanding; he wanted to look away and dash out.. But he couldn’t. Her eyes kept him in his place, made him sit straight and kept him grounded.

“Why did you leave?” Her voice was low now, gentle. She looked younger than she usually did. Insecure. His Charlotte was never insecure, she was a force of nature.

“Your mom. They all said you needed their help.. And space from me.” He tried but even to his own ears it sounded fake. Since when was he scared of Rachel? Since when did he accept a closed door?

Charlie slammed her fists on the table, startling him out of his self pitying mood. Gone was the vulnerable girl, and here was the woman who had made his empire crumble.

“General Sebastian Monroe. Since when do you give a fuck about what they say?”

“Since you,“ His voice burnt his throat. Her blue eyes were burning holes in his, forcing him to say it… To say all those things he couldn’t even admit to himself. He went on, his voice even lower, his gaze still captured in hers :

“Since I carried you for hours bleeding and hurting… For a bullet you took for me. Since you almost died Charlotte.“ He kept the other words for himself, he could still hear her scream as he pushed the burning blade against her wound. He looked away, hoping his face wasn’t giving away the guilt he felt, nor the terror that still coursed in his veins. He wasn’t afraid. He was already dead; he was a soldier.

“You could have died. And I couldn’t do anything to stop that.“ Helpless, vulnerable, yes this is what love made you feel. Did he love her? He looked at her again, paler than usual but with that same defiant glint in her eyes and that chin lifted to show the world she was tougher than she looked; love? He couldn’t look away once more.

“That’s not true. Grandpa said that it could have been much worse without your fist aid. You knew your stuff. You saved me… Like you always do. Now you have to save me again from going completely insane and killing my own family.”

Her words were like a healing balm. He had been carrying the guilt for so many days. It had woken up old wounds, old guilts. He still couldn’t believe she didn’t blame him for Ben or Danny. There was something miraculous about Charlotte Matheson in how she forgave and overcame.

“Why are you smiling? I’m mad at you. You promised you wouldn’t leave unless I pushed you.” And here was her indignant tone. There was a time her tone would have made him flinch, remind her of who he was. When did it change? Maybe when her words changed. Now, all he could hear was her heartbeat.

“I’m sorry Charlotte.” Eye to eye, they understood each other. He leaned forward, until their foreheads were touching and he could feel her breath on his face. Love? He didn’t know. But feeling her so close felt like home. His lips were brushing against hers. He had missed her soft lips, her demanding mouth.

There was an urgent knock at the door, they pulled apart and Miles peered in :

“Bass, Charlie’s mi…. Oh there you are. Charlie, everyone’s looking for you and is worried sick. You’re still on the mend.” He looked from one face to the other, trying to understand what was in front of him. When it came to relationships, Miles wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

“You’re one to talk…” Charlie never missed one. They all knew how uncooperative Miles could be when it came to taking care of himself. Miles rolled his eyes as he took in the bottle of moonshine and the empty glasses.

“Okay,” he sat down next to Charlie, “you’ve got more of that stuff?” Bass nodded and went to retrieve another bottle and a glass. At least Miles wasn’t acting all weird about finding Charlie here.

“Good that you’re here Miles. Bass is officially moving in today. In fact, this will no longer be known as my place but our place. Kindly tell Rachel about it.” Bass was still rummaging in Aaron’s messy kitchen cabinets, so he couldn’t see Miles’ face but he could very well imagine it. A lesser men would have been irritated at Charlie for taking charge but it made Bass smile. Their place, their home.. Together. What the hell had happened to him? To her? What kind of miracle was this? Something he had stopped wishing for a long long time ago.

“Charlie…” signed Miles. He sounded tired : why wouldn’t he? Even one hour with Rachel was exhausting.

“This isn’t up for discussion. I just want you to tell my mom. I just can’t. She’s going to say the usual stuff and I just can’t.” Bass had located the bottle and was once more facing both Mathesons. Miles was looking at him but his gaze was devoid of venom. This was his old friend, trying to understand his latest move. He looked curious, like when Bass had suddenly decided that he wanted to move to Alaska. Well, that was really a long time ago. As if the things that happened after, the things they did when they were both adults were gone. And they were once more Monroe & Matheson, two friends, two brothers. Was it even still possible?

“So the thing between you two, it’s for real?”

Bass’ gaze went back to Charlie’s and she smiled, he nodded :

“Yeah. I know how you feel about that. But like Charlotte said, it’s not up to discussion. It’s between us. You guys just need to butt out.”

Miles let out a dry laugh :

“This really doesn’t make sense. Back when you found me, Charlie, you were all about “Let’s kill Monroe” and all that. And then Danny.. Nora.. everything. What the hell happened?” His gaze darkened as he peered at Bass, “If I as much as smell something fishy, you’re dead Bass.”

“Come on Miles there’s nothing fishy. You don’t hear me questioning your relationship with my mother, your brother’s wife. Yeah, I also know about the affair.. And no Bass didn’t tell me. I’m just not an idiot. I don’t… We don’t need to explain anything to you.” He didn’t need more to imagine how Charlie had made Miles accept to go fight the Republic he had once built. He also knew she didn’t need help to fight her own battles.

He was startled by the soft touch of her hand over his. He carefully looked at Miles. This was the first time either of them were engaging in public display of affection.

“Bass, take a walk. I need to talk to my niece alone.” No the past hadn’t vanished into thin air. All the betrayals, the anger and the destruction still made the air thick between them, likes ashes after a volcanic eruption.

“Come on Miles!” both of then cried in unison but Miles wouldn’t budge from his request. Bass ended up going out, wandering through town and trying to ignoring that tingling in his back. It wouldn’t be the first time Miles tried to hurt him behind his back. But he trusted her, his Charlotte. She had come back to him even when had gotten her hurt again. She was pulling him back, fully committing.

It was too good to be true, too intense to end up well. He didn’t like leaving her with Miles. He knew what his friend would do. Remind her of Emma, tell her about his womanizing past, his tendency to do stupid things out of loyalty. But somehow, he still had faith, Charlie had seen the very worst of him and yet she had chosen him.

He roamed around and ended up in the main square.

“What are you doing staring at this fountain? Go get your stuff. I’m starving. I haven’t had decent food in weeks.” Charlie was standing there, next to Miles. She was still beaming at him but she did look pale and tired.

“I’ll hurry.”

It felt good to know that she was waiting. He picked up his bag from the foot of Aaron’s couch. He found a piece of paper to write a note but as soon as he started to write, his heart started to race. He left the piece of paper on table, there would be time to tell Aaron. He almost ran to Charlie, their place. She was there, sitting on the couch, wrapped up under a knitted shawl.

“Miles just left. Poor thing, mom is going to chew him up.” He nodded at her words, dropped his bag and went to stand over her. Even now, seeing her pale and uncomfortable made him uneasy but she was still here. His hand found her left shoulder and squeezed it. He went to the kitchen and found a pot full of a stale smelling soup, probably made by Rachel. He pushed it in a corner as he started to cut the carrots and the beetroot.

“Cat got your tongue Sebastian?” He realized that he hadn’t spoken in a long time. He realized that ever since Charlie had barged in Aaron’s place, he had just followed her suite. Words were stuck in his throat.

Of course she’d be worried. One moment they were kissing like long lost lovers, and were announcing they were a couple and the next, he couldn’t breathe properly.

He remembered Aaron had gotten him nutmeg from who knew where, and it would be perfect for his soup. He found his bag, but as he looked for the small vial, one of the pouch fell out. The whole content emptied on the kitchen floor : his dog tags, his parents rings, old faded pictures of his family and a coin his sister had gotten him as a joke from her trip to Canada.

As he scrambled to gather his things, his fingers connected to his parents’ rings. Shelly. He could still remember how delighted she had been with the rings he gotten her instead of his mother’s wedding band and engagement ring. How brightly she had smiled. Her smile rarely leaving her face until she was gone. Yeah. In a flash, she was gone forever. And the rings they had exchanged were buried with her. Carefully, he replaced the items in the pouch and went back to work at the counter.

 

The soup was bubbling on the dove when he turned around to check on Charlie, her eyes were closed. She must be sleeping, he tried to remind himself. And yet, he still went to check. He sat down next to her, pulling her closer, until her head rested on his chest. It was all coming back. There was a reason he had avoided any real emotional intimacy with women during his days as president. Sex had been a meaningless thing. But Charlie’s announcement to Miles was everything, and so much more. Something he had lost with Shelly. A sense of homecoming. Yeah, with Shelly he had lost his home. He had tried to build another one, a different one with his brother but Miles couldn’t. Now there was Charlie who had drawn him in.  
And he couldn’t breathe. She had outrun him, tackled him and now they were both on the ground of a very new world.

“What’s wrong?” Charlie asked in a sleepy voice. She looked up at him. She was so close, he could see her eyelashes and her lips looked so enticing. Her scent wrapped around him. She still needed to mend or else, his soup would soon be forgotten. Everything would be forgotten but the feel of her against him. Instead, he took a deep breath in under her watchful gaze.

“What did Miles tell you?”

“Miles? He just wanted to make sure you were not messing with my head or something. He wanted to tell me about your past but I’d rather you told me. Is it really bad? Did you kill your ex or something?”

She was smiling but he couldn’t. How close she was to the truth. And now, as he saw her smile falter, he knew he had to tell her everything.

“Did you? I mean other than…“ He was glad she didn’t say Emma’s name.

“Yes.. No. It’s not like that, Charlotte.” She had stiffened but she hadn’t moved away from him. And the face she offered him was still full of trust. He had no idea how he had earned that trust.

“After the blackout… Before the republic. We were staying with a couple of survivors. A whole camp… I met her there. “ He looked away to conjure up a charming Shelly. He had no idea who truly made the first move. She had always said he might have been the one to ask her out for a walk but she had been the one to pick him first.

“We got married.. Or whatever was called marriage back then. We were happy, In love, I guess. Miles wanted to start some kind of military operation against the other camps but I was too happy. It was…” He could feel his eyes filling up, “She got pregnant. We were so stupid.. Foolish. Didn’t think anything bad could happen. But it did. I. She died in my arms… So yeah, it was my fault. I should have thought.” His throat was drier than the Sahara, and Charlie was quiet. He finally looked at her, there were tears on her cheeks. Were they his tears or hers?

“I’m sorry Bass. I didn’t know.”

“I never told you. After that… It’s a blur. I became General Monroe. I was sick of all this.. The suffering, living in camps… The dirt. People dying like flies. But turns out even a president can’t stop people from dying or leaving.”

He had closed his eyes. Her eyes were too bright, to full of feelings for him right now. Her empathy was painful. He felt her fingers brush against his cheek, gathering up his tears. He didn’t know he could still cry for Shelly. He hadn’t for years. He felt her move against him and her lips brushing against his.

He kissed her softly, reigning a rush of lust and passion. Her lips were also gentle against his, his arms clasping him close as she moved to his lap. They pulled away, breathing evenly and together. She was looking at him with sad eyes.

“That’s why you are so scared.” She mused, and went on in the same low voice, “I thought you didn’t trust me. I got it wrong. I can’t promise I won’t die. But I won’t leave without a fight.”

It humbled him. Yes, he was scared. He was terrified. It was pathetic and yet, when she said it it made him stronger. She knew his darkness, the scared boy who lost everything and she wasn’t mocking him or pushing him away. Instead, she was holding him, letting him hold her.

“I’ll keep you to that promise.”

“You have to promise too, Bass. Be careful. I’ve.. I don’t have many people left.”

“I will. And now, you need that soup. Weeks of Rachel’s cooking? That, I can protect you from.”

He made her enough soup, every day for her to grow sick of it. But he never missed a single meal, and refused when Miles wanted to send him for a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's always risky when I have to make Bass open up and show his vulnerable side. How to make him vulnerable without turning him into a 'puppy holding a kitten'? 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. The road ahead of them is still long but at least, they have made some progress. And, good old Miles is also doing his best.


	7. Like a choir boy

Charlie stretched from head to toe. The bed creaked as she sat up. Her hand traced the bed frame. It was old. It belonged to that widow.. What was her name?The woman had cried, saying she couldn’t bear this bed now that her husband was gone. The Stadlers… Her name was Amelia Stadler.  
At first, it felt weird because they knew the Stadlers but soon it became their bed. She tilted her head as she listened intently to the silent house : Bass wasn’t back yet.

They had a new recruit to train. The man often came to eat with them and she’d give him pointers. And in the early morning, Charlie trained with Bass but it was hard to find her dexterity back. Her grandfather had promised it would in time but she needed to be patient. She hated to be patient. Bass was also playing hard to get, she had told him enough time that since she was cleared for training, she was cleared for other activities but he wouldn’t budge. And it was becoming increasingly difficult to sleep in the same bed as him, she had no idea how he managed. Maybe that would explain all those midnight runs…

She heard the door slam open.

“... No. No. No. This is not how it works. Come on Howie. I told you three times.”

“Yeah I’m sorry.”

“Sure, Just light the fire. I’ll be back.” 

He peered in the bedroom, looking disheveled and tired.

“Finally, thought you’d never come. Why don’t you send your boyfriend for an errand.” Charlie pushed away the covers, “I’ve been thinking about you.”

“How was your nap?”

“Great but now I’m starving.”

“See, that’s why we have to wait. You still need to nap.”

“Come on Monroe…” She rolled her eyes.

“You never call me Monroe.” That devilish twinkle in his eyes! Damn this man!

“Unless I’m mad at you.” They were laughing together. This seemed far more miraculous than their kisses or the prospect of having sex. She wouldn’t have believed it if someone had told her that one day she would be laughing with Sebastian Monroe and not at him.

“I can live with that. Ready for supper?”

“I’m ready for dessert but I guess I can settle…” No amount of persuasion worked on him. He was adamant that she had to get better. That didn’t mean she’d stop pestering him.

Later they were sitting around the table with Howie. The young man was on his best behavior. Charlie’s eyes were fixed on Bass, following every single of his move. She seemed to be possessed. She knew it wasn’t because she hadn’t been with anyone for a while now.

It was all about him.

How his hands handled his spoon or his fingers drummed on the table. His overgrown curls, the soft mustache he sported and the bristle of his unshaven cheeks, french beard. His eyes sometimes found hers, making her shiver to her core. They had been circling this moment for far too long, she was going insane. He had unbuttoned the first two rows of buttons of his shirt, revealing a glimpse of his chest.

“Err.. Charlie?” She snapped her head to face Howie and realized he was staring at her, “I didn’t mean to pry.. I’m sorry.”

“What?“ 

“He asked you twice if Miles was your father.” Bass added with a devilish smile. Her cheeks warmed up, he knew, the bastard knew where her mind was at.

“Oh sorry.. Napping in the late afternoon wasn’t a great idea. No, Miles’ my uncle. My dad is… I lost him a while back.”

“Sorry to hear that. It’s just that both of you sometimes do things the same way.”

“Well, we’re related.” She offered him a distracted smile. Bass had gotten up and was cutting some bread. Even his fully clad backside was attracting her attention. Tall, lean and muscular.. That was how she’d describe him if she had a girl friend to gush with. Her hands went around her glass but she could almost feel his taunt muscles beneath her hands.

When he turned around, she captured his gaze. When words had been a barrier between them, their eyes had always communicated something else. Those shared looks had drawn both of them to this edge of a new world. And now, she conjured all the lust boiling in her to her eyes. Her teeth anchored on her lower lip.

She was satisfied when she saw him take a deep breathe, his eyes all over her; the slices of bread crumbling into his hands and littering the floor.

“Howie? Y’done with your food?” In a few hurried step he was hovering over the visibly surprised young man, “here take some bread to go.” Howie looked at both of them, and realized his presence wasn’t required anymore. He picked up his jacket and took hold of what was left of the slices of bread and rushed out. He didn’t even say goodbye. Good thing the Monroe persona still scared people shitless. 

Charlie crossed her arms over her chest as Bass leaned against the wall. They were finally alone. 

“Where were we?” She stood up, unfolding her arms and facing him. His eyes found hers and it was like a spark that set a wildfire. She crossed the distance between them, and her lips found his, claiming him. As they parted, she sighed. Her fingertips travelled from his cheeks to his neck, pulling at his collar.

“Hey, hey… Slow down. That’s a new shirt.”

She smirked and tilted her head to look at his mesmerizing eyes again.

“I didn’t know Sebastian Monroe was a shy virgin.”  
“I’ll show you…” He was on her again, his lips insisting and his mouth opening. He held her tightly against him, his hand traveling to her hips. He lifted her up to the counter, her legs went around his waist as his lips claimed hers again. His tongue brushed against hers, her fingers tugging his curls. His shirt was on the floor, followed by hers. 

He kissed the hollow of her neck, the crest of her breast. His breath making her shiver. She had waited for this for far too long. She took hold of his shoulders, warm and strong under her hands. Her fingers digging into him as a moan escaped her parted lips. 

Their clothes were scattered around the kitchen as they made their way to their bedroom for round two. After all, the bed had suffered long enough through many nights of frustration.

They were lying against each other, Bass on his back and Charlie on her side. Her hair tumbling around her and her hands still lost in his skin. Her right hand stopped at his burnt arm.

“You don’t have it anymore… I still got my brand.”

He took her wrist in his hands and kissed it softly.

“Why d’you keep it?”

“I didn’t want it.. But it’s like a scar. Reminds me of that time on the road.” She didn’t mention Maggie, Danny or Nora. There was no point to make him feel guilty again. She couldn’t go back to their resting places so she carried them on her skin, with his initial. Her voice still held a tremor she she joked :

“Thought burning off all my skin would look uglier.“

He knew anyway. She could see it in his light blue eyes. There was a softness in his face she had only witnessed when he was asleep. He reached for her shoulder and he traced her latest scar. It was no longer inflamed, it was slowly becoming part of her body. Was he shivering?

“I didn’t hurt you?”

“Sebastian Monroe you were as gentle as a choir boy.” His eyes darkened again, but his smile grew :

“Just you wait Charlotte… As soon as you’re better…” It was more of a growl than a whisper. She kissed him lightly on the lips. He had been very gentle, sometimes too gentle for her own taste. 

They were getting to know each other. She hadn’t had that luxury in her previous relationships or bedmates. It was always a rush to satisfy a basic need but with Bass it was something more. Usually, with her lovers sex was the culminating point. After that, it was goodbye or see you next time. With him, it was like a building blocks. She looked at him in wonder. How did this man inspire such thoughts? 

“You better keep to that promise because I’m not going to settle for…“ His lips covered hers in a hungry kiss. That was more than enough to seal this promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay in posting this installment. 
> 
> I've been struggling with my original writing along other things. And it made me miss my posting schedule... Hopefully it won't happen again.
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you like this. It's short but... I guess it's rather important.
> 
> Next chapter will be longer. I'll try to post it before the end of this week.
> 
> Happy 4th of July to my american readers.


	8. Into the fray

Charlie plunged her head into the deliciously cool water. Bass hands were splayed over her waist. It was easy to forget everything in this soothing haven. She came up for air and turned around. The water barely came to her chin. She smiled at the man towering over her, he pulled her close, his hard naked body against hers. 

“Nice spot.“

“Thought you’d like it.“ He kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth. She could feel him hardening again. One thing was certain, Bass had the stamina of a young man. It was barely morning and he was ready for round two.

“Should go back before Miles starts to look for us…“ She whispered as they pulled apart. He made a face and his hands fell away from her body. They made their way back to the bank where their clothes were waiting for them. They were fully dressed when Charlie reached for Bass to kiss him again, her hands cradling his neck, her thumbs in his curls.

“He won’t mind if…“

“You sure you want him to find us…“ She made a face at his words and pulled away. They made their way back to the Sheriff’s office, stopping now and then to kiss. Her hair had almost dried by the time they reached their destination.

“What’ve you got?“ Asked Bass a soon as they walked in. Miles looked up from his stack of papers.

“They need us to check out some weird activities in Burton. Drugs, weapon smuggling… Something like that.“

“Nice.“ Charlie grinned as she looked at both men. She was was officially back on the field but neither felt very enthusiastic about it. 

“It’s a two men job. You can hold the fort.“ Miles offered drily. She could see the relief in Bass’ face, probably because he wouldn’t be the aim of her wrath.

“Great. Bass and I can go. You can catch up with your paperwork.“ Charlie had already taken hold of her bow and sword.

“Come on Charlie…“

“No. You come on.“ She looked at Bass but he averted her gaze, “coward,“ she hissed. He shrugged.

Miles was already out of the door but Bass lingered, almost looking apollogitical. 

“Yeah, yeah.. We’ll see tonight. You might find the couch more comfortable.“ She gave him a dark look. He looked back at her this time, his gaze making her shake to her core. He crossed the distance between them and their lips met for a brief kiss.  
With a smile he was gone. The cocky bastard.. He knew very well she couldn’t resist him. 

Yeah, but he hadn’t seen an angry Charlie before. She huffed as she paced around. Oh wait, actually he had, hadn’t he? Well, Monroe should remember how his republic went down in flames.

She was once more stuck in that office for the whole day. This morning’s good mood had evaporated like the morning dew. 

She stared out of the window at a bird bringing little twigs and dried leaves to build a nest. Every trip was careful. Strange how they managed to build such pretty nests with only a beak to help them. She looked back at the report on her desk. Miles had as usual written with lots of abbreviations, the stains on the pages and the horrible handwriting told her that he had been drinking while he was writing. 

She pushed the report away, knocking down her glass of water.

“Damn it!”

When she had cleared up the mess, the bird had flown away. It made her uneasy, the sight of this almost finished nest irritated her. She had been irritated all week. She looked at the calendar on the wall and it didn’t help. Nothing settled the unease in her. And she couldn’t drink. Fuck, she was screwed. She hadn’t told Bass, nor anyone else. She didn’t dare to go to the doctor, her mother and her grandfather. Miles? He’ll freak. Maybe Aaron would be the perfect confident, all though, she wasn’t sure how well he’d take the news.

How stupid had they been! Like idiotic teenagers who didn’t know better. She was screwed. Really screwed. And she couldn’t think about it, at all. What usually helped was to talk it out. She had tried with a tree in the outskirts of town, but it didn’t help. Aaron would have to do.

She took out a piece of scrap paper and bent down to write but she felt silly about doing it. They lived in a village. If she weren’t home, Aaron’s would be the second place to look for her. As for Texas, they could do whatever they wanted, she was in no mood to deal with them. 

She knocked at Aaron. She knew that he was mostly hanging around the house, reading, when he was not teaching in the mornings.

“Hey Charlie! What’s up? Want a drink?” Of course, Aaron would be sitting at his table with a bottle of his secret moonshine and a comic book. The walls were covered with dusty books, and the kitchen counter with bottles. It smelled like him : safe and familiar.

“I can’t. I’m pregnant.” And as soon as the word came out, she felt her body relax. She sat down, Aaron staring at her as if she had sprouted another head.

“You’re what?”

“You heard me…”

“Does your mother.. Miles? Anyone? Last I heard you were recovering from your wound.”

Charlie sighed and look at his glass. One glass wouldn’t hurt? But a protectiveness she had only known when Danny was alive came over her. It wouldn’t hurt but what if it did? And then another thought made her close her eyes : what if she didn’t want to keep it?

“Well, that was way back. You haven’t been keeping tabs. I haven’t seen you recently.”

“You were busy… Oh no. No. Charlie! It’s Monroe’s?”

She rolled her eyes :

“Who else? We live together.. Thought you’d know as much.”

“I thought… I thought you guys were friends.”

She burst out laughing, it felt good. In fact, that was exactly what she needed. She didn’t have any friends here. They all seem so alien, clean and tidy. She only had her family. Aaron was part of that family but he was the less judgy part of it.

“You’re the first one I’m telling…”

“What about him?”

“What about him? It’s my body.. I haven’t decided what I want to do.” She made a face as she realized that there won’t be any private resolution of this situation. Even if she wanted to get rid of it, she’d have to go through the local doctor. Unless she went to another city but what would she tell Bass? Miles? Everyone?

“You should at least talk to him.”

She peered at him through narrowed eyes. She rested her chin on on her hand and let out a long sigh. She didn’t need to talk to Aaron, she needed to talk to Bass. She looked at Aaron’s jovial face. Why had she come to see him? Talk to someone, her instinct had told her. And Aaron was a last reminder of how life used to be.

“How do you feel Charlie? I mean.. I’m not really into talking about these things but since you’re here…” She smiled at her old friend. He was doing his best. Poor Aaron, he had always been doing his best.

“I don’t know. I never thought about it.. Having a kid. My own family.. The whole package.” Aaron was nodding, taking another gulp of whatever he was drinking. The glass was once more on the table in front of him. From the way he was adjusting his glasses, made her realize he had no idea what to say so she went on :

“But I love Bass... And I guess.. I guess I’m scared but I don’t want to get rid of it. At least, not right now. But it’s a huge thing. It’s going to grow into a child. Then what? Am I ready? I mean.. I did take care of Dan… him. And you saw how good that turned out?”

“Hey Charlie,“ his voice was warm like a comforter, “you can’t blame yourself for what happened.”

“I know.. But I remember how it was to stay up to listen to him breathing. It was terrifying. Rachel had left us… I thought he’d die too. And he did.” She was quiet again, her hands finding her flat belly. She didn’t even know much about how pregnancy worked. She knew the basics but it wasn’t like anyone had given her a lecture about it. She just knew how to avoid it. Clearly, she had failed at that.

“Did you want kids? Before the blackout?” She asked hesitantly. Aaron smirked :

“No. I was enjoying life way too much. I didn’t want a noisy smelly little thing making me miserable. Sorry about that.”

She nodded. She hadn’t wanted a kid but this was part of both Bass and her. It was part of the miracle that was their relationship. But was she ready for motherhood? Not really… But she hadn’t been ready to be an orphan either. Nor had she been ready for Bass. She was not a kid anymore. She loved Bass. This wasn’t like getting pregnant with one of the guys she had met along the road. Bass was part of that road, and they were building something… Weren’t they?  
Loved Bass? Had she admitted this aloud a few minutes earlier?

“What you said makes sense. About having to include Bass in this. And I should have gone to him first. It’s just so strange to think he’s now the most important person for my life… At least for now.” She tried to keep her tone light. 

“Oh don’t ask me to help you make sense of that. Both of you? I really didn’t see it coming. But that’s your thing.”

“I have to go.. Sorry for interrupting your afternoon Aaron.”

“No biggie Charlie. You can come anytime…” He was smiling again. She was glad she still had him in spite of everything. She gave him a hug before she rushed out of the door. At the Sherif’s doorstep, a young local farmer was waiting. He looked winded and sweaty.

“Hey Charlie.”

“HI Mathew. Everything’s ok?”

“No. I was hoping Miles or… Monroe were around. We’ve got a situation. I caught a looter. I’ve tied him down in my cellar…”

“Well done! Miles and Bass are out of town and if they are not back now that means they won’t before the evening. I can handle it. We’ve got a nice little cell waiting for him.”

“You? Are you sure?”

Charlie laughed, “trust me. I’ve seen and done worse. It’s just one guy. I’ll go get my stuff.”

She found her gun in her locked desk, her sword was on her waist and her knife in her boot. As they walked through town Mathew was musing on how the patriots had made a bad situation even worse. Charlie listened and nodded when he asked her if he was right. They crossed a stream, reminding Charlie of this morning interlude. She stifled a smile. When did she become that silly girl who missed her guy when he was just gone for a few hours?

As they neared the farmhouse, she recognized Mathew’s wife running towards them :

“He’s running away. He broke down the door!“

“Stay back. I’ll deal with this.“ Gone was Charlie’s smile.

She broke into a run, locating the runaway in the distance. She heard Mathew screaming something but her whole mind and body was focused on her prey. She went through the woods to find herself in a clearing facing a man twice her size. Her sword was out before any thought could make her flinch and she was on him. Everything was in control…

Until she herd a twig snap, and from the corner of her eyes she noticed another man, and another man and another one. Her opponent was bitting the dust but she was surrounded. Time to channel Miles and Monroe. She slashed and punched once her sword was gone. Her gun was useless at this range and was soon on the ground. The first punch took the breath out of her, the next one one made her head slam against a tree. Fuck.

She struggled against the man in front of her, and pulled out her knife. Slashed his throat and turned to the next one. Where did that other guy come from?  
Oh fuck. Miles was going to be pissed. And Bass? Not again…

That was her last thought as she rushed to meet the enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi dear readers!
> 
> I'm sorry for the wait. My original writing is taking a lot of my energy.  
> Don't worry, I won't let you wait too long after this cliffhanger.
> 
> So, we do agree that Charlie can kick some serious ass, don't we?
> 
> And yes, I went there... It's hard to write a romance with Bass without thinking about kids. Since, for Bass that was something that left a hollow in his heart. Charlie? Not so much. She barely had any time to think since she was thrown into this long adventure.
> 
> But now, at this point in my fic, let's see how she handles it.


	9. Hell or high water

Bass and Miles were back from Burton at nightfall. It turned out to be yet another wild goose chase. At least, it gave both men a few hours where they could throw jokes around.

The whole city was alight with chatter. Miles was going on and on about organizing patrols. It was like they had never become estranged. Since the first day they met as children, they were brothers in arms. It was a habit neither of them could kick.

“Sure. But where are we going to find the manpower?“ Bass had found that most people here thought life was still good. They often forgot the dangers of the post blackout world, to the joys of looters and low lives roaming about. Nobody would volunteer. He looked at the open windows and the children playing in front of their houses although it was nighttime. Every house they went by was full of light and laughter. 

Miles’ voice faded in the background noise as Bass realized that his house didn’t have a single light on. Usually, Charlie always lit a candle by the kitchen window even if she went to bed before him. He froze while Miles went on. 

“Bass?”

“No.. Nothing. You were saying?” He took a deep breath. Charlie had probably forgotten. She had been complaining about him keeping her up and making her tired. That was all. And yet he felt a cold shiver trickle down his back when he saw Aaron waiting on the porch. The dread made him snap :

“What happened? Where’s Charlie?” His voice was dead cold, he knew about the faces people made before delivering a bad news. He had a whole collection of them haunting his dreams.

“She’s ok now. She’s with Rachel.” Aaron explained.

Bass didn’t listen for more as he dashed to the Porter place. Miles was following him and quizzing Aaron but Bass couldn’t talk nor listen, some words made their way into his frazzled mind.

“... No some looters at Mathew’s… She didn’t see the other guys or something. I didn’t get the whole story. Gene has been working on her the whole afternoon… I think there were some… errr… Complication. But she’s on the mend now.”

Bass couldn’t stand the sound of Stay Puft’s voice. He barged into the house,

“Where is she?”

Rachel stood in his way, there was a glare in her eyes but it was quickly replaced by a blank look. His hands were on her shoulders, begging her :

“I swear to God if you don’t tell me…”

“She’s resting in my room. Bass. It’s a miracle she made it… but she lost it… I’m so sorry. She’s recovering but she should be fine for a short visit.” Rachel’s voice was gentle, she didn’t hold any of her icy cold rage. For once, he could almost see her as the good village doctor. She was talking to him like he was a human being. And yet, none of her words made sense.

“What? Lost what?” Her leg? Her arm? Her spleen? All the possibilities sent him reeling. He let go of Rachel and had to lean against the wall. He had to see Charlie now. He had to ascertain that she was truly still here. 

“Oh.. You didn’t know. So I guess that answers my questions.” Rachel took a step back, offering him enough space to make his way to the room. His throat was dry, and he could see details on the wallpaper in front of him : tiny blue flowers with daffodils, but her words didn’t reach him.

“ ‘ve got to see her.” 

“Go on in, she’s asleep.”

He opened the door and tiptoed to her bedside. Her face was pale and bruised. Her placed a hand on her cheek, and two fingers below her ear. There was a heartbeat. He collapsed on the chair next to the bed, his hand resting on her cheek. Charlie was alive. She was alive. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. As he watched her sleep, her breath coming in and out, Rachel’s words sunk in. From what he could see from over the covers, Charlie wasn’t missing a limb. Lost it? Lost what? What would make Rachel sound almost civil, as if this loss affected him. He saw Charlie’s eyelashes flutter and her lips part to let out a sigh. 

“Bass…“

“It’s ok, you’re fine.. You’re safe.”

“Bass.. was looking for you.” She mumbled. He saw her hands travel to her lower abdomen. His eyes closed. He took her hands in his. She didn’t know…

“You should rest some more, Charlotte.” Her fingers were twitching in his hands but he still held them firmly in his hands, “we can talk later.”

She offered him a tired smile as she drifted off again. He watched her face relax and he gently released her hands. He had no idea how long he just sat there watching her before something awoke in him. Another look on Charlie’s bruised and battered face was enough to fuel him. Her right eye was swelling up and the cuts on her face were enough to let him imagine how the rest of her body must look like.

He stood up and left the room, gently closing the door behind him. He walked passed Rachel and Gene, ignoring their voices and made a beeline for Mathew who was answering Miles’ interrogation. The man had his mouth open when Bass punched him.

“What the hell happened to her? Where the fuck were you?“ Another punch sent the man rolling on the floor, “huh?“ he kicked him for good measure. Someone dragged him away, out into the night. 

“Calm down Bass. He didn’t know about the other guys.“ Miles sounded so calm as if this wasn’t Charlie lying there.

“You didn’t even see her, Miles. She’s really hurt.“ He was trying to push his friend away to get to Mathew.

“I know. It’s not Mathew’s fault. Charlie was doing her job. He’s the one who scared them off and got her home. We can get those guys later. Right now, you need to take a fucking breath.“ Bass pushed him away, this time Miles punched him in the stomach. It made him double over. Reminding him of the only time he was forced to hit Charlie, back before they were even friends. He shook his head. He couldn’t just stand here. Miles pulled his pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed it to him.

One cigarette after the other, his hands were no longer trembling but the rage was not so far from the surface. Other thoughts were plaguing him, another pool of blood, another lost child and dead woman. He heard the door close as Miles left him in the dark.

He lit a cigarette and thought about that day, a long time ago when he lost a baby. And he thought about Connor and the pain that still lingered. He rarely thought about him, not because he didn’t care, but quite the opposite. He always cared too much.  
But this time, it wasn’t his loss. He hadn’t known but obviously Charlie had. It was a strange feeling in fact, as if the loss didn’t belong to him but her only. He hadn’t even dared to think about their having a child together. He took a drag from his cigarette as he realized his eyes were watering up. It was for Charlotte, not for himself. 

She was alive. That was all he had to hold on to : Charlie was still alive. 

“You’re ok Bass?” Miles was back.

“Yeah… Rachel told you?” He didn’t look at his friend. It was better to stare off into the night.

“I’m sorry… Not saying it’s not weird but I’m sorry. I know… what it means to you.” 

He turned to look at Miles. His friend’s face was aglow with concern. Maybe there was still hope for them, maybe one day they’d go back to who they once were. Right now, it was good enough to calm him down.

“I didn’t know… I think. I think she wanted to tell me today. She doesn’t know yet. And now those fuckers hurt her.” And this time the pain hit him in the gut, “how can I tell her?” His voice scrapped his throat. He felt Miles’ hand on his shoulder. The gesture made him flinch, how long since the  
only heart to heart they could have was with the barrel of a gun pointed at each other?

“I shouldn’t have gone with you… I should have gone to the farm instead of her. Damn it…”

“Come on Bass. You know Charlie. She’s a Matheson. We think we’re invincible.”

“She’s going to wake up and feel like hell. And blame herself… Like with Jason. Miles, I can’t tell her.”

“You have to. That’s what you got into.” answered gruffly Miles, “.. and she’ll be ok. Charlie’s tough. I’ve seen he recover from so much…”

“Too much.” He could see Miles taking a step back and nodding. It was the first time they were talking about Charlie together, that is since Miles had been told about their relationship. It wasn’t so bad but he could see his friend’s face becoming distant again and his gaze evading his. That would have to do.

“It’s better she hears it from me.” He concluded as Miles nod again and went back in. Bass finished his cigarette and lingered a little longer. The night seemed too calm, the stars were even glimmering in the distance. He thought about the bright sunshine the day he found about his parents, and the bird singing the day he buried Shelly and the baby. Charlie was going to hate the world once she found out the truth. Maybe it was kinder to wait to tell her. Yes, there would be time to talk. There would be time to talk, later. Now? Now, he had to do something.

He went to retrieve his gun and sword from the corner of the porch. As he was slipping his gun under his jeans’ waistband, Miles came back to the porch. 

“What are you doing?“

“What else Miles? She’s resting. And we’ve got time to catch those motherfuckers.“ He looked at his friend, “don’t just stand there. What’s wrong with you? They hurt Charlie. You’re the fucking sheriff.“

He knew the type. They went for easy targets and they thought Willoughby was one. They must still be around somewhere, in the woods nearby, thinking they’d had gotten away and waiting to strike again. It wouldn’t be difficult for two of the of the most feared men in the continent to find them.

It took them less than fifteen minutes. The guys were burning off one of the men. Bass snarled when he realized it was his Charlie who had killed him. She had fought a good fight, he was sure of it.

“Good evening gentlemen.“ The men looked up and had the good sense to take a step back. But it was way too late for them, Bass aimed at them :

“Put your guns on the ground,“ his tone was cold as ice. They hesitate before one of them laughed :

“Or what? Two old guys lost in the woods…“

“Nah, we found exactly what we were looking for.“ Miles gun was also on them.

“Oh the girl. My bad. She was cute though. Pity we didn’t have enough time to…“ Bass saw his slow smile, the smile of a guy who thought he was on top of the world and could hurt whomever he wanted. Not Charlotte. Bass didn’t even realize he had shot him until the man crumpled on the floor. The other two had their mouths open and were scrambling to strike back. They were disarmed before they could make a move.

While Miles was still tying his guy’s hands, Bass had already started the slicing and the goading. 

“What the hell are you doing?“ Miles sounded like a good clean model citizen.

“What do you think? They hurt her.“ Another slice and the man was whimpering like a child, “buckle up. I’ve got all night.“ Punching was good too. He didn’t need a sophisticated tray of torture instrument. He had more than enough to inflict pain without killing.

“Bass. We can’t do that.“

“You’ve really lost it,“ snickered Bass, “for once, I think Rachel will approve.“

There was a shot. Bass saw Miles’ guy go down.

“We can’t do that Bass.“ Miles sounded like a well trained parrot. Bass ignored him as he sliced off the man’s finger. This one was going to pay for all that his friends did. Miles pulled him back and punched him in the face. Damn it. Before Bass could recover, he had killed off the man.

“We cannot do that. We’re on the side of the law. Can’t go down that road again.“

“We can’t? Fuck Miles. They hurt her. They hurt your niece! Whatever happened to your speech about what will happen to me if I hurt her?“

“I killed them. They’re dead. But we’re not going to torture…“

“You do whatever the fuck you want Miles. But I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep her safe.“ he finished his tirade with a punch. He left his bewildered friend to deal with the bodies.

 

Charlie drift in and off sleep. AARP and Rachel told him it was normal. She had lost a lot of blood… Once more. He made her drink a bone broth every time she woke up, and tried to evade her attempts to confide in him, he knew where that conversation would be leading; and it was too early for her to know.

They were back in their house now. Miles and Rachel came daily. She didn’t approve of Bass’ choice of not telling her yet. He was sure it was more because she didn’t like him making the decision, and not her. But they were all in agreement that she needed her strength back.

Something felt strange. Charlie knew it, it wasn’t about the way Bass hovered around her or how for the first time in her presence, Rachel, Miles and Bass got along. It was something different, internal. She barely remembered what happened after being jumped. Sometimes she had flashes of her mother’s terrified face and grandpa’s sad eyes. But she couldn’t remember if she had told them about the baby. She felt sore, like something had happened. Her mother had been giving her something, most probably poppy that made her senses woozy. It wasn’t good for the baby but was there still a baby to protect? Maybe she should tell them.

Today, she was less frazzled. She was tired of this bed, she pushed the covers away and dared to put a foot down. Fuck, she felt so weak. The door flew open, damn the loud floorboard!

“What are you doing! You need to rest.”

“I’m tired of this bed. It didn’t take that long last time.. I need to get out of here, Bass.”

He sat down next to her. She saw his face change. He looked worn, and older. Lines deeply etched into his face, his eyes full of sadness.

“Charlotte…”

“I lost the baby, didn’t I?” He nodded and she felt her throat constrict. Only now she realized she had wanted it. She bit the inside of her cheek, “should have been more careful.”

“You couldn’t. Matthew told us what happened. I’d’ve done the same thing. And those fuckers? Let’s just say that they won’t be rotting in jail but under the earth.”

So Bass or Miles killed them. She didn’t feel remorse, nor relief. It didn’t matter. The baby was gone. She could feel a whole ocean of grief under her toes but she knew better than to plunge. She had felt it hovering many times, so many times. 

“I’m sorry Bass. I wanted to tell you that day. I just.. I wasn’t sure.”

“It’s ok. I’m just… I was worried about you,” he whispered, holding her hands. She could remember waking up to find him at her bedside after the attack. He had held her hands like today. Was she crying? She could feel tears rolling over her cheek. She didn’t want that, she didn’t need that. She had to keep on keeping on. That was the only way she could survive another day, week or month.

His hands caressed her arms as he leaned forward to embrace her. She was immersed in his warmth and his familiar scent. She could also smell rosemary, he must have been chopping herbs earlier. A long time ago, the sight of her mother would have been a relief in time of pain and despair. Later, it was always dad. After he died, Miles soon grew to be her touchstone. And now, the walls and roof keeping her safe was Sebastian Monroe; for better or worse.

“Do you… Would you like to have a baby? “ She blurted out before she could even process the thought in her own mind. They pulled apart. She saw his face softened and she went on, “I know it will be hard… because of what happened before with her. But…”

“Yes. I’d want to but I don’t want you to be in danger… Or in pain.” His eyes were in hers and she knew what he meant. She nodded :

“I’ll be more careful… It’s just that I…” She wet her lips, “I didn’t know what I thought about it. I needed to talk to you.” She smiled, it was painful but it felt good to see it mirrored in his face. His battle wearied face seemed to light up with his smile, his eyes twinkling.

“Miles reminded me that you’re a Matheson. Not so good for staying to of trouble.”

She laughed, of course Miles’ would say that. They were both reckless. Somehow her father hadn’t been like this but she was like her uncle. She was used to falling flat on her face by now. And tonight, things were different. She didn’t have to see her mother’s disappointed face or people awkwardly tiptoeing around her. She was laughing with a man who understood her better than anyone. Their laughter faded as they looked at each other. His gaze could be razor sharp but tonight it was soft, like a spring breeze.

Next time she would be more careful. He was smiling back. Yes, she wanted to have his baby.  
Her smile fell as she thought about Nora and what she had told her about losing her baby. With a pang, she realized she hadn’t thought about her dear friend since a long time.

“You’re ok?”

“I will be.. And so we’re clear : we both want a baby?”

“Oh yeah, Charlotte Matheson... I want your baby.”

It seemed such a solemn yet silly oath that she had to laugh again. She remembered seeing him for the first time and how she loathed him, nobody could have told her how the future would enfold. It went beyond any comprehension. 

As promised, Charlie got better. She barely thought about the incident but without any comment on the matter, she steered cleared from action, for now, and both Miles and Bass didn’t let her anyways. She huffed and complained about it but she didn’t mind as much. In the evening and early mornings, she was too busy trying to conceive with Bass to even think about accusing him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't throw tomatoes at me! Eat them, they are delicious in the summer. :)  
> Yes, I went there and I hurt my two babiiiies. I'm bad, I'm terrible. But we all love a good twist of angst
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this ride, it won't be ending any time soon. There will be more upheavals in the coming chapters.
> 
> I'm sorry for putting Charlie in this situation and for inflicting all this pain to our dear old Bass but I think it got them closer. And it made their whole group closer.
> 
> Next chapter will be less painful, I promise!!
> 
> Thank you for your support, comments and kudos. It really makes me happy to hear from all of you. Thank you.


	10. A perfect fit

Charlie was so used to the scent of blood, of seeing seeping wounds that she barely flinched every time Bass came back all banged up. When it was her, on the other hand, Bass would suddenly become overprotective. Today, he was the one who had stumbled in looking like hell.

He was rummaging in the kitchen. She placed one calming hand on his shoulder and nodded to the chair. He sat down as she took out the necessities to take care of his cuts and bruises. Hopefully, there won’t be any reason to send for her grandfather.

“Take off your clothes.“

“Gladly,“ he flashed her his signature Monroe smile. She gave him a sidelong glance as he took off his jacket and shirt. They’d need mending but this was where she drew the line : he could mend all his clothes and socks himself, he was a big boy. She peered at his shoulder. It was a superficial wound. She cleaned it up with water first. She took out the vial of disinfectant. It was a luxury that many couldn’t afford but they had connections.

Bass winced as Charlie pat the wound with disinfectant.

“Come on. You’ve seen worse.”

“I’m not complaining.”

She smiled, he never complained about his physical aches and pains, nor was he fussy like Miles. The first time he came home all banged up, well that was when they first started to get close, since then he had usually taken care of his own wounds. He was meticulous and stoic. He didn’t waste any time, it was like a routine like washing up in the morning.

But today, she had taken over. Ever since she had gotten pregnant again, she had too much time to kill. Even the routine duties had been taken over by Howie under the pretense of expanding his training. She knew better. That’s the least she could do to ease up her two men’s minds. They were fragile creature after all. She was not idle in spite of their efforts : she was helping out her grandfather in the clinic and giving assistance to Aaron who had recently been elected mayor. And still, she had too much time in her hand.

Sometimes she woke up in the death of night with adrenaline coursing through her veins, and wonder why she was lying in a bed and not in a sleeping bag. Usually, she found solace in waking up Bass and finding another way to dispel the rush. She could feel his gaze on her as she moved around the kitchen to find another bandage. She turned round to find the harbor of his gaze.

“I know we both decided I should be careful this time.. But so should you. I didn’t sign up to be a single mother.”

He made a face, as she bandaged his forearm. It might turn into a new scar. One of the thing she loved about his body was the network of scars. Often, she asked him about that one or the other. Some he remembered, others were discarded as a scratch. She was dumping the soiled cloth into the laundry basket when she heard him ask something. It made her pause and stare at him. As far as she knew, pregnancy didn’t mess up a woman’s hearing. 

“What?”

“You’re not going to make me repeat myself…” His gaze dropped to the floor making him look comical. Bass was never bashful about what he wanted or asked. He was always head on, unashamed, but as they were growing closer, she was discovering another side of him, especially since she was pregnant. Right now, he looked like a boy asking out a girl for the first time. 

“If you said what I think you said, you better say it again.” She peered at him. He was still sitting on their most comfortable chair, his injured arm on the kitchen table. His face was scruffy, there was a bruise on his cheek and he hadn’t washed off the cuts on his forehead. The bright light filtering through the window was like a spotlight over him, making his clear blue eyes sparkle. Here sits Sebastian Monroe in all his bloody glory. 

“Will you marry me Charlotte?” It was between a mumble and a whisper. Where was the General’s voice? The fearless leader? The demanding lover? Something in her was melting and was melting fast. Fucking hormones or whatever was messing up with her.

She turned around to face him completely. Marriage? Did he talk about marriage? Marriage, seriously? Her and him? Charlie Matheson and Bass Monroe? Marriage. She didn’t know what to do with her hands, with herself. Her mouth was closed and her eyes securely anchored in his.

“You’re not going to ask me repeat it a third time, right?” he cocked his head, there was a twinkle in his eyes but he wasn’t smiling. He was watching her carefully, as if he had told her he wanted his old republic back or something terrible. Marriage wasn’t a terrible thing, was it?

“Marriage, as in a church with a priest and all that?” She tried to keep her mind from sending the room spinning. This word was a mouthful. Her gaze dipped to her hands. 

“If that’s what you want. I was thinking in the lines of Aaron the mayor and all that.” He was trying to catch her gaze again but she couldn’t look at him. Her parents got married a long time ago. It hadn’t mean much. In fact, she didn’t know many people who were married. Who had the time in the post blackout world? His eyes were on her, she could feel them roaming over her.

“Why?” She was genuinely curious but still didn’t want to look at him. 

“Why? Because I like waking up next to you…” He sounded surprised.

“Well, we already do that.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“You can take my name if you w...” He tried again.

“Absolutely not.” Her eyes flashed to his with indignation. She liked being Charlie Matheson. Monroe was a name that still haunted her nightmares from time to time, not that she would ever tell him.

“I can call you my wife and I can be your husband.” He was smiling and seemed undaunted by her diffidence, as if he knew what she was struggling it. Of course he’d read it in her eyes, he always did. His unshakable confidence was back, as if he knew the answer to his question. 

“Sounds old and stuffy.”

“So it’s a no?” This time he sounded hesitant, his smile faltering. 

“No, it’s not a no.” She stood with one hand over her belly. This kid had been creating havoc with her digestion. She really should have scarfed down all that bread her mother had given her. But it had tasted so delicious with a thick coating of butter… in fact, maybe there was some more left. Anything but this awkward conversation. She didn’t want to shut him down but marriage seemed so outlandish. It was something from a long time ago, when people had toilets that flushed and freezers.

“You’re not going to run like last time?” She did hear the fear in his voice but it made her temper rise.

“You ran too…” She narrowed her eyes. She turned away to rummage in the bread basket. She found a last piece, she was that lucky. She settled on the table with a pat of butter on her piece of bread. He watched her as she ate silently. The thoughts were no longer racing in her mind. Instead, she was gliding over them, and making sense of what he had asked her.

She had never thought about marriage. Sure, she had seen those old pictures of women wearing those long dresses and read articles about how such occasions were conducted in the pre-blackout world. She didn’t understand the fuss. 

There was no certainty in this world. None. Her mom had been having an affair for the longest time, maybe even before she married her dad. Her mother had left, pretending to be dead. Her father was dead now. Maggie and her father had been happy but no wedding rings on their fingers. Nothing, it meant nothing. But her gaze on his face was enough to garner that it meant something to him. In his blue eyes, beneath his eager glint, she could see pools of dark. She knew without him telling her how much it cost him to ask. The right word to describe him right now would brave. Actually, he looked braver than he ever did under gunfire.

 

“... I was giving you space s’all.” She realized Bass had been replying to her comment about running. She nodded. A question of her own was burning her lips but she was looking at him instead. Finally, she couldn’t keep it to herself :

“I’m in for the long haul but… I need to know why. What does it mean to you? Getting married? Why is it important?“

His smiled faded completely and his gaze dropped. It was only for a few minutes before his blazing blue eyes were focused on her once more.

“It’s hard to explain. Marriage, kids… It’s having a family. It’s… I guess it’s just that I always thought I’d get married one day. Like my folks. Once I found the girl“

“Oh so I’m the girl?“ she couldn’t resist teasing him, just to see his smile again. The shadow had passed and he wasn’t frowning anymore.

“You doubt that?“

She shook her head. She didn’t when he was looking at her like that. It just seemed so sudden, so unexpected sometimes that they were together. And yet they were. She looked into his eyes as she finally gave her answer :

 

“Alright… Yes.” She saw a new spark in his eyes. Who would’ve thought it’d be so easy to make Sebastian Monroe shine like a new penny?

“Ok so should I say it as many times as you asked? Yes, yes, yes, I want to marry you Sebastian Monroe. Under the condition that you,” she continued with a devilish smile, “take my name. Sebastian Matheson. Sounds good, doesn’t it?”

He was laughing with her. Marriage meant nothing to her, but this : this laughter, this joy, this moment of complete surrender to each other. Charlie settled on Bass lap to kiss him. She was becoming a little too big for this, but he could handle it. With both feet, she had taken those first steps, fully conscious of what she was doing and ready to embrace the novelty. Now, she had to think of a way to break the news to the rest of her family. But it could wait, right now her mouth was crashing against Bass’, his arms tightly wrapped around her, giving her no time nor breath to think about anyone other than him.

It was only much later, when they were dozing off in their bed that he mumbled :

“Fuck. I forgot to give you the ring…“

He stumbled out of bed. She heard him strike a match and light a candle. After a few minutes of rummaging, he was back. He slipped it on her finger. It was too dark to see the ring properly, but it shone far brighter than anything she owned. From the ring, her gaze went to windows offering a small glimpse of the starry sky, and back to his face.

“It’s too beautiful, Bass.“

“It fits you perfectly,“ his voice was rough on the edge, “I wasn’t sure it would.“

“It’s perfect,“ she said with a yawn as she settled her head on her pillow. He blew out the candle but didn’t lie down. She was asleep within minutes. It’s strange how this ring had survived so many tragedies to finally find the perfect fit.

He turned away as memories overwhelmed him. Shelly didn’t get this ring, instead he bartered an ill fitting ring from a woman living two tents down. Her husband had left her days before the blackout for a young woman. Shelly was only a flicker from a long lost shore. He could barely see her most of time. Once in a blue moon, she would come in his dreams. Her voice and her scent hovering even after he had woken up. But ever since he had started to sleep with Charlie, she had receded into a whisper in a windy night.

This ring, along with his parents’ rings had been forgotten in the Monroe safe in Jasper. He still didn’t know why he took them after his last eventful visit there. So much was happening, yet something had urged him to keep them, that and an old photograph of his family. He had lost that photo after the bombing of Philly. It was in the rubbles. He didn’t need it anymore, it was engraved in his memory. Every face, smile and voice, they would never leave. They were part of him and part of what would come next. They were in his blood.

His mother would have loved Charlie his girlfriend… fiancé, like she had loved that little toddler she had met once. His father would have flirted with her just to prove that he still had the Monroe charm. His sisters, forever stuck to the silliness of teenagers, would have dragged her to their rooms and showed her their collection of posters and girlie stuff. Charlie would have loved them too. He knew it without a doubt, she’d be a perfect fit for them.

Lulled by the juxtaposition of two timelines that could never converge, he finally curled up behind her, his nose in her hair and his arm wrapped around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience. Editing this chapter took a bit longer. It turns out that editing a fanfic chapter, when you're editing a novel makes you go in overdrive. But since you people are amazing with your support, and kind words, you will get a double update.
> 
> (Well, it also turns out that with my 'editing' and 'fluffing up' I ended up writing more and the chapter needed to be divided in two. ;))
> 
> It's hard to write a happy Bass. We barely saw him like this but this is how I want to see him. I do wonder if he can truly be happy. I also wanted to give justice to Shelly but not overshadow Charlie either. I mean, it's Charlie Matheson after all. 
> 
> It was also interesting to explore their different views on marriage, some kind of generational gap that was easily overcome. Do you also see Bass as someone who could still believe in marriage (if he were able to overcome his shadows) and Charlie less concerned about this ritual?
> 
> Anyhow, on with the next chapter.


	11. An ordinary day

They chose sunday roast to make their little announcement. Every sunday, Rachel pretended to cook a roast and had them all over : Aaron, Charlie and Bass. It was their version of a family dinner. Every sunday, Bass came early to make the roast and Rachel sprinkled with her little preparation of herbs and spices. She had been especially careful ever since Charlie had announced her second pregnancy. There had been no comment, no snide word, she kept her peace. It was hard to say whether she had finally made her peace with the past or if Miles had convinced her to keep her mouth shut. Charlie didn’t care as long as she could have both parts of her family with her. She was a little nervous this sunday, she’d rather be facing rows of patriots than facing her mother with their news. She had barely worn her engagement ring since Bass had given it to her, because it seem to attract too much light. Diamonds nowadays were a currency, not a piece of jewelry. At first, Bass had huffed a bit but she had promised she’d get the hang of it.

She stood in front of the door and breathed in the delicious aroma coming from the kitchen. Chicken and potatoes. Bass was already here but he wasn’t the one wearing an engagement ring. They had agreed they’d break the news together but everyone was so observant, she was pretty sure they’d notice the ring right away, especially since she rarely wore any jewelry. 

“Hi everyone!” 

The first person to cross her path was Miles who was hovering between the kitchen and the entrance. 

“How you doing kiddo?”

“Good. Starving.. And you?” He didn’t answer right away, he caught her hand in his and looked at the ring.

“Maybe you should hide this until after dinner? If you’re really starving….”

“Miles, I know it’s weird for you. But…”

“It’s none of my business. You’re a grown woman: I just wish you had picked someone less…”

They heard a commotion from the kitchen.

“… Bass this isn’t funny. This used to be a live chicken,“ her mother sounded exasperated but not spiteful.

“So what? I just made it a hat from a piece of pumpkin!” Her mother laughed at Bass’ words. It was a good sign. Perhaps, there was some hope left in this world. It always mystified her how both of them managed to cook together in spite of their cold war. Today, she could finally see that in spite of their enmity some crumbs of their friendship remained. There was hope.

“Someone less moronic?” Charlie mused.

“He’s just Bass.. But I’m starting to think you maybe get him better than I ever did. Sometimes it feels like you’ve managed to drag out that old Bass. The one before the blackout and the accident.” Miles’ gaze drifted away, “you’re good at dragging people out of their hiding place. I just know he better treat you right,“ he added gruffly, sounding more like the uncle she knew so well.

“So, do I have your blessings?”

“Err.. I’m not your… I’m just your uncle, Charlie. I’m fine with it as long as he doesn’t hurt you. That’s all I’m saying.” 

She hugged him. It wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world anymore but she had missed hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her awkwardly. 

“What’s going on? Smells good in here…” Aaron was standing in front of them with a bag. She knew he must have brought the booze.

“Miles needed a hug. D’you want one?”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. He gave her the warmest hug in the world. Giving her a whiff of her childhood. It would all be fine. They were all family. 

A joyful cacophony erupted as they all sat around the table. The roast was delicious, juicy, warm and so crispy. Charlie stole a few morsels from Bass’ plate when she was done with her fare, making him smile. As everyone was polishing off their plates, there was a happy silence. The afternoon sun was filtering in from the french windows, making everyone’s faces glow. After that, there would be pie.

“Is it your mother’s recipe? What are we celebrating?” Miles let out as Bass was cutting a piece for each of them. Charlie shot him an annoyed look. Really, he had to do that.

“Actually….” Bass started, and paused to look at Charlie, she nodded, “Charlie and I have some news.”

“We’re getting married.” Charlie ripped off the bandaid and looked at their faces. Her grandfather was carefully considering them, Rachel’s mouth was hanging open and Aaron had a knowing glance in his eyes and was soon filling up their glasses with his latest brew. Miles instantly squeezed her mother’s hand. Rachel closed her mouth and opened it again.

“Really? Why?”

“Why not?” quipped Bass. His arm was around Charlie’s shoulder, she liked this sense of solidarity between them. It was them against the world. Maybe this was what marriage was about?

“The priest doesn’t really like us…” mused Miles. Most people in town pretended Bass and Miles were just part of Gene’s wayward family and nothing more, except for the priest and Mrs Rutdgers. The later slammed her window shut if she saw them coming towards her house and pretended to be deaf. The priest was welcoming, kind but cold. He was nicer to Charlie and her mother, but Miles and Bass were persona non grata in the church, not that either of them cared.

“We’d rather Aaron did the honors.” Charlie peered at her old friend. Aaron took another gulp of moonshine before answering :

“I.. Me? Yeah.. I’m supposed to represent the state of Texas. Sure… But wouldn’t you want a proper church wedding?”

Bass laughed and Charlie snorted.

“Proper? You do know who you have in front of you, right?” Charlie said between two laughs, “ those woods will be the only church we need… Or the town hall… Either way, we want you to officiate Aaron. Right Bass?“

“Whatever you want, Charlotte soon to be Monroe.”

“Oh no, you said you were taking my name.”

“What? Wait, no! Fuck no!” Miles spat out his drink, “ we don’t want this dumbass disgracing the Matheson name!“

“I never said that… You said yes but I never said I’d do it.” Bass winked at her, and turned to Aaron, “it’s not even legal right?”

There was so much laughter around them. Charlie’s gaze found her mother’s. She didn’t look overjoyed but nor did she have her usual pinched look. She almost seemed relax. Maybe she had finally come around. They’d never be close but at least there was peace. The chatter around her had faded away as she smiled at her mother. It wasn’t much but it was something. Her mother actually smiled back. 

Miles’ voice caught Charlie’s attention :

“You what? That’s tomorrow… How long have you been engaged?“

“Two days,“ quipped Bass as a challenge. Charlie rolled her eyes at the two friends who were always arguing about everything.

“So what? We can get married tomorrow…“ She really didn’t see the problem there.

“But the dress,“ Rachel finally spoke, Charlie saw Bass’ glare aimed at her, “you need a wedding dress.“

“An engagement is supposed to be a year long… Or it used to be,“ Her grandfather added. Charlie looked at them as if they were talking to her about some alien planet. Sometimes, the pre-blackout world seem to be so far away. She couldn’t even make sense of it. It was like a fairytale that she could hardly remember. 

“Why? Why are those things important,“ she tried to keep her tone light but couldn’t, “all we’ve got is now. Who knows what will happen next year.“ She was sorry to see their smiles falter. But Bass arm was around her, and she knew she was saying the right words.

“Charlie’s right. That’s all we’ve got. We’re getting married tomorrow. You can come if you want to.“ She repressed a shiver moving down her spine. General Sebastian Monroe. Nobody could argue with him. She was marrying him too. And yet, it didn’t scare her at all.

“Well, we do need Aaron…“ She smiled as she spoke. Bass smiled back with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Right. Well then, let me find something for you to wear.“ Rachel was off, probably to rummage in the things leftover from her grandmother and those who came before. Miles stood up too, as if someone had pricked a needle in his ass :

“Cigars. Can’t get married without cigars. Heard Jed had a side business… I’ll be back.“ And he was off. Her grandfather had quietly left the room at some point. Aaron was left.

“Any objection?“ Bass was smiling but she knew he wasn’t kidding. She knew both men had some kind of mutual respect for each other. It was strange because they were both from very different worlds, and yet they both belonged to her family.

“None whatsoever. It’s just that I haven’t married anyone yet… Got to find the forms and all that.“ With that, Aaron had dashed off. Somehow the incoming nuptials had sent the whole flock flying, except for these two lovebirds.

Charlie turned her attention back to her slice of pie. 

“It’s actually pretty good. Should’ve waited after the pie to give our announcement… Then again…“ She took another slice, “maybe it was a good idea. More pie for me.“

“That was the plan.“ He whispered as he kissed her forehead. She looked up and see that his eyes were brimming with tears. It was really a big deal for him and it made her feel warm to be able to give it to him. At this point in time, it was hard to reconcile this Bass with the one who was best described as a killer. And yet, both of them had found a place under her skin. 

“I’m glad I’m getting married to the best cook in the world.“

 

When Charlie woke up she heard Bass snoring under her, and the rain falling outside. Great. As she stretched like a cat, her thoughts went back to Mélanie. A Swiss woman had been left stranded in the USA after the blackout, and she had decided to stay in Sylvania Estate along with her sister who was already living here with her husband and kids. She tried to teach them french as it was her mother tongue. Didn’t really work, what would be the point? But today Charlie was remembering the tiny Swiss woman. Yeah, she was the one who taught her that in French you say that a rainy wedding will give a happy marriage. 

When they made their way to town hall the rain had stopped. Aaron was waiting for them in an ill fitting grey suit. Charlie looked down at her lemon summer dress. Not fancy at all. Next to her, Bass was wearing his usual jeans and black leather jacket, and a clean shirt. He had sleeked his hair back and had wanted to shave but she hadn’t let him.

Her mother and grandfather stood up as they came in. They looked nice and fancy. Miles on the other hand was a perfect fit to be Bass’ best man. Charlie smiled at her mother as they made their way inside. Rachel gave her a bunch of yellow flowers with a whisper,

“Every bride has her bouquet.“

She wouldn’t have picked her mother to be her matron of honor, to be her witness to her marriage to Sebastian Monroe. Who would she have picked if she could chose anyone she wanted? A strange feeling made her heart twist.

Nora?

Maggie?

Maybe just a best man… Danny?

She looked around at the faces surrounding her. They were glowing even if she knew some of them weren’t so excited to have Sebastian Monroe in their family. They were what was left of her family. No father to walk the bride. Thankfully, this wasn’t a church.

“Ready?“ Aaron’s eyes were gentle as he waited for her to answer. She nodded,

“Before we do this,“ her voice was wavering, the emotions surprising her, “thanks for being here…. To all of you. Especially you,“ she took her husband-to-be’s hand in hers. He nodded but she could see in his eyes that he was equally overwhelmed. She quickly dapped her eyes with her fingers, as she heard the clerk and the Willoughby Gazette’s journalist join them as it was customary.

There wasn’t much fuss, no elaborate vows or decoration. Simple words, and those eyes meeting her eyes like the first time. It didn’t mean anything, right? Nothing at all.

They left the town hall to have a bite at the inn. None of them spoke until the waiter came to take their order. After it was done and Miles had a glass of ale, he raised it up :

“So who should I toast? The great Sebastian Monroe? Or my amazing smart niece who made the less smart decision of her life?“

“You’re too sober for this,“ Bass cut him off.

After that, it was like any other sunday roast. They were talking desultory. They didn’t notice people looking at them, or the rain picking up outside. They were wrapped up in a bubble.

Later that night, Charlie and Bass went back to their place. There was no rush when they went to their bedroom. Their kisses were soft, and their lovemaking gentle.

As they laid together in their bed, Charlie could hear the rain falling harder. Maybe her French teacher was right, their marriage was going to be happy one. It couldn’t be worse than either of them had lived through before. They probably both could still remember the feeling of being covered in the blood of the person they loved. Charlie drew herself out of those thoughts as she played with her wedding band. It was a miracle that both rings fit her. She knew they had been Bass’ mothers. They were more precious than anything she had ever owned. 

“Thank you.“

“For what?“ 

“For not killing me when I told you to shoot me.“ And in a flash she was back there. Challenging Bass to shoot him as she walked away. She had known him capable of shooting her but it hadn’t scared her, at all. She heard him stiffl a laugh. Who knew they’d ever laugh about this one day?

“Thank you too.“

“For?“

“For dragging Miles out of his bar and taking down the republic.“ 

She didn’t laugh, didn’t smile. It was a road full of tears and blood, and yet it had brought her here with him. There was a flash of light and the thunder making her almost jump. As the elements were raging outside, she was safe. Bass’s arm was around her, his hand on her belly. His breath was in her hair, her cheek against his skin. 

“It’s weird when you think about it. If the blackout hadn’t happened, you would have watched me growing up. But it would have been so different.. We would have been so different.“

“It would have been weird…“ She looked up at him as he spoke, “I remember you when you were a kid. But somehow, that Charlie and this Charlie are two distinct beings in my head,“ She found his hand, and he caressed her, his, brand with his fingers, “I think it’s better for my sanity that I didn’t actually see you growing up.“

She made a face. They never talked about their age difference or the fact that he had most probably seen when she was small. Mostly, it was because the pre-blackout world seemed so far away to Charlie. They had been in each other lives for so long but these memories had been left on a table to fade away in the sun. Their true story started with New Vegas. It was safer. Before that, there were too many people whose name could break their delicate balance. 

“They’d all be alive.“ She hadn’t meant to mention them, her father and Danny, she didn’t want to see guilt in his eyes. The words had just tumbled out of her mouth.

“Yeah. Maybe my folks too.“ She almost didn’t hear him. She closed her eyes, her fingers entwined with his.

“I would have loved to meet them.“

“They saw you once or twice. They loved you.“

Now all Charlie could hear was his heartbeat and the rain outside. If, what if.. What was the point? It was gone. They were all gone. She thought of her living family’s happy faces today, Bass’s smile. It had all happened and it was beautiful. Her eyes fluttered open and she turned until her face was hovering over his.

“Charlotte?“ She kissed him. Her tongue finding his, her teeth nipping his bottom lip as they pulled back for hair. Before she knew it he was kissing her again with a hunger that made her whole body hum. That was the best antidote for regrets and bitter memories. As his hands slid over her body, all thoughts of death had slipped away. All that existed was him, and her and this rain. 

 

Much later, Bass woke up in cold sweat. He didn’t move but his heart was pounding and he was aware of the gun he kept under his pillow, the knife on his nightstand.

It was the same dream that had always plagued him. A snake chasing him through the dark streets of Jasper, into the graveyard, to a battlefield and back into the radioactive ruins of Philly.

Charlie stirred in her sleep, escaping his grasp. A loud snore made his shoulders relax as he recalled Charlie’s staunch denial about her snoring. It didn’t happen all the time, but when it did it always reminded him of Miles and his raucous snores. He gently untangled his legs from hers and left the bed.

He found his way into the dark kitchen, to the bottle he kept by the sink. A few sips trickled like velvet into his parched throat. Just a dream. In real life, he never feared any snake. It was just the wedding and all the stuff around it, it had left him vulnerable. He couldn’t afford to let his guard down. He looked out of the kitchen window into the sleepy town. All the windows were dark, every honest citizen was asleep. He unlocked the door, grabbed his cigarettes with his other hand and went outside. He made his way across the porch, to sit down on the steps. Another swig and he lit a cigarette. The ember was the only color in the dark street. All those houses were like boxes filled with people thinking they were safe enough to sleep.

It looked peaceful enough but trouble always found a way to hide in the bushes and spring out in the most ordinary day. Let it come then, Sebastian Monroe was alert and armed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed these two chapters.
> 
> Initially, I didn't write that much about the wedding. It was supposed to be fast and just a blink next to the rest of the plot. But.. it's Charlie Matheson and Bass Monroe! I can't just describe their wedding in a few short sentences!
> 
> As an experienced fanfic reader I must say, if there's fluff in a story that's supposed to be angsty... It's usually a bad bad sign. But I'm just saying that as a fanfic reader, not a writer. ;)
> 
> I hope I managed to make them sound sweet but not too cheesy : one wouldn't want Charloe to lose their edge. ;)
> 
> Once more, thank you for reading this story and for taking the time to comment (I'll reply to all your lovely comments tomorrow, it's rather late here) you really make me happy.


	12. The day that never happened

Another lazy sunday found Bass and Charlie immersed into each other. He had woken up a little bit before dawn, a habit he found hard to kick. He was just lying on his side, berating himself for waking up so early when the only productive thing he’d be doing was to prepare a roast. His nose was buried in Charlie’s hair, her plump body pressed against his front. There were worse ways to wake up. He felt Charlie squirm next to him she turned to her back and let out a groan.

“Charlotte?“ He was trying hard not to sound too concern. Most of the time, it made Charlie snap at him. This time she just made a face and her eyes fluttered open.

“I don’t want to get out of bed,“ she stretched her arms over her head, the sheet slipped to reveal her chest. He needed a few minutes before his eyes could find her face, her smirk wasn’t lost on him.

“Where’s the rush?“ it gratified him that even now, after so many months, his voice heavy with lust could make her shiver. Now that his gaze was in hers, it was hard to look away. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. She reached up to pull him closer as she ravenously kissed him back. Maybe waking up so early wasn’t such a bad thing?

The sun was shinning brightly, when Bass finally managed to disentangle himself from Charlie. Rachel would be pissed if he showed up late. For Charlie’s sake he was willing to make this truce work for as long as they could. He went to the small room they used as a washroom and found enough water for a quick wash up. He made a mental note to go to the river to bring more water for Charlie. 

He found her sitting at the kitchen table, her gaze on the coffeemaker bubbling on the stove. She was wearing his rumpled shirt, her hair a messy bird’s nest. Without much thought, he found himself standing behind her, his arms around her, his lips in her hair. There. Now, right now.. That would be the exact time for the whole world to blow up. He’d die happy. Almost, he closed his eyes as his right hand slid to her abdomen. She had grown very quickly. AARP and Rachel were speculating whether Charlie was carrying twins or a very healthy baby. In a flash he remembered the baby pictures in his parent’s house : Monroes were fat babies. His sisters were born the same day, with totally different personality. Twins? He kissed her head again, it didn’t matter as long as Charlie and the baby, babies, came through unscathed. 

The fine aroma of coffee was gently spreading in the room. Now this was a luxury neither of them could part with. The doc had confirmed that it wouldn’t harm Charlie or the baby if she had a mug or two. With a sign, he let go of Charlie and went to retrieve the italian coffeemaker. He poured the precious brew in two mugs and brought them back to the table. They sat side by side with their steamy mugs. 

Neither spoke as they gazed out of the window. It wasn’t very exciting, their neighbors were going through their usual sunday routine. One of them had a dog to walk, a teenager girl was rushing out with a pretty dress, some folks coming back from church. It was peaceful.

“Mom’s going to kill you,“ somehow, today Charlie didn’t feel like talking. Every word weighed a ton. She usually loved sunday roast, being around her family and eating good food but today she’d prefer staying in with Bass, not speaking with words, and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist, 

“Nothing new,“ he mumbled, his arm was against hers but his gaze was still wandering outside. He took another sip from his coffee before he finally stood up.

“You’ll wait for…“

“I’m not waiting for Aaron to escort me, Monroe.“ She narrowed her eyes for good measure, “Now go or she’ll turn you into another experiment.“ 

“She can try,“ he leaned forwards to kiss her lips. He could feel her lips parting, inviting him in. He pulled back and shook his head, “Later.“ 

As soon as he left, she let out a long breath. She couldn’t imagine not having him around but his worry unnerved her, especially today. Something was off with today. She couldn’t tell what, though. Was it the morning light that was too bright? It was the baby, and yeah, she knew she wasn’t carrying twins, she just knew. Bass was fine too, his usual scruffy self. What was off? Her mother had told her it was natural to feel anxious but she wasn’t thinking about the delivery or even the baby. It was another part of her that was on overdrive.

A part of her that had been unused for too many months but she could never truly shake off. She made her way to the bedroom, and went to retrieve the gun she kept in her nightstand. Her knife was laying by her boots. Maybe her mother was right, all these hormones were creating havoc into her. Either way, she was a Matheson and she knew better than let things to chance.

She took her time, hunting down clothes that she could still fit in and getting ready. When she finally left the house, the sun left no doubt that it was noon.Her gun was in her jacket, her knife in her boot. As she walked past the fountain, she found Miles loitering there. Of course he’d be there.

“Did Bass put you up to this?“ Her tone was sharper than she intended. It wasn’t like they kept her on house arrest but good cop and bad cop could be worse than any mother she had met.

“Good morning to you too Charlie. Eerr.. No, had to check on stuff here. Thought you’d like some company on your way there.“ 

She shrugged, when it wasn’t Bass, it was Miles. In spite of herself she smiled when he winked at her. She didn’t mind his company, at all. Lately, he had been strung out because of some unexplained mysteries. Everyone in town had been complaining about petty crimes. Someone stole a bike, missing apples in an orchard, clothes left to dry outside and blown away God knows where. It wasn’t any of the kids around, one of them had even pissed in his pants when Miles had conducted a very light interrogation. It wasn’t anyone from around here. 

“What’s new?“

“Henry Palmer said some teen walked in his store and stole bread.“

“Maybe it’s a runaway?“ Miles shrugged at her suggestion.

“Maybe he’s our mysterious criminal,“ his tone was drenched with sarcasm. That and good whisky was how the former General managed to get through his days. At least, he wasn’t hiding in a bar somewhere. She saw her grandparents’ house just around the corner. She wasn’t eager to end their little walk. It wasn’t like they often had the opportunity to be just the two of them. She looked up at his face and realized she missed him, been missing him ever since the tower.

“You’re ok, right?“

“Never been better kiddo. What about you? It’s all going well?“ He never used the word pregnancy and she could swear he looked a little green every time he allude to it.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just…“ They were at the door, “you should drop in more often. I’ll show you where Bass hides his whisky.“

“In a cereal box, under the sink?“

“Cereal? How…? Actually.. You’re right. How did you guess?“ She couldn’t help but laugh. Miles rolled his eyes :

“I’ve known this idiot for too long.“

Aaron hadn’t showed up yet, so Charlie and Miles helped to set out the table, while trying to not laugh every time they heard Rachel and Bass bicker. Gene came in with a big basket of peaches. They look so luscious. He was lucky to have so many grateful patients.

Soon enough, they were sitting around the table, all except for Aaron.

“Where’s Aaron? We’re running out of booze,” complained Bass, which made Charlie make a face. Bass loved to complain about Aaron’s brew after the roast, but while it was on the table he was eagerly guzzling it down. 

“He said he had some paperwork to take care of,” offered Miles. It didn’t bother Charlie now to see him with an arm wrapped around her mother. Her mother looked comfortable. Maybe this was finally a brave new world, all shiny and dewy. Maybe this time they could finally all be happy together. Next to her Bass was asking Gene about one of his patients, something pertaining to the mystery criminal of Willoughby. She stole his dinner roll. 

There was a knock,

“Come on in Aaron. What are you knocking for?” grumbled Miles.

“Hurry up, my glass is empty.” added Bass.

Aaron stepped in gingerly. His face was pale, his hair a mess. He looked like a ghost.

“Guys, something happened… it’s not bad but it’s not g…I mean it’s something else.” Charlie sat up, there was something wrong about Aaron. He wouldn’t meet her gaze. There was something definitely wrong.

“Just spit to out,“ Bass sounded as impatient as she felt. Aaron just shook his head and took another step in. She could see a shadow in the doorway

She dropped her fork when she saw the people following him in. She recognized Priscilla, Aaron’s wife who had been possessed by the nanites and who had consequently died. And right behind her, it took her breath away, right behind her, she saw her father and Danny. 

Silence greeted the new visitors. She saw Miles’ arm fall away and her mother standing up as if she had been pricked by a needle. She felt Bass’s muscles tense against her. She looked at the others sitting around the table, they all wore shocked expressions… So it wasn’t a vision… It could still be a nightmare but she was wide awake.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw Bass’ hand go to his gun on his hip holster. She could feel his breath on her ear as he whispered,

“Get under the table when I tell you.” He was ready in any situation.

She nodded but couldn’t find her voice. In fact, she couldn’t look away from her father and brother. They hadn’t aged a day. Her father looked younger than Rachel, Miles and Bass. And Danny was just a teenager. How many years had gone by? She had even found her first white hair… It was a dream.

“Rachel wait!”

Her mother crossed the distance that separated her from Danny and hugged him. 

“How can this be? Are you really here? Aaron?” She was fluffing up Danny hair and kissing his cheek. Her whole face was transformed. She was glowing like she hadn’t in a very long time. It left a bitter taste in Charlie’s mouth. 

“I have no idea… They are saying they are not the nanos.”

Both Miles and Bass groaned in derision, and even Charlie had to agree it was ridiculous.

“Then what are you?” Her voice was very low but at least she could speak.

“We just woke up… In that barn outside of town. We wanted to see the maire to find out what was going on. I remember getting shot…” Her father sounded like he had always sounded. She could still see him dying in her arms and telling to find Miles. His kind eyes were turned towards her. Her dad. Her father, the one she had often called in her dreams. Even Danny was looking at her with that wry smile of his. She wanted to follow her mother example and go to them but she couldn’t move. It was as if there was lead in her muscles, besides, Bass’ hand on her wrist felt like steel.

“A lot of time must have passed… You all look different.” Ben’s gaze paused on Bass and their joined hands. She was ready to protect him just as much as he was ready to protect her. Her gun was in her jacket draped over the chair. She nodded at Bass, her eyes boring into his. He let go of her hand and she stood up. She didn’t go towards them but she looked at her father as she spoke with, she hoped, a firm voice :

“A lot has happened Dad. I found Miles like you asked. And Mom and Danny.. The Republic doesn’t exist anymore,” she felt Bass flinch ,”Neville’s dead. It’s all over- Now we’re just building a new life. I.. There’s so much that happened.”

“Neville?“

“The man who sh… You know. The guy who showed up looking for you?“ Her father looked confused, she looked around. Her mother was still holding Danny but the rest of the room looked as wary as she felt.

She noticed Miles giving Bass a long look. They still had their silent language, something other than she and Bass shared, or from what she shared with her uncle. She was dying to know what they were thinking. A very heavy silence settled around them. Nobody was moving. Far away, she could hear a dog barking, voices even but here, nobody moved. Her father was looking at her like he had always done before. Images were flashing in her mind of her life before he died. It wasn’t the happiest time, without mom, Danny sick all the time but dad had always made it alright. He had kept them safe, warm and somewhat happy. And he was here, his arms were open, one hug wouldn’t hurt? She couldn’t move but her whole body was longing for one warm hug. His voice telling here it was going to be alright when she was a kid. Dad. The tension was broken when Bass suddenly sprung out of his chair to stand next to her, his warm solid body making those visions of the past vanish from her mind :  
,  
“Charlotte? You ok? You look pale.” It wasn’t a question, his hand was around her arm, “Come on. You need some air.“ She was ready to retort but there was something in his eyes, and in Miles’ gaze that made her follow him out. It was that and how pale Bass looked. He was the one who looked like he was going to faint. Her, on the other hand, had too much adrenaline coursing through her body to feel ill. Her desire to hug her father had vanished completely as the warmth from Bass hand spread in her arms and whole body, like a comfortable blanket shielding her from the cold. 

“Yeah. I need some air.“

She could feel her father and Danny’s gaze following her as she waddled to the back door. Bass opened the door and let it slam behind them as soon as they were on the porch. She was glad they were out of that room.

“I’m fine, Bass.“

“I know,“ but his eyes didn’t match his word, “ I know.“

Well to be completely honest, she was as fine as anyone could be if their family came back from the dead.

“This is bad. This is really bad,“ she didn’t know what she was more worried about. His hands were on either side of her shoulders, his eyes in hers :

“Charlotte, I know they look real but you and I, we both know…“

“… They’re dead. I know it’s to them. Like I said, I’m fine.. But mom on the other hand…“ He nodded at her words. No he didn’t have to worry about her. No matter how her heart had hopped in hope, no matter how much she had dreamt of some day seeing them, she had seen far too much to believe her eyes. And yet, would she have reached for her father if Bass hadn’t stopped her?

“You’re tougher than I am,“ his eyes grew dark, “if they showed up… Or Connor, I’d just drink up their cool aid.“

“Somehow I don’t believe that Bass. We’ve all had those dreams, both awake and asleep. They show up, at our doorstep. Behind that tree. And it’s all good again. But we both know it can’t be. It can never be. The nano’s back, and I’m pretty sure you’d be lucid enough to see it if they were showing up looking like your family…“

“I also have that dream sometimes.” Bass offered in a low voice but continued with a more commanding voice, “but that’s not a dream. We don’t know who they are and what they want. We have to tread carefully.”

“Agreed.” She let out a long breath again, she could feel a twinge in her belly. It was nothing. She shook her heard, she wasn’t focused today or maybe, some part of her had know all hell would break lose today, “now what?“

“Now. I take you as far as I can from this place. And then we think about our next step.“

She looked at the door. It sounded tempting. It was unnerving to be in those creatures presence. For a moment there, it had felt like she was speaking to her father. But the minute they had left the room, her brain had kicked in. They were dead. They were really dead. She should know, she had seen them dying. No, she didn’t want to look at those things, but above all, she didn’t want to see her mother looking at them as if they were truly here. She wanted to go home, lock all the doors and go back to bed, pretend like this day hadn’t happened at all.

“What about mom?”

“Your mom’s a tough cookie. And Miles’ here. Let’s just go home.”

“Miles? Bass, my dad saw them together... Even if it’s not really him, I’m not sure it’s such a great idea leaving them all like this,” Bass laughed at her words :

“Don’t worry. Your dad knew about the affair even before the blackout. They weren’t really good at hiding things. Wait here, I’ll go check on them.”

He left swiftly. Charlie took a few steps towards the railing. She didn’t want to go back in and see those faces. Maybe they were a nanite creation or they were real, either way, it was terrifying. She had buried them. She had seen their corpses, dreamt of their rotting bodies. She had buried them. They couldn’t be back. Really couldn’t. She placed a hand over her belly to ground herself. She had to remember, the blood, the graves or else she’d be like her mother hugging these things and thinking they were her family. 

Bass was back with their jackets. They made their way slowly to their house. Neither of them was speaking until they were safely in. Charlie locked the door for good measure. Bass looked up quizzically at her, they never bothered to lock the door because nobody dared to disturb Sebastian Monroe’s household. 

“Don’t judge. I’m freaking out:”

“Not judging. Feel the same way.” 

They sat down on the sofa Bass had once called his bed. They both took out their weapons and scattered them on the coffee table over the book Bass had been reading and the paperwork Charlie had been studying. Night was falling but neither of them got up to light a candle, and very soon they were drowned in darkness. Bass’ arm was around her, her head against his chest. There no words spoken. She knew he was was there. He knew she was struggling. Charlie must have dozed off because she woke up with a start when there was knock at the door. Someone tried the handle :

“Why the fuck is this locked?” She was relieved to recognize Miles’ voice. Bass leaped to his feet to let him in. “What are you guys doing in the dark? Oh actually don’t tell me.” He looked at his friend who was striking a match, “shit has really hit the fan. Real shit.”

“The nano?”

“No, actually I think it’s really them.”

“What makes you think that?” Charlie got up and sat with them around the kitchen table. The flickering flame of the candle was drawing shadows on their faces making them look like wraiths. Well, it did fit the mood : the dead were rising, after all. Miles had dumped an old fashioned plastic box full of food. Bless her mom for thinking about that. The poor roast hadn’t even been properly carved when all hell broke lose. 

“Just a feeling. And Aaron says they are not behaving like nano zombies. At least, now we know who has been stealing clothes and stuff.”

“But why are they back? And how? Miles, dead people don’t come back to life. I should know.“ Bass didn’t look convinced at all.

“Your guess’ as good as mine,” Miles massaged his temple with his fingers, “I just got a very bad feeling. Rachel’s acting a little crazy. Especially with Danny.”

“Rachel is always acting crazy.” sighed Bass, and Charlie joined in :

“Especially when Danny is concerned.”

Miles made a sour face and nodded. 

“Maybe we should wait and see?” Charlie yawned.

“Wait? Until someone gets hurt? We can’t wait.” barked Bass. This time she could see the worry deeply etched on his skin. Right behind his brilliant eye, she could see a blaze of the murdering rage he kept at bay ever since they had build their happy little nest. General Sebastian Monroe had never left and somehow she didn’t mind tonight.

“Yeah we’re not waiting. We’ve got to strike fast,” Miles’ sounded equally lethal. It should make her feel safer, and it usually did. But instead, she felt the ground shift under her feet.  
Her father’s face, Danny’s smile, Rachel finally happy…

“Come on Miles, we can’t just go and kill them. What if there’s more to it? Mom’s never going to forgive you and me.. I just, ” just what Charlie? She thought to herself. Yes, now that she was safe she had to admit that there was a small part of her that was just lapping it up. Her family, the family she had fought for and lost was back. If there was one tiny little chance that it was for real, she couldn’t just lose it. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Yeah.. we need more intel,“ Bass voice was level once more, she looked at him with surprise. Where was the general and the leader? Wasn’t he the one clamoring to kill them? He was watching her carefully. Fuck, she hated how well he knew her now. It was easier back when he didn’t know her at all. Now he knew, and she was completely naked under his gaze. He knew she was scared it was all true.

“You’re just agreeing with her because you’re both married. Who’s the fucking puppy holding a kitten now?” Miles sounded disgusted.

“A what?“ she was mildly annoyed at Bass for suddenly siding with her, as if she was made of glass and needed support. She stared him down, he just shrugged but didn’t look away. Smug bastard.  
Behind them, Miles shuffled to the counter and came back with Bass’ secret stash of whisky. Bass didn’t look surprised at all. It was as if it was a game they had played since childhood : from finding stashed halloween candy to booze.

“You’re siding with me because you’re married to me?“ She emphasized the word married.

“Something like that…” Charlie shot him an indignant look but Bass’ smile made her mellow down, “also it makes sense. We don’t know anything. We need to ask Stay Puft. I’m trying ok? Trying to not shoot everyone on sight. Trying to go back to…” He trailed off, “just saying that it make sense to wait.“

“Sure.“ She wasn’t convinced, she had a nagging feeling he was just agreeing with her to make her feel better. As if she was a little flower. It both annoyed the hell out of her, and awed her. Bass was never the type to ‘wait and see’ but here they were. Miles was nodding. Then again, there was also this gut feeling she often had that a lifetime ago, Bass hadn’t been the type to shoot and ask questions later. Something Miles had once said about their life after the blackout and before the republic. She knew he was truly trying.

As they ate the meat cuttings Miles had brought, they went on talking about the different course of actions they could talk. With the candlelight flickering, eating with their hands and their hushed voices, it almost felt like they were camping out.

“I’ll talk to Aaron… Tomorrow. Rachel’s going to lose it if we move too fast. She’s trying so hard to keep it together… She’s… and I. never mind. Talking of which…” Miles’ gaze dropped for a millisecond “ Can you do me a favor?”

“That depends… I know you Miles. I’m already letting you steal my whisky. What else do you want?” It was heartwarming to see some sort of connivance between both men. Miles let out a dry chuckle.

“Just asking for your couch. Can I stay the night? Can’t stay in the house with Ben around…” Charlie opened her mouth to answer but she realized her uncle hadn’t even glanced at her, he was talking to Bass and Bass alone. Of course he knew she’d say yes in a heartbeat, but tonight he was seeking his friend, brother’s, reassurance. All those stories about them having each other’s back were still echoing in the dark. They were still family, and not just because of her.

“Sure, bro. But no complaining about any noise you hear coming from our bedroom.”

Miles mad a face, his hands cradling his forehead, his voice gruff :

“Thanks. You can be sure I won’t say a damn word about that.” Charlie had to laugh at her uncle’s apparent discomfort. It was a strange life she was living but there was no other life she’d rather live. She could see Bass smile. He had taken hold of his bottle after wrestling it off Miles’ hands. Both men were born for times like these, darkness didn’t scare them. She was pretty sure neither of them would ever survive long in a happily ever after. And perhaps, she wouldn’t either. She yawned.

“You guys can stay.. I’m going to bed.” She kissed Bass lightly on the lips, in spite of Miles’ loud wince. 

As she closed her bedroom door, she could hear Bass complaining :

“Come on. Miles this is our house. How d’you think I made sure you got to be great-uncle? Uh?”

“Shut the fuck up Bass. Told’ya I don’t think about this and I don’t want to know anything.”

“Never thought I’d see Miles Matheson becoming a puritan. How’s life without sex?“

There was a loud crash and Miles mumbling something and Bass laughing.

Charlie smiled a she settled for the night. Nothing existed beyond this little house. She was safe and warm. Her family, these two men she had fought side by side with were here and it was going to be alright. This was just a new battle, as long as they stood on the same side it was going to be ok. Didn’t both men build a whole country? Didn’t she tear it down herself? If the Nano thought it could fuck with them, they had another thing coming. She had barely settled against her pillow before she had drifted off into a deep sleep.

She woke up in the middle of the night and tried to wake herself up from a nightmare but she realized, the nightmare was her reality. Her brother and father were back from the dead, and she was married to the one many called their murderer. She was cold. Her hand collided with Bass’ arm, he was sleeping on his stomach, his arms thrown over his head, their blanket bunched up under him. She nestled against him and breathed him in. It wasn’t a nightmare. On the other side of the door, she could hear Miles snore like he was a train. No it wasn’t a nightmare. Reality was so much more interesting. Her mind wouldn’t quiet down, try as she might.

Instead she let herself drift into her train of thought. Above all, she could hear her mother’s voice. Not the voice of the woman who had been giving her good advice ever since she had confirmed her pregnancy. No, it was the voice of the woman who had fought with Miles about Bass being here, who had called her stupid, who had made her realize she was second best. No. This wasn’t helping. She turned her head to look at Bass. His face was buried in his pillow, his slightly overgrown hair was a curly mess that she liked to tug at when she was kissing him. His strong shoulder, his bare back. There wasn’t enough light, the moon was barely a sliver and there were no streetlights to let her distract herself with the sight offered to her. Instead creeped closer, her hand finding his nape, sliding over his back, to his ass. There was a shift in the air, his breathing pattern had changed. She smiled. She leaned her face, until her lips grazed his neck. Her other hand, snaked under him, to his chest. A light sprig of hair, his flat stomach, more hair and there. Her hand had found the destination and the reaction she had been aiming for : his sharp intake of breath was enough to confirm that. He turned to his side and she was could see his sleepy eyes glimmering in the dark. She knew he wouldn’t mind waking up this way. She could feel him harden under her hand.

“I’m cold. You stole all the covers.“ It was a blatant lie, she wasn’t cold anymore. Not cold at all. On fire. She leaned towards him once more, this time finding his lips in the dark. His mouth was warm and inviting, his arms grasping her closer, gliding over her body. They didn’t need any light to know where to touch. Even if her body, in her opinion, was growing deformed with the pregnancy, he still knew how to hold her and drive her wild. Gone were any thoughts of whatever was awaiting them beyond this house, gone were the cold shivers. Now Charlie was panting against Bass’ throbbing and hard body. She was ending her day with the same way it had started. All the rest was forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is what I was alluding to in my note in the previous chapter, nothing bad just trouble that they have to face together.
> 
> As you can see this kind of trouble only brings them closer. ;)
> 
> A funny thing happens when I'm editing my chapters. I do clean up the writing, correct may things and erase a few paragraph and somehow, I end up with the double of my draft's word count. It's like a magical spell that makes words grow.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Once more, thank you you for the comments, kudos and support. While I'm brewing my morning tea or coffee, I check my emails and even though I'm not a morning person, I start to smile when I see new comments or kudos. Best way to start the day. Thank you a thousand times.
> 
> What did you people think about Bass' change of heart : going from to 'let's kill them' to 'let's wait and see' ? I felt like it was important to show that he's trying to walk the line, and that he is also very aware of Charlie's feelings but I'm always scared to make him sound too tame. I usually draw from that flashback right after the blackout when Miles is killing people and Bass is shocked. It's that Bass I'm looking for.


	13. The hope, the fear, the jealous care

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is taken from 'On This Day I Complete My Thirty-Six Year' by Lord Byron.
> 
> Here's the full stanza :
> 
> “The hope, the fear, the jealous care,  
> The exalted portion of the pain  
> And power of love, I cannot share,  
> But wear the chain.“

One day turned into a week, a week into a month. Charlie looked up from the report she was reading to see Miles dash in. There was new spring in his step, it almost sounded like that of the uncle she had first met. 

“You’re ok, kid?“ She nodded and rolled her eyes at Howie who was mouthing the word kid. Since Miles was so focused on Ben and Danny, Howie and Bass were left to pick up the slack… After a few days of Bass showing up way too late, Charlie had taken matters into her own hands. Willoughby, although it was the quietest of towns most days, couldn’t afford to lose its police force. And the last thing they needed was some official inspection fresh from Austin.

“Howie, you really need to learn how to write,“ she was tired of checking his chicken scrawl. He leaned over her desk to check his report. He was a good guy. She didn’t why he had agreed to keep his mouth shut about Ben and Danny, but somehow he felt more like a friend day after day.

She looked up to check on her uncle. Miles was rubbing his scruffy face. It was nice to find him sitting at the breakfast table. It was less nice to hear his snore while she was trying to have sex with Bass.

“You really should write it again. Neatly this time. If I can’t read it, they will never be able to read your exciting report about how a cow was stolen.“ Howie sighed and went to pour himself a glass of water. She stood up.

“I’m going to the house,“ Miles eyes narrowed, “for my check up.“ The house was the Porter house, home was the place the three renegades that they were now lived in. Miles made a pinched face :

“Right. Be careful.“

She didn’t answer. Careful of whom or what? She glanced at Miles a last time before walking out of the door. Yes, her uncle had needed a war. Bass had also shaped up. Both men drank less, and were more alert. Her, on the other hand, well it was another story.

All she felt was dread when she thought about her back from the dead family. It wasn’t a new target, it wasn’t an exciting project. It was something that made her skin crawl. It felt better to keep away from this crusade. Old Charlie would have kicked and scratched to be in the action, but right now it felt like all she wanted was not to face the action and run as far as she could. 

If only they were wearing the patriot’s uniforms, or even the Monroe Militia garb : it would be cleaner, easier. But this? This was… What did both generals called it? It was psychological warfare. And nobody had any idea why the Nano was doing this.

She had gone a few times to her grandfather’s house as she needed her mother to perform her usual check ups. She usually dashed in and out before she could see either of the two creatures. Most of the time, Bass walked her to the house but waited outside. She knew he’d rather be in there with her but they were both unsure of how Rachel would react. There was something erratic in her ways. She was always on edge, even more than she usually was. And there was the issue of what she must have told Ben about her life after she left her family.

Charlie let herself in from the backdoor. The kitchen was empty. She spied a bundled up piece of cloth that probably contained the bread her mother usually kept for her. She found her in the hallway, behind her, she could see Ben and Danny. She nodded at them but didn’t say a word

After her mother had reassured her that everything was going well, they lingered in the room Rachel used for her patients as one of Willoughby’s midwives.

“How’s everyone at home?“ Rachel’s voice was hesitant but there was no doubt that she wasn’t asking about Bass.

“Miles fine. We’re all just worried about what’s happening…“

“Worried? Why? Charlie,“ her voice was low, her eyes almost soft, “you’ve hardly talked to them Charlie. It’s our family.“

Where was the woman who called her stupid for trusting Sebastian Monroe? Where was the woman who had ice instead of blood in her veins? What the hell was happening here?

“Mom… I don’t want to fight with you but this is way too f…“

“Charlie! You’re the one who’s picking a fight. They’re your family… I just don’t understand how you could trust him. Have… Have a child with him! It makes me sick to think about this… And you cannot even look at your father and brother. He has brainwashed you!“

Gone were the calming deep breath she had been taking.

“For fuck’s sake mom,“ Her mother flinched at her language. It was rare that she truly let her hair down with her mother around, “they are not dad and Danny. They are the Nano. You are the scientist. Can’t you see that?“ She kept silent about the attack on Bass, it could wait. Right now, her mother was acting like a brainwashed zombie. 

“What is wrong with you?“ Rachel’s voice was loud enough to raise the dead.

“What is wrong with you?“ Charlie yelled back. The door was opened and Charlie was relieved to see her grandfather.

“Both of you….“

“Grandpa, mom hast lost it,“ she could hear her mother saying something about her at the same time. Typical.

“Both of you are so much alike. I wish your grandma was here. She’d really laugh about it.“ Charlie narrowed her eyes :

“I am nothing like her. You know what?“ she turned at her mother, “I’m going to talk to them. And I’m going to prove that they are not real.“

“You will not hurt them...“

“Don’t worry, mom, I won’t hurt your precious little machine. I know what they mean to you.“ She gave a long look to her grandfather. He looked at her and her mother again. Of course, her mother’s face had crumpled and she looked like a puppy who had been kicked. But Charlie Matheson, pregnant or not, scared or not, wasn’t going to invite any pity on herself like her mother did so well. She left the room and heard voices coming from the sitting room.

She braced herself for what she was bound to encounter. It was going to sound like them. It was going to mess with her head. She looked down at the rings she wore, rings that she had grown so acustomed to that she barely noticed them. And well, she couldn’t take them off because her fingers were swelling too much these days. Anyhow, this was real, whatever was in this room wasn’t.

Her father looked up when she walked in. He was writing in a notebook. Yes, this is what he would have been doing if he were here. A perfect illusion. Next to him, Danny was looking at her intently. Those eyes, fuck they were good.

“Hi,” she tried. They were not real but she had to pretend they were or else this wouldn’t work. She sat down next to Danny. She could feel the warmth wafting from his body : a real body, like the one that ad bled out in front of her.

“Is everything alright?“ Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea… How the hell was she going to prove they were the Nano? Couldn’t those things read minds or make people burst into fire? Danny didn’t budge but her father’s gaze was on her. His face was so gentle, as if they were back home and he was trying to explain to her that Maggie was only trying to help her.

“Good, Charlie, but strange also… So much has happened. Rachel told me what she knew but there’s so much she doesn’t know,“ his voice wavered, “she couldn’t tell me what happened to Maggie.“

Charlie felt a knot in her throat. They were good, very good. She could already see Bass and Miles’ incredulous faces when she’d tell them about this. She looked at the thing in front of her, that thing who mimicked her father’s loving gaze so perfectly well, the way he always sat with his feet apart, his finger holding his space in his notebook. Where were they getting their information? Her own brain? A echo of the past? She forced herself to imagine her father lying on the ground, blood pouring out of him, dead. Find Miles.

“Charlie?“ She blinked at his voice, trying hard to keep the tears at bay but they wouldn’t stop. Danny hand was holding hers and her father was kneeling in front of her, his hands cradling her face, “it’s alright Charlie.“ 

“Dad,“ no no he was not real. She let herself melt into his embrace. It couldn’t be the nano, it was truly her father. It all melted away, the long road to the tower, the long road to Willoughby, the long and lonely road to New Vegas. She spoke into her father’s shirt :

“Maggie went with me to find Miles. She got hurt… There wasn’t much we could do. I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, “ her voice died down, “dad.“

“It’s alright now. We’re here.“ She heard the door open. She pulled back into the couch, her father stood up, Danny let go of her hand. It was only grandpa. He stood there looking at her, taking in her teary face. He sat down in another armchair. He looked tired, his frown lines deeply etched into his thin face. 

“And what about the guy you liked,” Danny’s question made her frown,”You know? The Neville guy?” She knew at some point those questions would come up with Danny. Of course, it seemed insane that after her puppy love for Jason, he found her pregnant with General Sebastian Monroe’s baby. So the Nano had Danny’s memories. Even now, Jason’s name was enough to make her shiver. She tried to contain it as Danny, the thing, watched her intently. 

Instantly, she wished for Bass’ reassuring presence or Miles’ over protectiveness on this issue, but both men were busy with their own tasks. She was a big girl. Soon to be a mother, actually. She lifted a chin :

“He’s dead too. I don’t know if you were told about the recruitment camps. They messed up kids and brainwashed them into zombie soldiers. It happened to Jason. In the end, he.. I.. He turned against us and he,” her fingernails dug into the palm of her hands as she forced her voice out of her mouth, “he was killed.”

“I’m sorry, Charlie.” She basked in the warmth of her brother’s voice but the respite from her guilty thoughts didn’t last,”who made those camps? Monroe?” 

“No… I told you the Republic gone. He’s on our side. The camps? The patriots did it. You were told about them, right?” She looked at both men but neither looked very convinced, they had left the world where General Monroe was the worst monster they had ever encountered. “It’s the patriots who dropped those two bombs.” She tried again but she knew it wouldn’t work. Why would it? It had taken her a while, and many gestures of good will to see Monroe as Bass, as an ally, friend and later a lover. She couldn’t blame them for still seeing the monster. And now to explain everything? Did they even know about the bombing? They knew what he had done. His republic had teared their family apart, his republic had killed them. He had killed them, she could read it in their eyes. They were watching her carefully, waiting for her next words, she obliged. This was the Nano, not her father, not her brother.

“Bass helped us fight them off. And the leaders are gone with their fake president. But many of their recruits are still striking here and there and we suspect…” Her voice was weakening. Why was she telling them so much? They gazes were full of accusations, of something she couldn’t pinpoint. She thought about her mother : maybe if anyone stared at them long enough, they would forget they were not real. She heard her grandfather clearing his voice and standing up.

“It’s getting late Charlie,“ his voice was a relief, a wake up call. 

“You’re right. I should get going. But we can talk more another time.” She tried to smile. She had no idea how her mother believed even for a second that they were truly themselves. It couldn’t be true, it didn’t ring true. And yet, she had fallen into the trap too, hadn’t she? She could still feel her father’s embrace. How she missed him. How she missed both of them! No she should leave and never come back, never speak to these things again. 

Under their scrutiny, her whole body shivered. Their eyes were taking in every breath she took. She stood up. She waved and said goodbye. As she left the room, Danny followed her and cornered her in the hallway.

“Is it true? You married him? Is it a cover..? Did he force you?” The sudden outburst of passion, after their quiet behavior made her heart rate jump up. 

“It’s true. It’s neither Danny… He’s not what you think he is. It’s more complicated.” She could still see incredulity in his eyes. She added, “he saved my life. Many, many times. And helped us. He’s not just big bad Monroe. I know he did questionable things but there’s more to the story.” Why was she doing this? As if Danny was truly here. As if she was forced to deal with the guilt that she sometimes felt when she thought about her family as she laid next not Bass.

“I just don’t understand. Last I was here, you and Jason…”

“It was a long time ago, Danny. A lot has happened since then:” She crossed her arms over her chest. She was saved from any further questioning as her grandfather joined them. He handed her a folded paper.

“Can you give this to Miles? It’s the address of that doctor in St Judd.”

“Of course. We’ll talk more later, Danny?” but he had already turned his back on her and was going back to the sitting room. She nodded to her grandfather and left the house. Outside, she could breathe deeply. She took her time going back home. All her energy was drained. All she wanted was to crawl in bed. Hopefully, Bass would be back at the station. She didn’t want to deal with him right now.

At least he wasn’t home. Charlie carefully placed the paper her grandfather had given her under a book Bass was reading. Something about the civil war. She had hours before her to do something constructive but both the walk and the interaction with her family had exhausted her. Instead, she went to sit on the couch with her feet on the coffee table. She didn’t want to think about it : her father’s gentle eyes and his strangely mesmerizing gaze and Danny’s reproachful attitude. She didn’t want to think about how they had made her skin crawl, something akin to what she had felt with those brainwashed kids. Something bigger than the patriots was at work and she was terrified. She sat there for a few hours before Howie knocked. She knew it was him because he was the only one who came around other than the family, and he was careful to knock. Her uncle wasn’t so good at this and he had paid the price by walking in on Bass and her busy on the couch or even, once, the kitchen table. Now he just bellowed he was home. She called him in from the couch. She really didn’t feel like getting up.

“Just came to check on you.”

“Tell my asinine husband that I’m fine. Just tired and not giving birth any time soon.”

“He wanted to kn…”

“I haven’t had my lunch yet but I will.” She cut him before he could ask the question she was well used to hear. Bass was in full mama bear mode. She was amused yet annoyed. At least, when he was the one checkin on her himself, there were other perks. 

“Sure… Oh and he told me to tell you that they were both going on the field to take a look at a group of traveling people.”

“Oh?”

“Apparently, they were not authorized by Texas.”

Charlie nodded. It had happen before : many people didn’t know they needed an authorization to travel in a group larger than five people. It was the only way Texas had to control any illegal activities such as war clans, human trafficking and drug dealing. It was on one of those days that Charlie thought about the security the Monroe Republic had provided until the Militia had turned into gangsters themselves. Her scampering around the countryside, or even hunting trips had been possible thanks to General Monroe and General Matheson. And yet, the power had made them lose their heads. It seemed impossible now to imagine that the Republic was gone and both men who had founded it were now working under someone else’s order. Her morning visit was still making her skin crawl, talking to those faces had forced her to think about things she had swept under the rug. She got up and went to stand by the kitchen counter.

She turned her back on Howie as she sliced a piece of bread. She couldn’t stop thinking about it now. How it felt to see her own father die, the terrible threat the Militia felt like. Danny… Fighting Monroe’s men. The man himself. Did he want it back? They never talked about it but now that her brother and father were back, the ghosts of the past were lingering.

“I’ve got to go back. But you sure you don’t need anything?” Howie sounded hesitant. She turned around, hoping her face didn’t betray the dark places she was visiting.

“Is this part of your duties?” She smiled, “or did Bass threatened you?”

“Well.. Actually both of them said you were the top priority.” He grimaced. She shrugged :

“Off you go. I’m fine and I’ll stay fine.”

After Howie left, she went back to slicing the bread to make herself a sandwich. On the road, and while they were fighting the patriots there was hardly any time to think deeply about all this. She did, once or twice, especially when she was on the road with Monroe. But since then, it was too painful to really think, it came in bursts, and left like a puff of smoke. Her hands were steady as she found some dried meat, pickles and butter to make her sandwich. There was no point going down memory lane today either. Maybe after her nap she’ll go back to the station. She’d take paperwork over thinking about the past any day. 

Instead, after a short nap, she decided first to go out to collect some thyme they used for medical purposes and cooking. 

She had been re organizing their supply closet when she heard both Miles and Bass coming in. 

“Just saying all that crap about changing is bullshit…“

“Come on Miles, don’t be a hypocrite. You wanted to beat the living daylight out of them. SOBs like that deserve to die.“

“But not like Conan the barbarian with your bare fucking hands.“

She went found them tending to their wounds over their dinner table. Bass was cleaning his grazed knuckles, and Miles was just self medicating with a brand new bottle of something.

“Spoil of war,“ he announced proudly when he noticed her watching him.

“What happened?”

“Bunch of fuckers trying to take minor girls to New Vegas.” Bass looked and sounded livid.

“You’re ok?”

“Bass just got a little carried away,“ muttered Miles.

“Yeah well.. I’m sorry I don’t show restraint when two guys are talking about little girls like… like they’re nothing.” Bass was shaking his head. He hadn’t sustained much injury, his hands were a mess though. He had split his knuckles but she suspected most of the blood wasn’t his.

“Where are they now?”

“Shallow grave,“ Miles muttered, “they weren’t speaking and beside we know who’s usually behind that kind of crap.“

“The girls?“

“The church shelter. Until we find where they are from.” Charlie nodded. This was the standard procedure. Maybe, she could go see them tomorrow. All these girls will need to be sent back home or their family will come back to collect them. It wasn’t the first time, but it didn’t make it less shocking. She thought about the horrible men she had encountered on the road. Monroe’s finest : Neville and Strausser. Drexel, those unknown guys in Pottsboro, Gould. And him, General Sebastian Monroe who got Nora tortured to an inch of her life, like she was nothing. Her breath caught in her throat. It was a long time ago…

“Charlotte?“ His voice was genuinely warm with a hint of worry, a far cry from General Monroe’s clipped cordiality when they first met. She looked up. His blue eyes were once more limpid, the anger flashing out while he was talking about the traffickers was gone. Now he was once more, Bass her pain in the ass worried husband, “how was the check up? What did Rachel say?“ She shook her head the Nano were getting at her, this was Bass. He had made amends, he had saved her so many times. He was Bass, her Bass.

“Everything’s fine. She’s suspecting it’s only one baby. One chubby healthy baby.“ She saw his whole face light up. She smiled at him and kissed his stubbled cheek. She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, His roughed up hand came to rest on her cheek, keeping her eyes in his, and all the thoughts that had been torturing her today were melting away. She knew what he’d say if she told him about her strange encounter with the Nano. She knew he’d go ballistic for taking ‘unnecessary risks’. No use telling him. He leaned forward and kissed her lips. She deepened the kiss, sliding to his lap. She forgot about Miles until she heard him cough.

“Seriously? Now? This is where we eat.“ She pulled her lips away from Bass and couldn’t help but laugh at Miles. He was making one of those faces, as he leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Miles, you’re no fun,“ Her laughter wouldn’t die down. It felt good, to be held by Bass and laughing with Miles. She was glad to see him smile. He sat down in front of them, keeping his gaze averted from them.

“Charlie, how did your mom look? She’s ok, right?“ She saw a flicker of pain in his gaze. His mom and him had finally come to a good place, only to be pulled apart from the past or Rachel’s own creation, or a mix of the both.

“She’s ok… But there’s something about the whole thing….“ Bass took a sip from the bottle Miles handed him, neither of them bothering with glasses. A quick glance at Bass reminded her to keep her mouth shut about her weird morning.

“Oh by the way, Miles, grandpa sent a message for you. Something about an outer town doctor?” She pointed at the book where she had tucked the note. 

“What?” Miles went to get the book, and retrieve the note. “Oh fuck.. It’s worse than we thought. Gene’s asking for an urgent meeting at the church.”

“I’m not surprised…” Bass mumbled as Charlie pushed his curls away to look at a cut on his forehead but it didn’t look like much. She lost her way into her thoughts about her visit to the Porter house until Miles started to mutter about how many chairs they had in the room and why she needed to sit on Bass’ lap. She didn’t budge. Bass took out an old story about Miles and Connie getting caught by Matheson Sr half naked in his parked car in the garage.

“You were supposed to be on the lookout, traitor.“

“I told you I’d stay until Heather called to tell me the coast was clear.Wasn’t going to wait until you were done to get laid.“ Charlie rolled her eyes. Another story was brought out and both men went on bickering. After a while, Charlie got up from Bass lap to lounge on the couch, with her feet propped up on the coffee table. She was kind of jealous, not of Bass former conquests but of this. : the warmth between both men as they reminisced, they had so many shared memories, not all of them happy but shared nonetheless. There wasn’t anyone but Aaron who knew about her life before her father died. Her thoughts went back to Danny. She couldn’t let the Nano in. She couldn’t let them fool her. She closed her eyes, listening to her two favorite people joking around. Their stories were like a secret hideout where the Nano couldn’t find her.

Later, after Miles dashed away to check on something, Charlie finally stood up. She stretched from her toes to her finger. Bass was still sitting on that same chair, his gaze lost somewhere far away, the bottle midway to his mouth. There was a shadow on his face, a veil over his brilliant blue eyes. 

She considered him for a few minutes, noticing his frown and scowl, as he drank whatever was left in the bottle. She paced around, went to the bedroom but nothing needed straightening up. There was too much pent up energy in her body to settle down, and besides, she had a feeling Bass might be silent but he didn’t want to be alone. She went back to the kitchen. He was looking out of the window. His shoulders were slumped, but his hands tucked into fists.

“Penny for your thought?” She though he hadn’t heard her as he didn’t reply right away. She crept closer, her hand finding his nape, her fingers trying to unknot an invisible weight that he seemed to carry. Her fingers finding their way to his mop of hair, trying to soothe away whatever was in his mind. He turned to face her.

“Just thinking.”

“Don’t say you’re thinking about nothing…” It was his favorite answer when he was worried but didn’t want her to know.

“You won’t like it.” He mumbled, his gaze downcast and his body rigid. Her hands had fallen to her side as she went to sit in front of him.

“Try me.”

“Was thinking about the Republic.” She tried to keep her face neutral but it hit too close to home, too close to her own thoughts today. The Republic, a word that held too many meanings in their household but was rarely spoken about.

“Yeah. I know…, “ his gaze flashed to her face, she was sure she looked grim and he went on,“ Just.. Stuff like what we witnessed today? I did everything to stop that until I became part of the problem. I didn’t want people to get hurt. I wanted them safe. So many of them died because of the nuke but also because I lost it. I just… I just can’t stand it when I see stuff like this happening. I saw stuff like that when we were in the marines… And later, after the blackout. Couldn’t stand it. Had to make things better.. But now? I can’t do nothing. I can’t just follow stupid orders. They have to do something more substantial to stop human trafficking. But I have no power anymore…” He stood up, gaze wavering away from her,” I fucked it up. I really fucked it all up.”

“I thought about it too… About my life under the republic. It wasn’t all bad. You know…” She tiptoed to find his gaze but still he wouldn’t meet her eyes, “When I was a kid I’d roam off. My dad was always mad. Said it was dangerous and all but I never listened. I guess I felt safe enough… And nothing bad happened to me, until my dad… Until Neville showed up.” He was finally looking at her, his blue eyes were limpid, as if he were awaiting her judgment, “What I’m trying to say is that you did your best. That’s all anyone can do. In the end… It wasn’t only your fault. I mean… Not everything was good but it wasn’t all bad. Some of us had an almost normal childhood thanks to you.”

He surprised her by letting out a laugh, “you? You’re the one thanking me… After all I’ve done.” His voice was full of awe, his face vulnerable and naked without his scowl.

“You can blame my hormones.” She beamed but her smile faltered as she thought about her father and brother, they didn’t know who he was as a man, they were not her long lost family. They would have understood if it were really them. Her dad taught her kindness and Danny was like a sunflower. She reached for Bass, he might not know but today he was her shelter. He clasped her to his chest, his lips in her hair. This, this embrace was a real, nothing to do with the Nano pretending to be her dad. This was Bass, her anchor.

“Would you want it back? The Republic?” She kept her face nestled against him, hoping her words would be drowned in his shirt. She could hear his heartbeat : it was strong and even. She always found comfort in it when she woke up from a bad memory in the middle of the night. This last month had been a long nightmare. Will she ever wake up from this?

“I want to say no, Charlotte, I really do. If Connor was still around… If…” She felt his muscles flex and his head rising higher, away from her, “Of course I’d want it back. To make things better.”

She pulled away, challenging him with her eyes. He gave as much as he got with a typical General Monroe frosty stare. Her arms crossed over her chest. 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” He grimaced, “but I also I’d be wrong. I couldn’t do it by myself before..” He was smiling again, looking like her Bass once more, “you could help? Hey! You could be the president. I’d be your second in command. Head of your military.”

Charlie let out laugh mingled with a sign of relief. 

“Who knows? I just might. I like giving you orders.” She raised her eyebrow with an impish smile. His eyes had a playful glint in them :

“You do? Like what?“ His voice was low, like a caress. This man really knew how to make her heart rate hike up in a good way. She cocked her head to the side.

“Take off your shirt, Sebastian.“ She watched as he unfastened one button after the other, his gaze finding hers, “you’re really good at that. Maybe you should switch career.“

“Uhu,“ His gaze pierced into hers, her smile faltering, “I only perform for one woman.“

“Good to know. Now take off your pants.“ Suddenly, she was in no mood to drag this longer, she wanted, she needed him against her, inside of her. When he was looking at her in this way, she couldn’t resist for long. He kicked off his jeans. It was good to know she had a similar effect on him. She licked her lips.

“Now, Charlotte Monroe,“ she opened her mouth to remind him that she would always be a Matheson but he shut her up with a kiss, “now I’m going to take you to our bedroom because the last thing I need today is taking care of Miles because he fainted like a milk maid.“

Miles only came back home to remind them of the meeting. They had fallen asleep in their bed, legs entwined, arms linked, skin against skin, heart to heart.

“You better come out and be dressed in… five minutes or I’m bringing Gene in.“ Charlie blanched and sat up as she heard Miles’ voice through the closed door. Next to her, Bass was still sound asleep. He must have been tired, usually he was the first one to jump out of bed at the first sound. His mouth was open and he looked so much younger than he was. She had seen him sleeping when they were on the road together but back then, he wouldn’t ever had dared to sleep with such abandon. She didn’t want to wake him up. She also knew it was a dangerous business waking him or Miles up from such a deep sleep.

“Bass! Wake up!“ She nudged him from a safe distance. He finally opened his eyes, a hand scrubbing the tiredness from his face, another one reaching for his gun under his pillow. His gaze focused on her and his face was once more relaxed, “hurry up. Miles’ threatening to bring grandpa in our bedroom.“

They rushed to dress up. Bass gave her a long look :

“Maybe you should stay in, you look tired…“

“Shut up, Monroe. You look more tired.“ 

“Charlotte…“

“No ‘Charlotte’. We’re not having this argument again. It’s just a stupid meeting not a hike.“ He finally nodded but he looked pissed. What was he thinking? That just talking about the Nano would make her go into premature labour? Hadn’t they just had sex? It made her angry that even now, he thought her weak and fragile. He should know better. She looked into his eyes, he didn’t flinch. Their angry glare matched

“Can you guys hurry the fuck up?“ Miles voice startled them.

“Okay. I’m sorry… Let’s go.“ Bass conceded. She ignored his hand as she walked out. She loved him more than she could ever admit but he really knew how to annoy the hell out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, thank you for your patience. I don't like posting thing without editing carefully. I've had a lot of things on my plate lately, nothing bad, just a lot.
> 
> I hope I didn't leave out a spelling mistake.
> 
> A I'm leaving in a few hours for the sea (and a few weeks with limited access to the internet) I really wanted to update this fic. I will also schedule the next chapter for next sunday, as I'm not really sure I'll be able to post it myself.
> 
> Once more, thank you for your support. It means the world for me. I will try to reply to your comment with my morning coffee before I leave, but if I am not able to, I will do it when I get back or when I have internet access. Thank you for the lovely comments, I really appreciate and enjoy them.
> 
> Who do you feel bad for the most? Charlie and the horror of having to see those familiar faces? Rachel and her love for her dead child? Gene who has to live with his daughter and the Nano version of his grandchild and son in law? Miles who has to sleep at Bass' and Charlie's and bear their sex life? Or Bass freaking out because Charlie is pregnant? Or poor Howie who has to check on Charlie and work for both Generals?
> 
> I do hope you enjoyed this chapter!!!
> 
> I'll also take the liberty of recommending a fic to you (if you haven't read it before) : The Scent of the Ocean in her hair by Loveforthestory. I will be thinking about this lovely fic once I get to the sea. It's so so beautiful.


	14. A cruel illusion

Charlie, Bass and Miles made their way to the church. It was dark now. Both men were flanking here, as if she needed it. She kept her pace fast. Maybe they were not doing it on purpose but her argument with Bass had left her on the edge of a lot of anger. She had had enough of his mothering.

The church was dark, save for a few candles. Aaron was already there. Miles was looking around, peeking out of the window.

“Relax Miles. He’ll be there.” Bass instantly beckoned his friend. Usually he was the one acting nervous but Miles didn’t look like himself. Charlie noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his pale skin. He always had a ‘weather beaten’ kind of look but lately he looked like a pale version of himself. His eyes bright but haunted. Bass on the other hand had never looked better. Seeing the concern in Bass’ face for Miles softened her up. Maybe they weren’t mothering her, they all just cared about each other. This was what it meant to be in a family.

Charlie sat down in the cramped minister office. The man had lent the premises in good faith to Aaron to organize a secret birthday party for Priscilla. Gene finally rushed in.

“Sorry. I had a hard time coming up with an excuse to be out…”

“You usually don’t find it so hard to be a double agent….” mumbled Bass.

“Not so easy when Rachel is in charge of my timings and now there aren’t any other expecting mom ready to deliver today.”

“So what did you say?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is...There’s nothing wrong with either of them. They are perfectly normal human beings. The only thing that has changed is that Danny health is pristine and Ben is missing that scar from that bike incident.”

“Brand new robots..” muttered Bass.

“Medically speaking, they are perfect. But how? How can they even be here. Is this another trick of your nanos, nanites whatever they are?” Gene turned towards Aaron. The latter just shook his head, offering them an equally confused face.

“There’s something wrong but I just cannot point out anything medical… And Rachel doesn’t want to hear anything. Something about their eyes.” Both Bass and Miles mumbled something Charlie couldn’t catch but she could guess. Her mother always had the uncanny ability to focus on whatever she truly wanted and ignore reality. Hadn’t she abandoned her beloved children to run off to find her former lover? Even in the recent months, every time Charlie had broached the subject, her mother had refused to offer anything. She noticed Miles’ drawn face and felt her heart sink. He did truly love Rachel and this whole thing was weighing on him. That’s why he was running around, organizing secret useless meetings.

“What did you think Charlie? The conversation this morning was strange to say the least.“ Her grandfather turned earnestly towards her, and she had to take a deep breath in.

Oh crap. She had hoped her grandfather wouldn’t get into this. She could feel both Bass and Miles staring at her.

“Yes, it was strange. She kept her gaze on her grandfather and Aaron. She didn’t look at the other two to know that they were both upset she hadn’t mentioned it until now, especially Bass, “they have all the memories Dad and Danny would have. But they kept on asking questions, like they wanted to collect information.“

“Yes but Ben seemed to genuinely care about you when I came in…“ She quickly interrupted him :

“Yes, yes. It was like they wanted me to believe they were truly them. And there’s something in their eyes,“ she blinked, trying to forget their eyes that were sweeping her like surveillance cameras,“something that made me want to say everything.“ Finally, she glanced at Bass and Miles. They were both standing with their arms crossed over their chest, scowling like she was a misbehaving recruit.

“Other than that there was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing that made them seem dangerous.“

“But Danny did corner you in the hallway,“ she wanted to shake her grandfather. Why on earth would he mention that. From the corner of her eyes she noticed that Bass had cocked his head and was stared intently at her. Miles was shaking his head :

“Cornered you? And you’re only mentioning that now?“

“My thoughts exactly,“ said Bass through his teeth.

“Let’s not get into this,“ she gave them a sharp look : it wasn’t like they didn’t keep things from her, “he was just asking some questions that the Nano thought he’d ask if he ever came back from the dead. It wasn’t a big deal.“

“They aren’t behaving in a dangerous way. They’re maybe just…“ Her grandfather explained.

“Observing,“ added Aaron, “I caught Priscilla riffling through my papers and asking questions about the political system. Last time the Nano infiltrated her, she, they, just wanted to feel how it is to be a human. Now it’s like they’re gathering intel.“

“But they aren’t harming anyone,“ Gene looked worried and Charlie could bet it was because of her mother. The last thing they needed was to help her through another breakdown.

“So in short there’s isn’t much we can do. We can’t lock them up just because they are back from the dead.” Charlie could see everyone nodding to her words but Miles and Bass were still keeping their rigid stances.

“We need to find out more… Talk to them, grill them.. I mean, Miles and I..: And Gene.” added Bass with a hint of steel. Charlie raised an eyebrow and looked at him :

“No way. We can’t do that unless they have done something wrong. I’ll talk to them… I’m sure Danny, it, could”

“Not you,” Bass growled. Charlie glared at him :

“Seriously? You’re on thin ice Monroe,“ she could feel the others shift about nervously as she stared at Bass who didn’t give in an inch, “I’ll do whatever is necessary. Just like you.“

“Like hell,“ his hoarse whispered would have sent chills down the spine of a lesser woman but she was Charlie Matheson. She was about to find the right word to take that smug look out of his face but Miles cleared his throat.

“Charlie’s got a point. Danny might talk to her.” Miles was leaning against a wall. Bass was shaking his head but he was quiet, his gaze on his friend. Charlie knew this was far from over.

“I’ll try to talk to Priscilla but she doesn’t talk. She doesn’t say anything. I tried after I caught her looking at my stuff but nothing,” offered Aaron.

“Okay. So let’s force them to ‘fes up. When’s the next roast dinner?” Miles asked Gene. The older man shook his head :

“I’m asking you, Miles. You’ve been avoiding the house.”

“I’ll talk to mom.” Charlie chirped in. Why waste more time? She knew Bass was going to be pissed but she’d have to remind him that he didn’t fall in love with a frail little thing but with a warrior that he fought with and against.

After discussing the logistic of their plan, they all went their separate way. Miles and Bass were silent until they got to the fountain, at that point Miles just shook his head :

“Listen kid, I know I can’t stop you from doing whatever you want. Just try to keep the stupid to the minimum?“ He turned at Bass and smirked, “Remember brother that you married a Matheson. We’re stubborn as fuck. Now that I’ve imparted wisdom on you two fools, I’m going to the bar. And I’m going to get drunk. I hope that by the time I come home, you’re not yelling at each other but more than this… You better remember you have a fucking bedroom.“

With that, Miles left them alone. Charlie made a beeline for their home. Bass followed her, she didn’t need to hear him to know how angry he was. As soon as the door was closed behind him, Bass let it out :

“Alright. I get it Charlotte. I get it… I know fucked up it all is. I know they look like just them… I know why you’d want to talk to them, but why didn’t you tell me about it?“ Did he look hurt under this angry downpour? “I thought we were at that place where we shared everything.“ He looked almost embarrassed to blurt that out, crossing once more his arms over his chest, his eyes blazing and his mouth in a snarl.

“That’s why I didn’t tell you,“ she kept her voice low in spite of the sharpness, “you freak out whenever I take a step out of the house. You’re acting like something is going to happen to me. And I know, “her voice was lower as she crept closer, her hands slipping into his crossed arms to find his, “ I know why you’re nervous. But I need this. I need to be able to do my stuff. Especially now.“

She finally found his hands, she held on for dear life as they stared at each other. They had been here before and they’d probably back at this place. She knew, he knew. They knew each other better than anyone else did, well maybe with the exception of Miles. But even Miles didn’t know what only their eyes could grasp.

And finally, the armor slipped to the floor as Bass opened his arms to hold her close. They were quiet, the storm had died down. They just stood there, holding each other.

“Okay. You do your thing but Charlotte… But Please…“

“I’ll be careful. It’s time you learned to trust me. Ok?“ her voice was raw with unshed tears. She pulled back a bit, remaining in the circle of his arm and looked up into his eyes. There, his blue eyes were like a harbor in a stormy sea. Safe. It a lll made sense when she could find his gaze in the distance. Even when he had just been a pain in her ass, even when she barely trusted him. Something had been forever drawing her there, here.

“Wanna talk about it?“ He surprised her, he always surprised her. He was a man of steel and blood, quick to draw, the last to survive. And yet, as her husband, he was like a pillar. He knew how it must have affected, he knew how distraught she had been. She shook her head :

“I don’t need to anymore.“ She smiled, “let’s go to bed.“

“That’s my favorite option“. He smirked. She playfully smashed his ass, earning an intense searing gaze, “what? Afraid of being challenged General?“ She brushed her lips against his and before he could kiss her back, she was off. She knew she couldn’t be as stealthy as she used to be, but he let her rush to their bedroom door. She looked over her shoulder, he looked back from the spot he was standing in.

“I’m disappointed. Really, maybe I should go find a younger version. Maybe Howie?“ There was a light smile, a possessive glower and barely any time before he was standing before her.

His hand found her backside, his fingers digging into her, his other hand lifting her dress.

“Best part of pregnancy,“ she made a face. She didn’t find it so fun that she hadn’t been able to find any pant that fit, and had to wear dresses instead. It did make things more practical with Bass. He kissed her gently, as his hand found her bare flesh. They staggered into their bedroom, slamming the door shut and pulling at each other’s clothes so that their flesh could meet again.

The next few days went by vey fast. Bass and Miles were suddenly caught up in the midst of a drama between a teen and his grandparents who had taken him in after his parents died. The teen had decided to act up by stealing the neighbors’ chickens and selling them to a guy in another town who made the best fried chicken in the area. He was planning to leave for New Vegas with his hard earned money when Bass and Miles caught him just a few miles away from Willoughby. Saturday night they told the story to Charlie who couldn’t stop laughing. They had scared the boy so much he had sworn never to disrespect or disobey his grandparents. Miles was pretty sure he’d stay awake thinking about how soldiers were made in the Monroe Republic.

The Sunday roast was organized as it used to before the big return.Except that Bass cooked at their own place and transported some of the food. While Bass was giving orders to Gene, Aaron and Priscilla, Charlie was hanging out with her brother on the porch. The weather was delicious, a cool breeze was whispering in her ears but the sun was shining.

“So that’s all you do all do? Read? Come on Danny! I need to take you out for an adventure.” It was hard to sound genuine, Charlie was focusing on their shared memories to conjure up the brother who had died before her.

“You won’t get very far.”

“Yeah. that’s just for now. I usually go on the field with Bass and Miles. As soon as I can, I’ll go back.”

“Seen a lot of action?”

“Yeah. After the tower, there was a lot. I even went off on my own to New Vegas.” She bit her lip : some memories were better not shared with her younger brother or the thing pretending to be him.

“What about you?”

“What do you mean? You know how much action I have seen until I was killed by Monroe’s helicopter.”  
Charlie was quiet as she looked at her brother. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to provoke her or was just saying his mind. She was also surprised at herself. Her thing for Bass had grown so subtly and in such a long stretch of time that she hadn’t realized how protective she was of him. She wanted to defend him right now, but how could she? Danny had died because of his helicopters. She had found a way to let it go, but now Danny was saying it in front of her, reminding her of a past that shouldn’t be forgotten. It wasn’t Danny, she reminded herself. It didn’t matter because this wasn’t Danny. It was just an illusion.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I just thought.. Maybe you had been somewhere else before you showed up here.”

“No. We woke up around here. “

“So you don’t remember anything after… after you got shot?”

“There isn’t anything to remember, Charlie. One minute I was dead, and the next I was waking up here. That’s all.” He looked away and something stirred in Charlie. There it was, that fishy thing about Danny and Ben. This was Danny, this was his honest young voice and yet, she couldn’t believe him. The voice, the pitch, the face, almost everything fit but not that little spark.

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean?” he was on his feet, his face red and his eyes blazing, “Of course I’m sure. Why are you doing this? I told you, I died because of Monroe and I woke up here. If someone should be answering questions, it’s you! What are you doing with him? Are you crazy Charlie or are you just that easy?” This was definitely not Danny. Never in his life had he said stuff like this.

“What the hell Danny! This isn’t you!” Never, ever her brother would have said such a thing. She couldn’t recognize the madman towering over her. She’d have to push him aside to get away, everything was happening so slowly.

“How do you know who I am? Your left me to rot. And went to bang the guy who killed me”, his voice was rising with every word, “You’re the one who isn’t you. What is wrong with you Charlie?” Hissing, her sweet baby brother was hissing. This wasn’t him, this wasn’t a person. His eyes were terrifying, like something out of a dream or long lost memory of something she had seen on tv, something she wasn’t supposed to see. Those eyes were chilling her blood. She looked away.

Her heart was beating in her chest and she felt faint with terror. Her hand went to her boot and she got up as swiftly as she could, she stabbed him on the arm but he pushed her away, she lost her footing. A pair of strong arms caught her, and she could hear shouts. Bass had her, and Miles was standing in front of them yelling at Danny. Her brother was still red and sweating profusely, the language he was using was so unlike him. Miles pulled him out of the porch into the garden. Rachel came out, she turned at Charlie :

“What have you done?” but before Charlie could reply to her mother’s icy words, Bass voice boomed out of his chest :

“Save it Rachel. She didn’t do anything. That freak had it coming.” Rachel followed the direction Miles and Danny had taken.

“Charlotte? Charlotte, you’re ok?” His voice as gentle with her, and she could finally close her eyes and let her weight rest on him.

“I’m ok. Just a little scared. I don’t know what happened… This isn’t him. This isn’t Danny. It’s something twisted, using his face… It’s horrible.” Her voice wavered as she gave in to tears. She was losing her brother all over again. This is the reason why she had been so vary of them. She knew it, in her bones something would happen. These things didn’t happen in real life. And now they had their proof. Never ever Danny would have behaved like this. Danny was dead. It hit her again, like the first time. Damn, once more the Nano had messed her up.

“Hey Charlie.. You’re safe now.” He rarely called her Charlie but hearing his warm voice saying her nickname, after the horrible screeching of her brother’s voice was like a healing balm.

“Let’s go in,” she sighed.

“You’re kidding, right? What we need is to get out of here.”

“No.. We are getting somewhere. I’m fine now. Let’s go in.” He knew well enough there was no point in arguing when she had some steel in her voice.

As soon as they got in, Bass called Gene. But Charlie was fine and they were both settled on the couch. Ben who had been who knows where came in hesitantly. Charlie didn’t need to look at Bass to know that he was glaring at her father, at the thing pretending to be her father. She had to keep her focus, not look into his eyes.

“Danny’s always been a bit sensitive…” Charlie bit back the urge to contradict him. Although Danny’s health had been weak, his spirit hadn’t. He might have died because of his naivety but he had never been screaming like a hysterical maniac. She had shielded him for so long, it just didn’t make sense.

“It’s ok dad. I’m sure he didn’t mean to scare me.” Her voice devoid of any emotion, feeding the right set of words to this machine.

“You can’t blame him for overreacting Charlie.. With.. It’s just a lot to take in.” Her father’s eyes darted from her to Monroe and back at her but thankfully he didn’t say anything else. Charlie could feel Monroe’s arm around her shoulder, it was like being wrapped under a steel rod. She knew he was acting protective but without looking at his face, she knew the General was back for the day.

“Is everything going well with the ah.. The pregnancy?”

“Yes. I’m due very soon. Mom and grandpa have been checking me. It’s all going well. We’re very excited to meet the baby.” Her own voice was mechanical, she wasn’t talking to her father but to a stranger who had the same face, to a thing.

“Back then we could find out the sex of the baby. With you, the whole family was very excited. Your grandma, mom, wanted to call you Iris like her own mother but… I thought about Charlotte. It was the name of a princess in Europe. You came to the hospital, didn’t you? With Miles?” He was looking at Monroe.

“Yeah. We were back from a tour.” Her husband was mumbling, sounding neither like Bass nor Monroe. The return of Ben and Danny had made things different. And perhaps, her father had wanted to emphasize their age difference or he was just being polite, she couldn’t tell. Was the Nano playing with them or trying to get more information?

“With Danny it was more complicated... “ He trailed off, his gaze to the door. “I’ll go check on them.”  
Charlie let out a long breath after her father had left the room. Bass grip lessened, and his arm slid to her back.

“You still think we’re a good idea?” She finally looked at him, the careful face of General Monroe was gone. Instead a worn man was staring back at her with a tenderness that even now surprised her.

“Of course I do. We’re the only thing that makes sense right now.” She was relieved to see his smile matching hers, “you’re saying that because of what he said? It.. It’s not even my father. It’s playing with us. Trying to find what makes us tick.“ If the Nano had already started to poke at Bass and he was reacting, they were already fucked.

“I know. I know… It’s just, “ he pinched his nose with his free hand, “It’s just uncanny. And I don’t think this whole plan is a good idea Charlotte. We gave it a try. Unless we do something drastic it will keep on playing with this. Maybe we should just forget about this stupid meal and go home, Miles and I will come up with something more efficient.“

“We have to stay. At least we’re going somewhere. I can now guarantee that this wasn’t my baby brother. This was someone else… Something else.” She pulled out the blood splattered knife from her boot. It had been only a superficial cut, something to make him back off, “I shouldn’t have used this. It feels wrong. It looks exactly like Danny.”

“No. You did the right thing, Charlotte. As soon as I heard him screaming, I dropped everything.” His voice was low but with a hint of iron, “Promise me : no more heart to heart with either of them. Unless I’m around… Or Miles.” She could feel a flutter in her stomach. The baby was agreeing. She was relieved nothing had happened to it. And if it weren’t with the baby she would have vehemently fought this. If it weren’t for his eyes, she would have shook her head and told him to back off, like the last time they talked about this. She was strong enough to withstand anything but not right now. Right now, it wasn’t about her. And this Nano was playing a game that neither of them could understand.

“Ok. I promise but only for now. Once the baby is here, I’m going back to being me.”

“I wouldn’t want it otherwise.”

“And you can stay home.”

“You read my mind.” His grin made it unclear whether he was joking or he meant it. The previous terror and angst had dissipated, now she was once more basking in the happy hopes she had been carrying.

“Even if we get two of them?”

“Two screaming mini-Charlies? Yeah, fucking yeah, I’ll be the best stay at home dad.” It didn’t matter whether he was joking or not, they were together. Nothing the Nano could mess with.

Later they all settled around the table to eat. Danny had his arm bandaged and was sitting between his mother and father. Charlie was flanked by both Miles and Bass. The usual easy and cosy atmosphere that presided over their dinners was missing today. Aaron was talking about a festivity organized in the town today.

“What did you say it was called?” Charlie asked.

“Festival of light. Everyone brings candles to the fountain. The Renmar brothers will bring their guitars and sing. There’ll be food. I’ve invited the neighboring villages.”

“Wow! Stay Puft you’re the heart of the party.”

“Actually, we had lots of parties at our place. Fancy people and all… Well, before the blackout.” Priscilla said with a smile. She looked lovingly at Aaron who managed to smile back but looked like he was staring at a monster. Charlie knew that smile. It was the same she saw him keep for little Robbie who always needed someone to remind him to blow his nose or wash his hands.

“We also had lots of barbecues.” Danny’s speech was labored and slow, as if someone had knocked him on the jaw. Miles’ gaze was on his plate, while Rachel was pouring water for Danny. Her mother had barely acknowledged her since the incident. No doubt, she blamed Charlie for the whole thing. Even a fake Danny was more precious than her.

A thought suddenly occurred to Charlie, why did Danny talk about those barbecues as if he had been there. She peered at him curiously, he seemed relaxed enough, as if it was normal for him to mention this. And yet, growing up, she had been the one remembering things from the pre-blackout world and he always saying he couldn’t remember because he had been so young. Even her memories were jumbled up. Barbecues? Maybe she could remember her father cooking something over an open fire but she couldn’t tell if it was before or after the Blackout.

“You remember?” Gene’s trembling voice echoed the question Charlie didn’t dare to ask.

“Yeah. I was very young but I remember.” He challenged his grandfather with a cold look, making Charlie’s skin crawl. She looked at her mother but she didn’t look concerned. She wanted to throw a dinner roll on her head. Her mother was completely under the spell of these creatures.

“Well, now we have Sunday roast!” interrupted Aaron in an artificially jovial tone. His eyes avoiding everyone’s gaze. After that, everyone other than the Nano-creatures ate fast, as if the house was on fire. As soon as Charlie had shoveled her last spoonful in her mouth, she turned to her grandfather.

“We’ll be going. I feel very,“ a genuine yawn made her pause, “tired.“

“Good idea,“ Bass added, and Miles nodded vigorously.

They left fast, without even taking any leftover,other than the apple juice Rachel remembered to give them. They knew this encounter had left them with a lot to discuss later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> The Nano or whatever they are are really messing with Rachel and with Charlie. Do you think it's working on Charlotte? What do you think they are trying to do?
> 
> I thought I could schedule this chapter but since I can't and I have no idea if I'l be able to to have internet access during my trip, I'm posting it today. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up very soon!
> 
> Thank you for you support, comments and kudos. It means the world to me.


	15. Poisonous rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm finally back from my vacation.  
> Here's the next chapter! I hope I didn't make you wait too much.

Once more, it was as if the whole world had been pulled from beneath them like a carpet. And now the ground felt different and was shifting constantly. It would never stop. For a split second, Charlie’s mind strayed to a place she rarely indulged in : what if the blackout hadn’t happened? Would she still have her dad and brother? Would she still have the two men walking on either side of her?

Her gaze was drifting through the usual moods of Willoughby in the late afternoon but all she could see was her childhood home : college, a job, a boyfriend. Thanksgiving dinner with the family, introducing her new boyfriend. Now that would be normal from what she had gathered from those who had known the world before it ended.

And who would have been that boyfriend? Someone normal, as normal as she would have been. Jason? Her gaze drifted to the man she had married. Would have normal Charlotte fallen head over heel for Sebastian Monroe? Would he have noticed her? Would Miles have kept on with her mother? Her gaze went to the left, Miles walking so close to her, as if he wanted to protect her from the world, like the father he wasn’t. What a far cry was he from the man she had hunted down in Chicago. What about him? What would have the world without the blackout make him into?

Would they have found each other? If not, she didn’t want that no blackout world. There was no other place she wanted to be in than here and now, walking between these two men who were the only family that still stood by her. She bit her lip as she remembered Danny and her dad before they died but she couldn’t imagine having them back again, that world was gone, that Charlie was gone. The dead should remain dead and no amount of ‘what ifs’ could soften the holes in her heart they left behind. Her eyes focused once more on her surroundings.

Now what? It seemed their walk back from the Porter house was taking more time than it ever did before, as if he whole weight of what they had experienced was making them slower. 

Miles was now a few steps ahead of her, the back of Bass’ hand was brushing against hers, even though his gaze was fixed in the distance, she knew what had happened today had upset him, in some way more than her. She could feel his murdering rage seeping out of his body, his gaze was cold and sharp like that of this General she had once met but it was kept at bay, hidden inside of him, behind that clenched jaw and that frown. He was holding himself back, keeping himself from taking the steps he wouldn’t have hesitated to take as President Sebastian Monroe. For her? For Miles? For the general good? His reasons were his but it was enough to show her that he was a changed man and still himself.

As they walked past the fountain, Charlie saw that people had started to light candles although sunset was in a long time. The Renmar brothers were already strumming their guitars. Girls loved them… Barely into their twenties, twins with that perfect lock of hair that fell over their green gold specked eyes and matching smiles. Charlie noticed that the thinner of the pair winked at her. If it were another day, she would have stopped and chat. She would have loved to feel Bass jealous annoyance at these pretty friendly boys. But today they had enough to keep them up all night, and not in a good way.

“We should light a candle,“ Charlie said absentmindedly. Miles rolled his eyes and Bass made a face, his gaze finally flickering to hers.

“You both need to be liked by the people here. Doing stuff like them. Maybe it’s time you made an effort.“ She could read on their faces as clearly as she always could, “I know we’ve got other problems. But that doesn’t change our other problems. Like why nobody is volunteering to be your deputies or being helpful with ongoing investigations…“

“Okay, okay,“ Bass was visibly annoyed, his gaze no longer holding the aloof cold power of General Sebastian Monroe. Miles nodded too :

“Okay. I’ll just drop these bottles on our porch,“ He left nonchalantly with the box of bottles apple juice and moonshine they had brought back from the Porter house. He will take his time. He hated sentimental stuff like that, so did she, but they really needed to fit in. And maybe, it would work in some way to dispel the lingering presence of the past.

“Come on,“ She took Bass’ hand as they made their way to the people sitting by, sharing greetings and comments about how nice this celebration was. She noticed none of them ever made eye contact with Bass, they were polite some even nice to her but that was it. When Miles finally joined them people were a tad bit more friendly. They went to the candle stall.

“How does it work?“ Charlie wanted to know.

“Basically, everyone lights a candle for the person they’ve lost. For every lost loved one, there will be a candle. And the candles will give us hope.“ The teenager behind the stall explained. Her parents were forever volunteering at the church. They were the kind of people who talked about hope and light. Their teen daughter seemed to be one of those blessed kid who hadn’t been touched by the darkness that came from the blackout.

“You can pick more than one,“ she offered with her bubbly voice. Charlie looked at her and wondered if she had ever sounded like that at age. No, she hadn’t. She had already lost her mother on the side of the road, she had already lost her father to Maggie, she had already spent thousands of nights listening to Danny’s labored breathing. 

Charlie’s attention drifted to the thick ivory candles and started to count. Dad, Maggie, Danny, Nora, Jason, Connor, people she couldn’t remember. Grandma… 

“One per person we’ve lost?“ the young woman nodded, “I think we’ll need a whole bunch of them.“

Of course, Willoughby had their share of loss but maybe it wasn’t so brutal if they could turn it into a celebration. It suddenly felt so phony. How could they do this? Light a candle and feel better about that loss? How do people managed to feel this way.Right behind her, both of her men were silent, she could only imagine the faces they must be making. This really wasn’t their scene.

“How many times must the cannonballs fly before it’s forever ban? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.“ Joe Renmar was singing. She had heard the tune somewhere. It sounded familiar. His voice was soft and gentle, as if he were praying.

“Maybe we’ll just take one each.“ Bass’ voice wasn’t betraying any emotion, clipped and smooth at the same time. They took their candles and made their way back to the fountain. People were laughing, chatting, singing along with Joe : more smiles than tears for the bereaved people of Willoughby. 

“How many ears must one man have before he can hear people cry? How many deaths will it takes till he knows that too many people have died? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind.“ Others were singing along. She hated the song, it hit too close to home but it followed her as she leaned over the fountain to light her candle with another one.

They lit their candles in silence, and left them in front of the fountain. They stood side by side, as if they were in a vigil. As if this meant something to them. Charlie was the first one to turn away and go back to their home, hearing Bass and Miles walking right behind her. Once more, neither of them was talking. She knew they must feel the same. The simple good people of Willoughby were lucky to find solace this way. It wasn’t a comfort the Matheson-Monroes had. Instead, their dead were back to haunt them and making sure they never healed. Their dead and regrets were too numerous to be set free with a candle each. It would take a whole city full of light to perhaps let their grief seep out of their dry eyes. And even that would only be possible once their loved ones had stopped clawing out of their dreams and walking into their everyday life.

As soon as they got in, Charlie made a beeline for her bed. She was too tired, more tired than she had ever been. It was only when her head reached her pillow that she heard Bass raging at Miles with barely suppressed temper :

“What were you doing in the basement? She almost got hurt!” There was a huff :

“What were you doing? Last I heard, you promised to keep her safe!”

“I was.. I am! But you? You should have been there. Your nephew is a psycho! I mean that thing,“ Bass was trying hard not to yell, she could tell, but his voice was booming through the house. At least he was yelling and not going into full General Sebastian Monroe mode yet.

“... If it weren’t for Rachel… I couldn’t stop myself. He wasn’t my kid nephew anymore. I shouldn’t have hit him like that. But haven’t seen Charlie so scared in my life. And I’ve seen her scared many times.” Miles’ voice was lower, like he was thinking aloud. She heard the kitchen chairs being dragged. The telltale sound of a bottle being set on the table.

Their voices went down to a murmur until Bass yelled :

“No! I don’t give a fuck. She’s not doing that. I’m not putting her in danger again!”

“It’s not up to you to decide Bass. I want her safe as much as you but this is Charlie’s decision.” Miles tone was commanding, like the General she had never met. Charlie’s eyes were wide open, her gaze on the closed door.

“Bullshit. You just want Rachel back. It’s always about Rachel. And you only remember Charlie when it’s convenient. She deserves better.” Bass insight made Charlie’s heart swell. He had noticed, he knew. Of course, he knew. It also made her flush. She didn’t need anyone to talk on her behalf. She wouldn’t beg anyone for attention. She knew Miles well enough to know that he didn’t mean to forget about her, his attachment to Rachel went beyond anything.

“Don’t make it into this. Charlie and I have our own thing. Leave Rachel out of this.” The bottle slammed on the table.

“How can I? It’s all about her. It’s always going to be about her. But what about Charlotte? What about her?“ It wasn’t a scream, it was a raw gruff growl. Today’s events had really made a dent into Bass.

Charlie sighed and stretched her legs. She knew it was pointless to try to have any rest this afternoon. And she was also tired of resting. One foot after the other, she sat on the edge of the bed. A last yawn, and she was up.

Bass and Miles were standing around the kitchen area. They both looked towards her as she made her way to join them.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

“Nothing.” Bass was quicker but Miles was not to be stopped:

“You made him react. We need to find out more.”

“I don’t mind doing it but I’m not sure he knows anything else… He kind of reminds me of Jason.” A deep breath and she went on, “it’s like he’s programmed. Or it’s something else inside of him. I mean… How did he know about the barbecues? He sounded like he remembered them but he was so young! I can hardly remember them. Maybe I can run some other questions...” She was glad to be of use, lately all she was was pregnant. Now, finally she had something to do that could help. She crossed her arms over her chest as she saw Bass’ face. Of course he’d hate it.

“No, no, no… Charlotte.” Bass voice was low but his eyes were ablaze : blue eyes full of flickering flames. 

“Come on Bass. It’s just…” Miles tried to interfere, his hand on his friend’s shoulder. Bass shrugged him off. Charlie watched them with a wry smile, it was always the same story. It didn’t matter. She will be doing what she thought was best.

“No! It’s not just.. It’s something we don’t know, that lashes out in ways that we can’t predict. For fuck’s sake, we can do better. We’ve done better. There are other ways to make people or things talk.“ Bass’ face was once more controlled but she could see the darkness seeping into his brilliant blue eyes, his back too rigid. Maybe, it scared her sometimes to see how much she meant to Bass but he knew her better than anyone else, he must know she couldn’t sit back. 

“So what should we do? Torturing a bunch of ipeople?” Miles made a sour face as he took another swig from his bottle. iPhones, right, he was referring to computers and such with ipeople, Miles turned to Bass,“got any suggestions other than saying no?“

“I say we use every method in our book to make them talk” Bass’ arms were crossed over his chest, mirroring her own gesture.

“Seriously? You think they’re really going to talk? They’re machines, “ Charlie painfully articulated. Her mind was racing, what if? No, no they were not her family, they were some Nano devices trying to fuck with their minds. Bass didn’t budge, his arms still crossed and his gaze once more hard and cold.  
She knew he wouldn’t be moved. She looked at Miles, her uncle looked less convinced.

“Mom won’t roll with this,“ she heard Bass’ sharp intake of breath but Miles looked at her and nodded.

“She’s going to hate this. Maybe we should wait.“

She sat down and sighed :

“... Let’s wait and see what Aaron has to say.” 

Bass was pacing, not looking at them. Miles turned towards him :

“Come on Bass. We both know it might not work the way we want to. They might be immune to torture. So let’s wait until Aaron gives us more. He knows this kind of stuff better than us. They are not people, soldiers, they are machines.“ she saw her uncle make eye contact with her husband. Bass stood still, staring at Miles without flinching, she could barely see him breathe. She didn’t like to see him this way. Yes, he’d protect them, yes he’d do everything but seeing him like this made her throat go dry. It took him a few minutes before color came back to his face, and he slowly made his way to sit in front of her. She found his eyes, they were open ushering her in like they always did. He was no longer wearing that invisible uniform. He was her Bass once more. He poured some juice from the bottle they had brought home. She was glad to find something to change the subject with : 

“Oh that’s Kevin’s apple juice?” Her mother had found a supplier of apple juice who gave her juice in exchange of veterinarian services. Her mother managed to save a few of his cows from a parasite so he was forever grateful.   
Bass poured some for her. Miles left huffing something about meeting Aaron at the bar. Charlie was toying with her glass, enjoying their new found silence. Trying to find a way to remind Bass again that she’d be fine, that she was strong enough to face them. They had to do something with the Nano before her mother was lost to them. She’d be fine facing the Nano using her brother’s face. She was well trained.

Bass slammed suddenly his glass back on the table, spitting out the juice.

“Bass? Bass? What?” She jumped on her feet, grabbing his shoulders.

“Don’t,” he coughed, “don’t drink the juice.” Charlie went to retrieve the water jug on the kitchen sill.  
“Here. Drink some water.” He used the water to gargle whatever was left in his mouth and throat, and spat it out in the sink. He downed two glasses of water. His cough settled but his lips were inflamed and he was sweating.

“There’s something in the juice.” His voice was hoarse.

“That’s weird… The guy loves mom. He wouldn’t…”

“No he wouldn’t.” Her eyes found Bass’ but she shook her head :

“They wouldn’t do that… It doesn’t make sense.”

“Are you sure?”

She shook her head again but couldn’t answer. Of course, she wasn’t sure. Bass went out, she guessed to get some more water and wash his mouth. Her gaze was fixed on the bottle they had brought from her mother’s. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be. She looked down to her glass… She could have had it. Her hand went over her belly as she took a deep breath in and sat down. Bass came back. He went to stand behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders.

“Better?”

“Yeah. I didn’t swallow.. As soon as I tasted I knew it was wrong.”

“Didn’t know you were an expert on poison.”

“You married a former president, Charlotte.” She smiled, one his hand brushed her hair to the side, while fingers were grazing against her skin, sending delicious shivers throughout her body.

“True. A much hated president. Come to think of it, why didn’t we try poison instead of bringing down the Republic?“ She didn’t want to think about their near death experience. Anything, everything could do but knowing that those things had managed to try to poison them. Losing Bass? This time the ground wasn’t shifting beneath her feet, it was crumbling down. 

“I wonder who’d be the sorriest if I were gone.“ His lips were fluttering against her ear. It was General Monroe’s voice but this was her Bass, “I almost died…”His voice was like velvet, inviting her to lean into his caresses. 

“Miles’ out..” She offered. She stood up to face him, her hands cupped his face. She leaned forward to kiss him but he pulled back.

“I should wash my mouth again.”

“I’m sure it’s gone, Bass.” She kissed his cheek instead, his ear, neck. “Miles’ out.” There was a twinkle in his eyes. It was awkward since Miles was around. Even though Bass didn’t care about his friend being in the premises, Charlie couldn’t relax. And right now, they just had a life or death situation. Her hands brushed against his hands, to his wrist and forearms. It didn’t take him long to react. His hands went under the summer dress she was wearing, brushing against her thighs. His mouth finally found hers, and his lips parted against hers. She heard the floorboard crack, and turned around. It was just the house but it could have been Miles.

“Not here…” 

They forgot about the apple juice jug, Miles rarely drank anything that didn’t contain alcohol. And chances were, he was pissed enough to stay at Aaron’s and complain about Bass.

 

Bass woke up with Charlie hair in his mouth and his arm trapped under her. Through the curtain of hair, he noticed how peaceful she looked in her sleep. He had kept it all in, not wanting to upset her : the rage, the fear, the violence. He had seen in her eyes the horror she must have felt when she realized it was almost certain her father or her brother, those things, had poisoned their drink. The only thing that had mattered, in light of her reaction was to distract her and his own dark moods, to feel the only connection that made him calm. He had woken up with his heart beating in his throat, and his head pounding. Gently, he removed his arm from under Charlie. She rolled to her other side, turning away from him. Quietly, he extracted himself from the web of her hair, and stood up. He located his jeans and grabbed his shirt. Once he was dressed he closed the door behind him as he made his way to find Miles. His friend was still asleep on the couch, the apple juice jug seemed untouched. He pinched Miles’ nose to wake him. As soon as he was up, Miles had his gun pointed at him. Bass nodded his head towards the door. 

As he waited for Miles to come out, he lit a cigarette and looked around. The morning had barely flooded the sleepy city. Charlie would be out for at least another hour. She was safe for now, tucked in their bed. He’d have to make sure to lock the door. He knew she’d find another way out but he didn’t want her involved in what he had planned.

“Why did you wake me up so early?” Miles’ voice was rough with sleep and irritation.

“They tried to poison us. The apple juice… Fuck Miles! It was poison!“ He saw the words filter through Miles sleepy brain and his eyes widen. 

“How? Charlie, how’s Charlie?”

“She fine. I took a sip and it burnt my mouth so I spat it all out. Kind of like that Bourbon in Jackson. Remember?“ Miles nodded :

“They really hated you back then too… You always get fan gifts, don’t you?“ In spite of the dark circumstances, there were an amused glint in Miles’ eyes. Somehow, no matter how bad things became they always found a way to laugh it off until they couldn’t even smile anymore.

“Shut up.“

His friend let out a long breath but Bass didn’t let him think it out :

“I’m going to their place and arresting them. In fact, why even arrest them? They should be executed. A long thorough questioning. And then we get rid of whatever’s left of them. I’m tired of playing the let’s please Rachel game.” He spoke through his teeth. His mind was made up. No point in arguing or talking it it out with Miles. He took a step towards the door to retrieve his sword from the house. His gun was already tucked in his waistband.

“Hey, hey calm down Bass! We don’t know for sure…” Miles eyes were wide, he had raised his hands.

“Who else? Who else Miles tried to hurt my wife yesterday? I’m not just going to stand there. There has to be a retaliation. I have to do something. We’re fucking under attack.” His heart was pouring in his chest, his vision was clear and his mind focused on the steps he had to take to keep everyone safe. This was what he was best at. He had served his country, he had served his own Republic. It was only when it was his family that was concerned that he failed every time; not this time. He walked past Miles, his hand on the doorknob. 

“I agree but let’s not overreact. We’re not…” Miles hand was on his shoulder, his voice pleading. Bass spun around and pushed him away.

“Overreact? Overreact? Fuck! I’m not overreacting! They tried to hurt my family. They have to pay the price. I have to keep her safe. WE! We have to keep her safe. Or are you so scared of R…” His voice was rising with every word but he couldn’t help it. Rage was bubbling out, like magma out of a crack in the rocks. 

“You haven’t changed…” Miles was pinching his nose, no doubt trying to keep his own temper in check. Bass shook his head. When did Miles become this? Even before he left the Republic he wasn’t so passive. He knew his friend loved Charlie, she was everything to him. Why couldn’t he grasp what had happened? 

“Come on, Miles. This is Charlotte. She could have died.” His voice was dying on his throat but his rage had been fueled up by his own words but the man in front of him, was the same who had fled from Philly. There was no point on arguing with him. Miles will always be a coward. Bass was probably going to pay price for taking action but he was not going to look the other way while these things tried to hurt the one person he truly cared about. This wasn’t like what he did for Miles, by killing the rebel’s whole family. This was the simple consequence of what these things had tried to do. It was different, he knew it was different from his presidential rages. He still had his grip on himself. He was calm, ice and iron in his veins and his focus sharp. He wasn’t losing it. He was just doing what was right for everyone. He stared down his friend, his shoulders straight and his arms on his sides.

“Ok Miles. You do whatever you want. I’m taking care of them. You can arrest me if you want but I’m going to protect my family.” His voice was low but firm. 

He located the gun he had slipped under the waistband of his jeans and went down the porch.

“Think about Charlie. Do you want to tell her you killed her father and brother... Again?”

He froze. Charlie’s absolution had been like water in the desert, something he had never thought he could ever earn. She had given it to him freely, loving him in spite of the past. Even when he spoke about the Republic, her eyes were still loving. Once given, her love and loyalty could survive anything. Was he willing to test this bond? Maybe the ground wasn’t so stable under his boots.

“They are not really them. She knows that. We all know that… Except for Rachel. You’re not thinking about Charlie, you’re thinking about her. And guess what : she doesn’t give a fuck about you now that she has Ben. She’d rather have a robot version of Ben than you. You’re just a…”

Damn Miles was fast, his punch found Bass’ jaw before he could deflect it. It made his face pound and his hands curl into fists, his gun still safely tucked in his jeans. 

“I’m going to let that one go because you’re upset. You’re not even thinking. Charlie will never forgive you if you kill them. That’s it.” Miles’ tone was softer when he went on, “I don’t get what you two have. But she’s happy… And I want Charlie happy and safe. So I’m… I’m fucking begging you Bass : calm the hell down. Calm down. Don’t mess it up. This is the last thing Charlie needs. Yeah she knows they are not real but still… And what if we really lose Rachel? Do you want to tell her you made her mother lose it? After Ben and Danny? And Nora? So take a deep breath and… Yeah, we can go and ask Rachel if she noticed anything about the juice. Hell, we can show it to her and she can tell us exactly what she thinks. She can test it in her lab. Maybe it’s not even poison?”

Bass considered his friend’s words as he realized how erratic his heartbeat was. He was all over the place. No, he wasn’t as calm as he thought he was. Last time he felt like this, well, he was General Sebastian Monroe. The same man who had terrorized Charlie and her loved ones. Maybe Miles was right. Maybe he was once more on the brink, one more step and he wouldn’t be able to control it.

“For Charlie, Bass. Come on. We need to stay on top of this and not go all cowboy on their ass.” Miles was doing his best to sound reasonable, Bass could tell. A lifetime ago, or maybe even now if the situation was different, Miles was always the quickest to draw. But these days, he preferred to play Path Gareth and let Bass be Billy the Kid. Like hell.

“For Charlotte.” He took a deep breath and looked away. Last time, every single time he had seen his loved ones hurt because of someone, he hadn’t held back; except when Miles’ had stopped him. Bass’ gaze drop as he went back to those cold bitter days after his family’s funeral. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, just drink and smoke. He had hunted down the bastard who had done it but Miles had found him and stopped him in time. It was an accident, nobody’s fault, he said, it could have been us. Drunk driver. Fuck he drove drunk far too many times and yet he lost his family because of one drunk driver. And even when there had been no one left to blame but himself, Miles had stopped him from killing himself. And now, his Charlotte had been a target of the most cowardly thing he had experienced. Poison was the sword of cowards. He couldn’t hold back, he couldn’t stop the rage from spreading to his whole body.

“But it’s her that they wanted to hurt. She’s not drinking alcohol... If they wanted to hurt either of us, they would’ve poisoned the moonshine.”

He had brought home the booze and the juice from Gene’s. He could remember clearly picking up the bottles. They were on the counter in Gene’s kitchen. Everyone was talking, Charlie was yawning and talking about the nap she was dreaming to have. He couldn’t remember if either Ben and Danny had been around. Once they got in town, Miles took them from him to leave them on their porch. Did Ben and Danny follow them here? Did they do it at the Porter house? He kept on trying to remember, how did he miss this? He had mellowed down. Fuck, he was growing soft, softer than Miles.

“Listen Bass, we don’t know anything. Maybe someone else did it. We did leave it here on the porch yesterday. Let me get ready. Have some coffee and we’ll go show it to Rachel and we’ll go from there.”

“Dr Frankenstein’s going to protect her monsters.”

“Yeah whatever.”

They both went in. He was relieved to see that the bedroom door was still closed, Charlie must still be asleep. As he lit up the small wood stove, he tried to see things from Miles’ perspective. He could hear him shuffling about behind him. Miles had always had that uncanny ability to store his feelings in a totally separate box. He could do it, sometimes, but not when something like that happened. He could remember the hot rage after his family died, Shelly and the baby, the attack that almost killed Miles. 

He knew if push came to shove, Charlie would also want to get rid of those things. But he knew about that moment of guilt she had over hurting the thing pretending to be her brother. He knew how she had looked at the creature wearing her father’s face. Of course she knew they were fake. Of course, she thought her mother was crazy for even caring about them. But what if? What if there was a small drop of possibility that she was given another chance to be with her loved ones? Could he take it all away from her? He picked up the coffee pot and went back to the table. 

Miles was sitting with his elbow on the table, his face in his hand. He looked worn, time was really catching up on them. In my Miles’ case, it was time and Rachel who were carving more lines on his face, maybe Bass too and the Republic. He could read what his friend never said, they were brothers. They had seen the world end and made a new one together. He poured some coffee in the empty mug in front of Miles.

“About what I said…“

“Do you really want to hug it out Bass? I swear Charlie’s turning you into a mushy…“

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Just, I know it must be hard with R…“

Miles gave him one of those looks, the look that made sure they never talked about Emma again. Miles never liked talking about his love life. His one night stands? Sure. But love? Never. Bass, on the other hand never had the choice. He couldn’t not talk about it. It was only later in life, that he had to learn the hard way to keep what was the most precious hidden. 

They drank their coffee in silence. With a shared glance, they stood up and left the house. Bass carefully locked the door. He knew Charlie could go out from the backdoor that was locked from the inside. It just made him feel safer to know nobody could walk in and disturb her sleep. For her, he’d build the Republic again, to keep her safe. But for her, he could never go down that road again.

Side by side, Monroe and Matheson with their guns in their holsters walked through the town they looked after. Who knew pirates could become sheriffs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... What do you think? Is Bass on the verge of a breakdown or is it holding up? Yes, poison...
> 
> I took a long time to edit this chapter because not only did I want to express accurately Bass' inner battle but I also wanted to explore the Bass & Miles friendship. I hope I made them justice. 
> 
> and I hope you enjoyed this!! Thank you for your patience!


	16. Hurricane Charlie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear kind readers,  
> Thank you for your patience.  
> This one took longer to edit because... You'll see. ;)

The Porter house was just around the corner. Bass pace slowed down, his gaze on his friend’s face, his heart in his throat again. He didn’t get him. They had been friends, brothers, for longer than he could remember and yet there was a part of Miles that he couldn’t grasp. Miles’ face was wooden, a fucking statue. His shoulders were rigid and his mouth set in a grim twisted mess. There wasn’t any feelings seeping out, nothing. It reminded him of that fateful night he showed up at the foot of his bed, with his gun aimed at him.

Whatever happened. They didn’t speak about it again, at least not since they had settled down here. It was one of the many mysteries that made Miles himself. 

He knew that Charlie was a good part of what made Miles still stand on his two feet.. And yet, nothing in his demeanor was betraying his state of mind, nothing. As if it didn’t matter, as if Charlie wasn’t family. 

Cold, Mathesons were cold. He could still remember the stale smell that permeated the Matheson house. No wonder why Miles always wanted to hang out at the Monroe’s, and Ben was never home. 

Matheson senior was a marine through and through but a mean drunk. He saw glimpse of him in Charlie, when she was in one of her grumpy old man moods, sounding like an creaky Matheson. But her moods never held the malice that filled up Matheson senior’s drunken rants.  
Whatever it was, Miles was turning into his own dad. Bass wouldn’t care… shouldn’t care. A gun to his head, too much water under the bridge, he should’t care. Rachel was bad for him. It was like watching a car crash happening too fast to be stopped, too slow to be ignored.

Fuck.

He couldn’t help but open his mouth and spit out :

“You’re really gone soft. You need to stop drinking the Rachel Koolaid. Back in the days…”

“Back in the days, we did a lot of fucked up things.” Bass rolled his eyes, always the same story. They both knew Rachel had neutered Miles, turning him into the worst version of himself. He didn’t add anything. What was the point? No amount of talking could make Miles open his eyes. No amount of talking could change anything. 

He brushed away the thought that maybe he was also going soft too because of Charlotte. Maybe in another lifetime, he wouldn’t be merely arresting Ben and Danny, they’d be hanging in the town square without even asking for Miles’ opinion. Why was he even complying to Miles’ dumb plan when all his senses were screaming it was a bad idea? Charlie would agree with him, he knew it. 

They were greeted by Rachel on the porch. She was standing by the front door, her arms crossed over her chest.

“There’s something wr…”

“Someone tried to kill Charlotte.” Bass interrupted whatever roundabout comment Miles was going to make. He promptly explained about the juice. Rachel grabbed the bottle and went in. They followed her downstairs as she asked him to tell her about the symptoms he had experienced. She had a lab of some sort, though he wasn’t sure how much she could do without electricity. 

She started to explain something that made absolutely no sense to Bass. He interrupted her :

“Cut the Einstein talk. I just want to know who did it.”

“How would I know, Bass?”

“What I know is that we got that bottle from your place and Charlotte almost drank from it. I want to know who’s trying to hurt her.”

“I didn’t do it. I wouldn’t… And Kevin is a good guy…” Rachel was avoiding his gaze, her back against the wall. Was she remembering the good old days when he had all the power and she had nothing but a screwdriver? He ignored the thought, his shadow was growing too close to his body : he couldn’t let it in.

“Who? Who else is creeping around this house? Who else tried to hurt her yesterday?” He towered over her, ignoring Miles’ hand on his shoulder, “you need to wake up Rachel. Your little monsters tried to kill my wife. Your daughter! And I’m not going to let it just happen.” There, now she wasn’t looking away. 

“Come on Bass, don’t…” Miles had a hand on his shoulder but he shoved him away.

“Shut up Miles. I’ve heard enough of your peace & love crap.” He turned to Rachel, “so you agree there’s poison in it?” 

“I can’t draw any conclusion right now. What you experienced could be a mild allergic reaction. You were allergic to…” She stood tall, her eyes icy and her voice firm and calm. He was the only one sounding like he was on the edge. It drove him even closer to the tipping point to notice that neither Miles nor Rachel were realizing how bad things could have been if Charlie had drunk the juice.

“Bullshit!” His punched landed on the wall. He wasn’t aiming at her but it made her shut up and gape at him.and here he was thinking he was becoming a better man. Sure. Ben burst in the room :

“What’s going on?”

“Bass. Let me handle this.” Miles shot him a warning look. His fingers digging into his shoulder, pulling him back. 

“There was something wrong with the apple juice we brought home. Charlie’s fine, though.” Bass looked at his friend facing his brother. And for a second, he felt pity for Miles The whole situation was awkward. Throw in the mix, something Rachel had mumbled to Miles during a fight : that Charlie was Miles’. It was a good distraction. He could feel the rage seeping out. He could focus on what Charlie had told him about Robot Danny’s behavior. What if there was a way to make them tick? He took a step towards Ben.

“Not that you would care…” Miles shot him a warning look and Rachel looked perplexed, only Ben remained stoic, “I mean, is she even your daughter, right?” He watched as Ben stared at him like a confused 3 years old. 

“Bass what the…” Miles’ voice was drowned as Bass focused on Ben. The NanoBen first shook his head. He was sweating profusely, within seconds droplets were racing over his face and his shirt was drenched. Teeth started to chatter and words bubbled out :

“Denied. Miles Matheson and Charlie Matheson’s genetic makeup does not match. Denied. Miles Matheson…” And he went on repeating the same words. Bass just stood there, not knowing if he should whip out his gun or try to talk Ben out of his frenzy. Nobody moved. When cyber Ben went into another rant, Bass shrugged.

“Now you’re worried? Right?” Bass looked at Rachel who was shaking her head, “they are not real. It’s some technological thing trying to destroy us. Do you get it now Rachel?” Maybe he was off his rockers, always under the shadow of the General, but Rachel wasn’t any better. 

She was ignoring his words as she shuffled past them to grab her ihusband by the shoulders :

“Ben. Ben? Snap out of it. It’s alright. It’s me, Rachel. It’s alright… Bass didn’t mean anything.” Her voice was gentle, as if she were speaking to a child.

“Rachel.. Rachel Matheson, my wife. Mother of Charlie Matheson and Danny Matheson.”

“Yes, that’s me. Ben… It’s alright.” Ben finally stopped talking in a monotonous tone, he closed his eyes.

“Ben?” Rachel tried again.

“I’m alright. I just.. I just don’t know what happened.”

“It’s alright, it’s nothing. Bass was just being rude. He’s upset because someone poisoned Charlie’s drink. She’s alright. Everything’s alright.“ If it wasn’t the most ironic shit in the world : Rachel Matheson was showing some real warmth to her cylon husband. 

“Yes, everything’s alright. I need some air.” He left the room, followed by Rachel, leaving Bass and Miles staring at each other.

“Well, you said we should continue probing them. What more proof do you need?” Bass kept his tone light finally noise a flicker of emotion in Miles’ dark eyes. 

“You’re a dick. Bringing this up. I told you about this years ago, in fucking confidence. You told Charlie too?”

“No. I haven’t. I wouldn’t want to hurt her with another of Rachel’s bullets. I was just trying to make him react. And it worked. That’s what we needed, right?” Miles was shaking his head at his words :

“No.. yeah but Rach…”

“You deal with her. I’ll deal with them.” He dug out the handcuffs from his pockets. He had come prepared. Once upon a time they had both been at the head of a whole fucking country. And now they couldn’t even deal with two banged up computers?

“Come on Bass we’ve been through this before…” Bass shook his head. Miles will always be stuck on Rachel. And as long as she was around, he would be of no help. Thankfully, he had other options. He didn’t need approval, he never had. He took a step towards the door and paused. But Miles’ words about how it would affect Charlie to see her cyberfamily hurt were still nagging him. He didn’t believe it, he knew Charlie was rational enough to know that this wasn’t his family. But what if it did make her relieve that loss? At his hands no less… No, he needed back up. He stormed off to find AARP. The man was working in a sunroom filled with plants.

“They tried to poison Charlotte.” The older man stared at him as f he had dropped from the moon. They didn’t have the best relationship but ever since Charlotte had made him an honest man a semblance of truce united them, all under the banner of the same woman. He explained what had happened and included the bit about Ben’s reaction.

“Like a robot?”

“Yeah.. Just like in Star Wars or nerdy stuff like that.”

“But everything about their body is biological.”

“Rachel doesn’t want to believe it. And Miles is just a puppy who lost his bone. I need your help convincing them.”

“Of what exactly, Monroe?” Fucking old man. 

“We need to take care of them. Lock them up. Turn them off, whatever. They are dangerous and Charlotte is due any day Then what? Our child will also be in danger. I don’t get why you people can’t seem to grasp that.” He had to make an effort to keep his voice low. He knew Porter didn’t like being jerked around. Reason was the only thing that would make him agree, that and his good natured feelings. Bass wanted to shake him, he needed some action : someone to kill, to punch… Whatever. Something to use all this bent up fear and anger. His jaw was clenching so tightly it made his whole face hurt.

“Miles’ the sheriff. I can’t decide for him. But I can talk to Rachel and share my observations. Even if there’s something off about them, we have no proof that they poisoned the juice. It could be anyone. Maybe someone slipped in the house and did it. You’re Sebastian Monroe. You have many enemies.”

Fuck AARP was good. The barbed words went through his chest. He was used to being to bogeyman by now, it even served his purposed. Better to be feared. He had had his revenge. It was over. Only, it wasn’t. People still remembered his name like they remembered Hitler or Bin Laden. As if… He couldn’t give a fuck. But he had to. Was it because of his past that Charlotte had almost gotten hurt? He felt his stomach sink and the bile rise. No, no, it couldn’t. It was Ben or Danny. The Nano… Not his enemies.

“Talk to your daughter.” His voice was low, for a split second he was wearing his uniform and standing in his grand office. He was and would always be Sebastian Monroe. He marched out of the sunroom and down the street.

Ben and Danny will have to wait. The right time will come to take care of them. They had messed with the wrong people. Too bad Miles was filled with marshmallow and shit; he was not. He stomped through town, barely noticing the terrified faces beckoning him. Any of them could have done the deed his mind was telling him. He hadn’t even thought about it until now. Stupid AARP. No, it couldn’t be… It had to be the NanoBen and Danny.

Inside the house, he was greeted by a tousled hair Charlie who was sipping coffee while lounging on the couch. 

“Where were you?” He liked the lazy way she asked, without even looking at him. As if she counted on him to be around, as if she knew he’d always be around. It was almost enough to quiet the dark storm in his head.

“Around With Miles.”

“You went to confront them, right?” Her eyes found his before he could look away. He nodded and knew she could read his face easily. She patted the couch, inviting him to sit next to her. He indulged her request, laying his feet on the low coffee table.

“That bad?”

“No. It’s fine. Rachel is testing the juice to see what it was exactly.”

Charlie shrugged, taking another sip of coffee, “poison is poison. Did you see them?”

“Just Ben. Something happened… “ He proceeded to explain what transpired with him. She drank up each word, her eyes pensive and her face scrunched up. Somehow, telling her about it made his heart pulse slow down, the Republic was in ashes far behind him. It all seemed so far away, here and now he was himself once more. He didn’t know who it was but he could almost glimpsed it in Charlotte’s eyes.

“But what did you say to make him like that?”

“Nothing important… Just something about the affair.” He lied. It would hurt her to know what he used for ammo. She didn’t need to know how callous he could be, at least not now. But then again, didn’t she already know? One day he’ll tell her about Miles’ biggest fear, that was, according to the Nano, unfounded. One day he’ll tell her, he promised her eyes. She blinked, her gaze dropping to her hands and back to his face. 

“And mom is still not getting it?”

“Maybe? She is a blind bitch.”

Charlie scoffed, he knew she had no problem hearing him call Rachel a bitch. Their relationship wasn’t the typical mother-daughter lovey-dovey thing. Everything with Rachel had taken a step back since her Stepford hubby had showed up.

“Yeah well… I’ll need to talk to her soon.” She made a face as she closed her eyes and let out a long breath. She was too pale. Fuck Rachel.

“You don’t need to…” There would be time to talk to Rachel once this was over. But now, he had witnessed first hand how deluded the woman was with those things around.

“Oh yeah, I do.”

He raised his eyebrows. Miles burst in interrupting their moment. Bass took in his breathless friend, his eyes full of guilt. Well at least, in the presence of Charlie, Miles did look like the caring uncle he sometimes remembered to be.

“Gene’s called a meeting in one hour at the church. Rachel, Ben and Danny are going to Plano market. Rachel thought it’d be a good family outing.”

“Thanks for reminding me I’m not part of it.” mumbled Charlie. Bass wrapped his hand around hers, noticing how warm she was. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes : something was definitely up. 

“So, one hour at the Church? I’ll go tell Aaron.” Miles was already turning on his heels.

“Actually,” started Charlie but she paused, closing her eyes again, “Oh fuck… Actually, tell grandpa to come here. Because the meeting…” 

“Charlotte?”

“Because the baby’s coming.”

Bass lost his voice as Miles drilled a series of question. It was finally happening, that moment he had been dreading. This time, Charlie was the one clasping his hand to lend him support. His gaze finally focused on her, she was looking at him from under eyelashes and she was smiling. He had seen that smile before. It had been a while since he had last seen it. It was the smile of the amazon, of the warrior licking her lips before the battle began. It was the smile of a brother in arms, fighting side by side, back to back, with him. He nodded. He couldn’t smile but he was ready.

“Miles,” He interrupted his friend who was asking Charlie if she was sure for the third time, ”go get Gene. Tell him the baby’s coming. Make sure the weirdos don’t come with him. Maybe Rachel could come? If they haven’t left yet?”

Charlie nodded in agreement. Whatever drama was happening in their lives, it wouldn’t hurt to have both doctors around.

“Tell Gene they are roughly five minutes apart,” he turned to Charlotte, “when did it start?” Now her pinched face made sense. She had been having contractions. Part of him had known it. Of course it had to be today, when everything was a mess. He preferred it to be on a chaotic day rather than a quiet peaceful day. Quiet peaceful day were always the harbinger of disaster. Chaos was just business as usual 

“My water broke this morning after you guys left.”

“And you’re telling us now? Tell Gene. Go Miles, stop staring at us like an idiot.” Fuck Miles could be such a slowpoke. And to think he was once the Butcher of Baltimore? It was easier when it wasn’t your family that was on the line, right?

“Come on Bass. First babies take longer. We’ve got time. Mom said it would take time.“ There was a flutter in her voice, she was scared too but she kept her tone light. Maybe that was why she hadn’t told him right away. Maybe if they pretended it wasn’t happening it would make it easier, less terrifying?

Miles had left the door ajar. Bass stood up to close it and looked over his shoulder at Charlie still sitting. Of course she’d play it cool. This was this woman who had challenged him to shoot her before they were even fighting partners, before they were at best but enemies. If someone could survive the most frightening battle in the universe, that would be Charlotte Matheson Monroe. 

“Yeah. We have enough time to get everything ready.“ He crossed the distance between them, and leaned forward until his lips found hers, “Charlotte. You’re doing good.“

He was glad there was no tremor in his voice when he spoke. She smiled against his lips. He straightened up and turned to kitchen table. Yes, they had time to get everything ready. This time he knew enough, he was ready. This time was going to be different, it had to be. There was no other way he way going to survive through this. Today it was different because this was Charlotte. The blackout had made her into a force of nature that tore governments down and shook the lives of men and women and yet remained unscathed. Nothing could set off this hurricane from its course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, don't worry... This is Charlie Matheson. ;) 
> 
> Poor Bass is having a bad day. Everything is tugging at him, reminding him of the past. But the good thing is, he does have a way to walk the line. Charlie. (or rather someone who would kick his ass if he ever took a step toward going back to that side of his personality.)
> 
> Yes the Nano are weird, aren't they? 
> 
> I will try to post the next chapter within this week. I made you guys wait too much for this one. I hope I didn't disappoint.


	17. a new breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is... Hope you enjoy it. Don't worry, I won't go too much into details. ;)

The baby was coming… It was really happening.  
It didn’t take long for Bass to remember what he had been planning every time he woke up in the middle of night. This time he knew better. He was ready. He went to the kitchen table, he started to pick up all the plates and glasses. It wasn’t very clean but it was better than their bed. He wiped the surface with a cloth imbibed with alcohol.

“What are you doing?”

“Preparing where our baby will be born.”

“The kitchen table, Bass?”

“It’s the cleanest area. Now, where did I put them?” He looked around him, “I sealed up sheets and a couple of pillow cover that I boil washed.” He went purposefully to their bedroom and came back with a bag. He washed his hands thoroughly, and even used alcohol, before he handled the sheet. She had seen this determined face before, but it usually involved a battle or a crazy plan to save the day, not the birth of a child. 

He made a makeshift bed on their long kitchen table. 

“You too, Charlotte. No germs… We have to avoid infection or anything.” 

She stood up gingerly and considered him :

“You really thought of everything.”

“Yes. It kept me up at night. Now hurry up Charlotte.” He helped her to wash up and change into a clean nightshirt. She knew it wouldn’t stay clean for long. He helped her up on the makeshift bed.

“This is weird…“ It seemed excessive to her. She had heard about many babies being delivered without any issue back at the estate. In fact Maggie was always very calm about it. Maybe a few mothers or babies didn’t make it through but it was pretty standard. Of course, she was apprehensive about the pain and the welfare of the baby but dying? She had faced much worse odds. But Bass on the other hand had his share of lost battles so she indulged him by staying quiet.

Any other day with any other person, she would have refused all of this. 

They were ready even before Gene came in the house. He looked at them with a hint of surprise on his face. Charlie looked from her grandfather to Bass and back to her grandfather. Her husband’s face was stern, he was wearing hiss General’s mask. 

“You can’t send me away.” 

“I wasn’t going to,“ her grandfather didn’t like Bass that much but he was now in the guise of the good countryside doctor. Charlie sighed :

“Stay but I want you to stand by my head. I don’t want our marriage to be sexless after the baby is born. Ok?” Something made Bass pale but Charlie didn’t have the time to ponder, another contraction was taking all her attention. His hand was in hers, offering her support and something to dig her finger into. As the pain rolled away, she glanced at him.

“Charlotte, can you promise me something?” His voice was very low.

“I won’t go to the white bright light at the end of the tunnel.”

“Seriously, don’t die, Charlotte.” He sounded so young, like a boy. He only seldom spoke like this when it was just the two of them. Thankfully her grandfather had turned his back to them to get something from his bag. He must have seen his share of scared but eager future parents.

“I’ll do my very best, Sebastian Monroe.”

She looked into his eyes and no more words were needed. This is what made him fall in love with her over and over again : she didn’t use big words, or make false promises but those she made, she kept. And her eyes always anchored him back to her loyalty.

He could forget about Shelley joking about not having sex anymore, he could ignore the memory of the stench of fresh blood, he could forget he had been here before. This was something new, this was Charlie Matheson the ultimate weapon of mass destruction. Unstoppable Charlotte, his Charlotte.

“I think I’ll be the one to remind you to breathe.” She smiled again before it turned to a scowl.

After that, there was no more time to think for either of them.   
Gene didn’t leave their side. Miles, on the other hand, had decided to set up camp up front, on the porch, with a bottle of the finest whisky he had kept hidden for months. He let in the other midwife that usually helped Gene with the birthing. Rachel had already left town. Charlie didn’t say anything when she heard her mother wouldn’t be coming.

Bass knew she didn’t need her but it would have been nice to have another person that would die for Charlie.

In the end, the delivery was class-book. Everything went well, Charlie left claw marks all over his arms but he didn’t mind. He was too busy holding their daughter. Charlie was resting in their bed now, a few feet away from them. Miles repeatedly told him to come out to celebrate, but he couldn’t leave their side. He saw Rachel tiptoeing in. She came to look a the baby, they shared a look, and he gently placed the bundle in her arms. It seemed like they were back to those simple times, before the blackout, before the world spun out of control. Everything seemed so new. Even Rachel had a gentle smile that he hadn’t witnessed before.

“She’s perfect.”

“Just like her mom.” He knew how lame he sounded but this was no normal day. Some kind of miracle had happened today, and nothing would ever be the same. Even if his folks, Shelley and the other baby, Emma and Connor remained in the shadows, here in the warm candle light he felt whole. He felt like he could finally let the past rest. It wouldn’t last but tonight he was at peace.

“Miles told me you haven’t budged for hours. Let me stay and you can go have a drink.” She went to look at Charlie, “She’s resting. She looks good,“ her hand was on her daughter’s forehead, “no fever. Everything’s alright. Go… You’ve earned it Bass.”

He nodded, and looked at his daughter again. He kissed the top of her head, and went to Charlie’s bedside to kiss her cheek. As he went to the door, he paused again to glance at them. This was his family, his most precious family. His head was spinning. So many years of playing it safe, so many years of keeping that fragile vulnerable thing under lock… and then Charlie came along and now he was going around with an exposed nerve. He was happy but he was terrified. 

Outside, Miles was drunk, talking about the good old days with Aaron. The latter had flushed cheeks and had even found cigars. Bass settled down with them but he didn’t feel the need to drink more than a finger of whisky. The taste lingered in his mouth, as the smoke of the cigars rose to the sky. The sun was setting, this whole day had gone by and it had seemed a lifetime. Now that the sun was sinking in shimmering pink hues, his whole world had changed. He leaned against the back of the deck chair and closed his eyes. Sometimes, life had some good things in store for him.

He wasn’t listening as Miles into a rant about nerds in the pre-blackout world. His thoughts were far away… Back to the last day he remembered seeing his family alive. Pancakes, lots of syrup and lots of arguing and laughing. Shelley laughing until she was screaming. And then, Connor. His mere mention or thought still made all his blood freeze. He watched as his former best friend was gesturing and laughing. Connor who grew up to be an orphan, the right hand of a cartel bastard, and a madman who left without looking back… Off chasing something that didn’t exist anymore.

Goodbye to all of you, he thought.

“Right?“

“What?“ Bass was startled by Miles voice.

“Said you remember Stacey, right? She had a thing for geeks. That star wars kid, what was his name?“ Miles’ eyes were bright. It was just two old friends reminiscing with a new friend. Bass just stared at at him, Miles was too drunk to notice.

“Come on I won’t tell Charlie what you did with her,“ Miles snorted. Bass just shrugged and looked away. Thankfully, Miles was back to telling aaron the next part of the story.

From the corner of his eyes he watched his friend, brother, whatever he was. Yeah they were on friendly terms again for as long as he pretended Connor didn’t exist. Because if Connor didn’t exist, than Miles hadn’t hidden his son from him until it was too late for them to be anything other than strangers.

Bass took the other drink Miles was offering and lit his cigar. Today he was a father again, this time nothing and no one was going to take it from him. 

 

The nameless baby was still crying and Charlie wasn’t next to him. Bass’ eyes flew open. He looked around in the dark but he couldn’t see jack. Where was she? He rubbed his eyes and sat up. In the tiny cot by their bed, the baby was mewling away. It was time for her feed. Bass’ heart was pounding against his chest as he looked around, where was she? He went to his daughter and picked her up, he knew she didn’t want her father’s chest, she needed her mother right now. How did Charlie describe it? Yeah, she was the only bar open in town. The door flew open and a barefoot Charlie barged in.

“Oh good. I didn’t hear her from outside.”

“What the hell were you doing outside at this time of night?” His voice was too loud for that time of the night but his heart wouldn’t settle. 

“Nappies, Bass, we need clean nappies for a clean and happy baby.” She took hold of the baby and went to sit on the rocking chair her mother had gifted her. 

He let out a breath as he leaned against the door, “yeah sorry, I kinda...”

“Overreacted? Told y’a Sebastian Monroe, I’m not going anywhere…” He sat down at the foot of the bed, and watched as their daughter latched her mouth to her mother’s breast.

“We need a name.” Charlie sounded bright. She had perfected the rhythm of sleeping only when the baby slept and waking up when she did. He yawned,

“Yeah because we can’t call her baby all her life. She’s going to hate us. Any idea?”

“I had an idea but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea… It’s just that it’s a pretty name and I really liked her. But…” Charlie looked down at their daughter, “but it might bring out some stuff we never talked about.”

Right then and there, he guessed the name : Nora. He knew Charlie had spent considerable time with the woman. But his guilt always stopped him from asking about their time on the road.

“Nora.”

“Yeah, I know… We’ve never talked about it. And well, what you.. What General Monroe did was awful.” Her voice was tinted with iron, reminding him of the bitter taste of war, ”I don’t hold it against you.. Obviously. We’ve all done things…. I just really want to call our daughter Nora but I’m scared Miles won’t like it.”

“Only fair… You don’t have to use my presidential name, Charlotte. I did it, and I have no excuse. I can only say that it was war.. And I was out of my mind. But I know it doesn’t excuse what happened. I…”

“It’s okay. We have to leave the past in the past. It’s just that I miss her so much sometimes. She’d have hated us together.” She was smiling to a memory, her face turned towards the window, her hair golden in the pale dawn light, “but she really loved children.“

“I’ll talk to Miles.”

“You sure?” She was looking at him again. Her eyes bluer than ever and her cheek flushed. One day, he’ll tell her that she was the only thing he was sure of.

“Miles’ bark is louder than his bullshit. And I guess it’s time we talked about it. You’ll be ok on your own?”

“Why, Sebastian Monroe did you forget I’m one of the reasons why you lost your republic? I can hold the fort. But isn’t kind of early?” There was a twinkle in her eyes and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yeah but I’m awake now and Miles needs some excitement in his life.“ He had been crashing at the sherif’s office, something about letting them have some space but Charlie was sure he couldn’t stand Nora’s cries. 

Little Nora, Charlie was quite sure Miles would eventually concede, had fallen asleep. Charlie settled her down in the cot, and for once, didn’t go to bed too. She had napies to fold and some silence to think. As she looked out of the window, she noticed the sun was already bright. She looked at the city going though its usual moods, people rushing about with a purpose. She missed it. Now she was attached to an infant that needed her for everything. She loved her completely but she missed running through town to save the world. Something in the mundane made her skin crawl. 

The candle light flickering brought her back to another place a long time ago. Oh a lifetime ago… when she slept with another Monroe. Connor… So much left unsaid. When was the last time she had thought about him? Around that candle ceremony maybe? She had barely gotten to know him but she knew they could have become good friends. He was cute, a younger version of Bass with that almost puppyish glint. She used him, plain and simple.

And even after that, there was something here. A sense of kinship nevertheless. God… Back then she was a ball of anger, despair and fire. Why did she do it? Maybe because she was scared of her true feelings for someone else. And look where they had brought her…She remembered Connor’s frank face after sex. He was still bright, still hopeful while her… By then she had been broken in too many places to mend properly. Until another Monroe, the original copy, had taken matters into his own hands. Somehow, she knew it would have never worked out with Connor. With Bass, it was like they were made from that same dark bright flame. Connor was different, maybe he was more like his mom or his aunt and uncle. Under his cartel bad boy vibes, there was something that made Charlie want to tease him. But in the end, he had chosen his dreams of power over his father, hadn’t he?

She blew out the candle. No it wasn’t so simple. The Connor she had known had something else within himself.

Hope, Connor had hopes and dreams back when she was just a black hole sinking into herself. She was living to die, he was living for a pipe dream. The republic… She shuddered. He died, she survived. Bass didn’t have an army anymore, nor the hope of ever building an new empire. Instead, he had a house, a job, wife and kid. More than she could had ever hoped back than. She was his family and Connor was dead along with all his hopes and dreams. Strange how things had turned out to be.

She looked at the baby, maybe Nora Connor would have a nice ring to it? But maybe not… Bass kept the past under lock, and although he now spoke of many dark memories, Connor remained in the dark recess of his soul. Such a shame for someone who had hold on to hope in spite of so much tragedy. But she knew how much it had cost Bass to remain alive after losing his first son. This loss was knotted with stray remnants of their heavy common past. But Connor deserved a tribute…

She toyed with the idea as she went to bed because the day might be on its way, Nora had her own schedule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter ended up being very long so I had to divide it in two. The next part will be up really soon.
> 
> You know, when I started this fic, I hadn't planned to have a baby in it. But I think for Bass, having kids plays a big part in his life and regrets. So it was unavoidable if I wanted to explore his healing.
> 
> I think he'd be able to 'heal' without kids, though. But in this fic I chose this path. 
> 
> Let me reassure you that the story won't be focused only on the baby from now on. The romance will stay up, and so will the nano problems and other things.


	18. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two for the price of one. ;) Enjoy

The next day, she was feeding Nora in the kitchen when Bass woke up.

Bass placed a kiss in her hair, another one of Nora’s soft head and went to the stove to make coffee.

“Miles said he didn’t mind. He knows how important Nora was to you too.“ She smiled at his words, remembering her dear friend who would have loved this baby too.

“Great,“ she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. He looked tired, like she most probably did but a far cry from the man that she had led to Willoughby. Thinking about Connor had reawakened memories of their time before all went to hell. She had dreamt of the day they had hit that patriot boot camp. Her mom’s anger. The blood not coming off her face. “What are you living for Charlie?“ Her mother’s horror at discovering her daughter had a mind of her own, and turning it into something about herself. Bantering with Connor, trying hard not to stare at Bass in all his war glory. 

“I was thinking about,“ she glanced at Bass again he was rummaging in a basket of food from the Porter house, “Connor.“ He stilled but didn’t turn to look at her. He pulled out a piece of bread. The coffee maker was sputtering and keeping him busy enough not to look at her, nor talk.

“Bass.“

“Yeah?“

“I don’t want to make you feel bad… It’s just,“ and he was finally looking at her as he sat down in front of her, “you never talk about him.“

“Charlotte.. What is there to talk about? I never got to see him grow up. Barely got to know him before it was all over.“ His eyes were lined with red, bluer than ever. The tears were kept locked somewhere deep within himself. He took a sip of coffee, looking away.

“I know. I know. I was just thinking.. Remembering. He was a good guy in spite of all that attitude,“ His gaze flickered to hers,“ I was remembering the things he said when we were in New Vegas when you went to see Duncan.“

“That’s not a part of the trip I like to remember,“ His voice was barely a grunt, his eyes narrowed, “didn’t know you liked to reminisce.“

“Come on Bass,“ She stifled an amused laugh, “that was ages ago. And we both know it didn’t mean anything.“ Fuck, this was becoming more and more awkward. “No, I was…“ The little jealous glint in Bass eyes would change into sadness if she shared her thoughts, “he wasn’t so bad, he wasn’t so broken. Maybe he was on his way back? He was tough but he wasn’t bitter. Must be that Monroe resilience. And I thought, what if we named the baby Nora Connor Matheson Monroe. That way maybe a part of him will stay with us. With you.“

Bass averted his gaze, drinking some more coffee. He was silent as he went on drinking coffee. He stood up and poured a mug for her and placed it in front of her. She gently moved Nora to her shoulder and straightened up her clothes. Bass took Nora from her and took her to the bedroom. Nora was complaining, she liked being held. She heard him hum something, it was too low for her to get the words. When he came back, he wasn’t avoiding her gaze.

“Good idea.“

“Really?“

“That the least I can give him… He trusted me and I… I didn’t choose him,“ and another unspoken threat hung over them. The Republic, wasn’t it what Bass had promised Connor. Something had made Bass change his mind about it, making Connor angry with him. Was it because of Miles? Was it because deep down he had never wanted it back? Did he still think about it? Last time they talked about it, their mood was light and he had alluded to both his desire to want it back and how bad it would be. 

Charlie yawned and went to sit on the couch. She knew she’ll regret it if she didn’t rest but she also needed time with Bass. He sat down next to her. Like they always did, his arm was around her, her cheek against his chest. She closed her eyes, breathing him in.

It wouldn’t go away. She knew it was the wrong time, she knew they were both tired but it would’t go away. 

“Was it true? You did want the Republic… Or was it only for Connor?“ Fuck, she said it. She didn’t open her eyes, he didn’t pull away.

“I don’t know.“ Her eyes opened and she looked up.

“What do you mean you don’t know? It’s not like I’m asking you if you liked vanilla ice cream when you were a kid.“

“To answer your question : I hated vanilla. I liked mint with chocolate chips.“ He was silent for a few minute but his eyes spoke like they always did. He truly didn’t know.

“I wanted revenge. And I did want something to give to Connor… I had nothing to give. I still got nothing to give.“ His voice was wavering, making her regret that she had started this conversation. He pushed a strand of her hair from her eyes, “thing is I liked it… To have an army under my command. Fuck I missed it and it felt like I was going back to myself when Duncan men came to us. It was like everything was possible again. To make things better. But once we lost our men with the mustard gas… It was easier to see. Power’s like a drug. Can’t ever get enough.“ His eyes were staring holes in the wall. She straightened up a bit, but his arm kept her in place. As if he was asking her not to react, not to leave.

“You want it back,“ she hissed and pulled away from him. Last time they spoke about this, there was a twinkle in his eyes. Last time she had empathized with his desire to make things better but today it felt different. Last night dreams were still hanging in the air around her. 

“No I don’t. Charlotte… Not really. Come on. We’re both tired. I’m saying… Fuck, we’ve already talked about it. I wouldn’t be me if I said I didn’t want it back. For you, for Nora. To keep you both safe. To...“

She had stood up, her arms crossed over her chest.

“I never asked you for anything. And Nora will never want from you anything other than you being her dad. But the Republic?“

He stood up too. Their voices may be low but their gazes were full of fury. Here they were again. So many years after that fateful journey that had brought them close to each other. 

“What do you want me to say? You know who I am. You knew who I was when…“ 

He was close to her, his breath on her face. He liked to get into people’s space when he was angry. Back when they were barely friends it had irked her because this proximity would ignite her hidden attraction for him. Even now, part of her wanted to forget about the argument and use their pent up anger for something else. But she wasn’t cleared for sex yet, and she didn’t even truly felt like it.

She let out a frustrated sigh. Yes she knew who he was. And part of her loved that he would do everything to protect his family. But even if everything was behind, and she’d even joke around his former life as General Monroe, it was still here. 

Why did she have to open this can of worms? They were happy, weren’t they? The past had even come back to play with them but it had only brought them closer together.

And then she saw his face, he looked pissed but his glittering eyes also told her she had hurt him. 

“Bass…“

“I get it. Why would you get over something so big. I did make your life into a living hell. Why would you forget about it? I get it… I just thought… We were over this.“

He took a step back. 

“I also thought we were over this.“ Bass shook his head at her words, his arms hanging on either side of his body. 

“Why are we even discussing this? It’s not like there’s someone out there offering me a way back there. It’s not like I’ve given you any reason to believe I’d go back back to that.“ He raised his hands in defeat, “I don’t know why we’re here again but I can’t talk around this again… I’m just,“ he turned to the door, “ I need some air.“

She kept her mouth shut, angry tears pooling in her eye. What had gotten into her? Fuck! Was she becoming her mother? 

She decided to wait for him on the couch, missing his warm body next to hers. She was just tired and frustrated. Talking of Connor and her dream had reminded her of what she thought of Bass back then. But he had proved her that he was so much more. Why then the doubts persisted? The terror that someday he will wake up again was growing as the afternoon went by. She waited and waited, Nora woke up again and he wasn’t back. Nora was fussy and Charlie was pissed. Bass must be at the bar. Of course. She’d be there too if it wasn’t for the baby. Finally, Nora fell asleep. Charlie sat on the couch waiting for Bass, ready to yell. 

When she woke up again he was carrying her to bed. She could smell the whisky in his breath.

“Put me down.“

“Easy Charlotte, you’ll wake Nora.“

“Wake Nora? Wake Nora? What the hell do you think I’ve being doing all that time? Taking care of your child. Our child!“ She would have yelled, instead she was hissing.

He dropped her unceremoniously on the bed and sat down next to her.

“Okay, I’m sorry it took me so long to get back home. I know,“ she opened her mouth, “please Charlie listen to me. I get it. The Republic, our past is always going to be here.I’m sor…“

“I don’t want you to apologize. I just…“

“I won’t do it. I thought about it and I came to the conclusion I won’t do it. Not for anything in the world. It doesn’t matter what I want but… More than the Republic I’d want Connor back or my folks. You and Nora to be happy. Miles to not show up in the middle of the night to kill me.“ His voice was raw like he had spent hours screaming. In the cold light of dawn, she could see his face. His eyes were earnest. She noticed a cut on his lip and a black eye.

“Jeez, Bass what happened to your face?“

“Nothing. Just an idiot who was looking for trouble. What matters is that... I promise, okay? I promise I will never try to get the Republic back. No matter what.“ His eyes were beckoning hers. Here he was, and she knew that this time he truly meant it. The Republic was no longer a heavy shadow between them.

“Okay,“ she cleared her throat, trying to keep the tears from falling, “okay. I believe you. And I promise I won’t bring it up again… and I won’t doubt you. I don’t know what got into me…“ His hands were cradling her face, his thumbs catching her tears. 

“No I get it. We’ve got a kid now… Things are so much more real. I don’t blame you Charlotte for asking. Most days I have no idea how you can even look me in the eyes without wanting to kill me. I just wish things were different.“ She didn’t pull away when he leaned forward to kiss her. It was a gentle brush of lips. His forehead was resting against hers as he looked into her eyes.

“It’s all kind of fucked up. Maybe I should have stuck with Timothy Helder.“ Bass pulled back laughing. He laid down his back, pulling her down with him. They laid on the bed, watching the shadows growing on the ceiling, their feet dangling on the edge.

“As long as we’re promising stuff. Can you please not bring the New Vegas thing up again?“ There he was, her silly insecure husband. Masking it in a gruff voice. 

“Me? I never brought it up. You did. I was just talking about my friend and your son. You had to bring the other thing up.“

The thing. He sighed audibly and took hold of her hand, their fingers interlacing.

“Okay. So what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. And I’m not building a new Republic in our backyard. Alright?“

“Alright. And now can we sleep before Nora wakes up again?“

“Gladly. After all, we do have some real things to deal with… a baby and a bunch of computers trying to kill us.“

They kicked their shoes off, pulledtheir clothes off and collapsed under the covers for a short blissful hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. :D
> 
> Yes, they already talked about it before. But I think it would be too easy if Charlie got over all of this so fast. Her past with Bass as her big bad wolf shaped her as a person. The Republic, even if now she can see some of its positive points was her enemy and took from her her family. She loves Bass, but General Monroe... well even if he's part of her husband, he still scares her a bit and makes her angry.
> 
> I've recently rewatched the season 2 and it reminded of the depth of the gulf between them (in spite of the attraction) but it also reminded me what Connor meant to Bass and how, in spite of everything, he changed him. 
> 
> I think they made a big step towards their future... They're definitely moving forward together.


	19. Boiling truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience ! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Charlie was finally feeling comfortable enough to venture out of the house with the baby. Nora wasn’t difficult, nor fussy. She went to see Aaron. Out of all the people in Willoughby, he was the only person she wanted to see. He opened the door without a smile :

“Hey Charlie what’s up?“ He didn’t even sound like himself.

“You said I could come anytime I wanted, to I’m here. Hi.“

“Yeah sure. sorry Charlie. It’s just that,“ she saw Priscilla peering from behind his shoulder.

“I know, I just thought you’d like some company“

“Come in kiddo.“ Kiddo, Miles called her that. She missed having him in their home but Nora’s incessant cries had been enough to make him camp out at Aaron’s. She had seen him earlier today but he had been busy kicking her ass to get her back into shape.

“Miles’ at the station?“

“Yeah…“

He sat down on a old soft grey couch but she chose a chair instead. With Nora tied to her chest, getting out of a slouchy couch would be hell. Aaron waved at Nora who couldn’t see him because she was facing her mother. She knew he was ill at ease with the baby and was more comfortable when kids started to talk. 

“So how are things going with all that?“

“Good thing is that I’m too tired to even think about…“ she glanced at Priscilla who was pacing, “the rest. But it’s a lot…“

“You know, I never thought we’d be sitting like this one day. You with a kid… But it doesn’t surprise me. I know these last few years you’ve trained under Miles and the others. But you’re still Ben’s little girl. And Ben he was simply amazing,“ It was strange how talking about her dad, now that Nora was here, didn’t make her eyes water up. It happened and she would carry him within herself forever; no matter what the Nano threw at her face. Aaron went on with a smile, “he was amazing with both of you. Sure Maggie did her best but I knew a little girl who didn’t want her around. Ben took it all on a stride. And you’re a lot like him when you’re not grumpy like Miles or like… “

“Don’t you dare,“ she gave him a steely look. He better not compare her to her mother.

“Yeah you’re equally scary when you want to. But what I mean is that you’re doing good kid. Your dad, your real dad, would be proud.“ They both knew how good her real father had been, far from this horrible caricature.

“Thank Aaron,“ She was smiling until she saw Priscilla right behind him with a big pail of steaming water, “watch out!“ she jumpred out of her chair. Thankfully, Aaron had moved quickly enough before Nano-Priscilla could splash him. Instead his couch was drenched in that scalding water as they stared.

“Come on,“ Charlie took Aaron’s hand dragged him out of the house. She was glad she hadn’t untied Nora from her chest. They raced though the town.

“Where are we going?“

“I don’t know,“ she sputtered. She truly didn’t know but her body knew, her instinct knew. When there was trouble there was only one place to be. Well, two places but they usually merged into one. She realized that as soon as she saw Bass and Miles standing in front of the police station. They saw her as soon as she saw them and they probably knew trouble wasn’t far behind.

They both made a beeline for her. She halted and realized she was still holding Aaron’s hand. She glanced at him, he didn’t look traumatized by their little adventure but still, she held on, as she explained in a few words what had happened.

“Without any provocation?“ Miles asked. She could see relief in his eyes. She knew all he wanted was to keep her mother safe from these creatures but he didn’t have the guts to fight Rachel’s resolve to hold on to that carcasse that pretended to be Danny.

“Yup.“ It was what they had been waiting for. Bass’ gaze was on her and Nora, although he wasn’t voicing his concern, she could see it in the blaze of his gaze and how his jaw set. She shook her head as she peered into his eyes. Even now it amazed her at times that she and Nora were always his foremost concern. 

“So let’s get that thing behind bars. “ He spoke but his gaze was still on her face, “we can talk about the other two later.“

He went inside to gear up. Miles lingered, his face lined and pale.

“She’s going to hate that…“

“I know but we can’t wait any longer. After you’re done, come home. We’ll wait for your guys there. Oh and bring grandpa.“ She knew it would reassure Miles to have her grandfather on their side when they decide to lock up the other Nanos.

Aaron and Charlie left Miles staring thoughtfully into the distance. There were a few steps away when Charlie heard Bass’ irritated voice :

“What the fuck are you waiting for? Go get your stuff Gramps. Fuck Miles you’re getting old.“

“And you’re not?“ 

“Me? Why would I? Did you see my young and hot wife? I’m in my prime.“

“Shut up! That’s my niece you’re talking about.“

They missed the rest of the banter but it brought a smile on Charlie’s face.

“They’re like an old married couple,“ Aaron mused. 

“You have no idea… “

Nora started to fuss only once they got to the house. She was glad to be freed from her confinement but not so happy about having to part from her mother.

“Come on Nora. Mom needs some rest or by the time you’re a teenager I’ll be a hunchback. Your dad and your great uncle have built this crib for you. You better use it.“

“Great Uncle,“ she heard Aaron laugh.

“Yeah, I think it suits him,“ she winked.

She settled on her favorite chair with a long sigh. She looked up and remembered Aaron who was standing in the middle of the room.

“Make yourself at home. There’s a bottle in the cereal box under the sink..“ when Aaron frowned her smile grew. “I know. Don’t ask… More Matheson Monroe stuff.“

By the time her guys and grandpa came home, it was late. Nora had been fed and was back in the crib. While Miles and Grandpa were arguing about something on the threshold, Bass stood next to them, his gaze connecting to hers.

He made his way inside. He placed a quick kiss in her hair and mumbled something about changing his shirt and went to their bedroom. She knew he was most probably staring at their baby sleeping in her crib by her parents’ bed. 

She had caught him many times just staring at Nora. She never mentioned it but it made her smile. She had no idea how she looked when she was interacting with her kid. It wasn’t so unusual, after all, she had been Danny’s primary caretaker for years. But seeing Bass with his daughter was like seeing a whole another person. His short time with Connor hadn’t given her any hints on how he was going to be as a dad. Connor was a man when he found him. Nora was just a baby. She teased him sometimes, that he was growing soft and he’d tease her about being a total mama bear. That she was. There was something fierce, almost animal like, that made her want to fight against anything or anyone that was threatening her family.

Her grandfather was now sitting next to her, and throwing dark glances towards Miles. From what she had gathered he wasn’t happy about Miles’ accusation that he was entertaining Rachel’s delusions about her ‘long lost family’.

Bass was back, he nodded at her silent question. They were truly a team. In the same manner that their bodies had been completely synchronized during a battle, or sex, they were now following the same rhythm with their daughter. 

Charlie stretched her legs to her toes as Aaron shared a few remarks on how Nano-Priscilla’s behavior had recently changed. She was sore and it annoyed her terribly. Before she had Nora, she had been so fit that even spending days running and fighting would only leave her tired, not sore. Now every single muscles were begging for her bed, and she had only trained for one hour with Miles this morning. Grandpa had finally cleared her for some light exercise : only light exercise… Not the type of exercise that would keep her up at night.

“... Hey! Come on! Let’s not get hasty guys.” Miles was basically her mother’s loudspeaker these days. He went from berating her grandfather for coddling her to trying to stop them from doing anything ‘hasty.’ 

“If you want to spend your life studying, be my guest but I’m putting them under bars.” Bass barked from the wall he was leaning against, he crept closer, “I’ve been saying that since the beginning. People come back from the dead : you shoot them. Unless you want a zombie outbreak.” He was pacing now, “Fuck. I’m tired of you guys talking like suburbans in their lame committees. What tree should we take down? Which house’s the prettiest? Someone tried to poison us. Priscilla tried to throw boiling water on Aaron. Ben is trying to build fuck knows what. And you’re still discussing this? They are not Ben, Danny and Priscilla. They are the Nano. We need to do something now before someone else gets hurt.” 

His hand went to his face, as he clasped his forehead. Charlie knew he was keeping his temper in check. He didn’t sleep so well, and had been smoking like a chimney. He had gotten in more fists fights than usual. She knew he had been keeping himself from uttering these words until now because of her. But he knew now that she thought the same thing.

“We can’t cater to mom’s fantasies. They are gone. We need to do something. Bass’ right, we should have locked them from the beginning.” She looked at her uncle as she spoke.

Miles nodded as did Aaron.

Their gazes converged to Gene. The old man looked ill at ease. At first he had been very diligent about telling them how strangely both creatures were behaving but he had become reluctant to act, perhaps afraid that it might send his daughter into another melt down.

“Grandpa. I don’t like either. But.. they are dead. I saw them dying, both of them,” Her voice caught in her throat but she went on with a rougher voice, “they died, they really died. These creepy robots won’t change it. It’s like with those kids that came back from the camps. They are gone. And we can’t wait for mom to understand that.” She was surprised there were no tears running down her cheeks. Bass sat down on her other side, his arm brushing against her, the top of his hands against hers. Miles cleared his throat. He was finally looking like himself. The uncle she had gotten to know on the road was still here, in the steely glint in his eyes.

“I know Ben… This isn’t Ben,“ this voice growing stronger and bolder with each word, “we know they aren’t them. Do you think I’d want to kill my own brother and nephew?” She saw Miles scowl under Gene’s hard stare, “Right, you do think I’d do it. Maybe I could’ve done it. But Charlie wouldn’t.” 

“I wouldn’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be over them dying… But they, those creatures are not them. So I’m not saying kill them. I still don’t like killing… I’m just… “ She heard Nora cry, “I don’t want to be scared for Nora or for Bass… Or any of you. We need to find out why they are here. And we have to make sure they aren’t going to attack us again.” Bass stood up but she shook her head and went to Nora instead. It wasn’t like she minded him taking care of the baby. It was just that she knew instantly what this cry meant and Bass couldn’t provide what Nora needed.

By the time Nora had settled down again and she made her way back, the rest of the group had finally decided to put the creatures behind bar. It would be hard to convince the good people of Willoughby and her mother that it was for the best but at least, Priscilla’s attack was enough to make their reports easier to write and more convincing for Texas.

 

The next morning was quiet. Nora was in her crib, Bass and Charlie enjoying their coffee in spite of what would happen later today. When their mugs were empty and a few crumbs were littering the table, Bass stood up. After a few glances, he finally spoke :

“You’re really sure?”

“Bass.. For the last time, I’m ok.” She got up to put their mugs in the already filled bassin. He followed her, she turned around to face him. His fingers brushed against her cheeks. He was standing so close, she was immersed in his scent. All she wanted was to lean forward and kiss him but her eyes were in his, and they were breathing together.

“Charlotte…”

“Sebastian….” She smiled her lips grazing his, her tongue darting out to part his lips. She kissed him deeply and felt his arms go around her waist, holding her so tightly. Her fingers clasped his nape to draw him closer. Every time was like their first kiss. When they parted, she let her head rest against his shoulder.

“Really, I’m fine. Those things wear their bodies but I saw them die.. Both of them.”

“You’re tougher than I am.” He admitted and she couldn’t help but laugh, “Really… Let me see them again for just a second and I’m gone.” Her gaze and smile dropped but his fingers laced into hers, “not anymore though. Now it’s different.”

She let out out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. His lips brushed against her forehead, cheeks and found her lips. 

Later, as they sat down side by side on the porch swing, she still had his hands in hers. She glanced at him before she spoke :

“I know mom’s going to yell at me. D’you know what I’m going to say? I loved them and I miss them. Both of them were so good… If Dad were back. If, I mean, the dad I remember would have asked me how I was, asked me about Maggie. He would have hugged Aaron. He would have been against you at first but he would have seen what I see. He always saw the best in people… Even mom, I guess. He never said anything about her leaving, even when I was yelling about it. And Danny? My sweet brother… Danny would have hugged me. He’d have told me about everything he saw when he was gone. He’d tease me about you, maybe be a bit protective and all but he’d also open up to the idea of you. He was always so nice with everyone. He’s the one who taught me how to give another chance to people. Even when I hated Maggie. He’d… I really miss both of them.” She was tearing up and she knew it was pointless to go on : they were gone, and these things were not even able to truly emulate them. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she shook her head :

“I don’t even get how any of us could even think for a second they could be back. “

“Sometimes, we become desperate. There was a time I’d have made a deal with the devil himself to get my family back. “ And he did, din’t he? Only he got a whole country instead of the few people he wanted by his side. He was looking away. That part of his life was something that always hung in the distance, like a cloud full of thunder and rain threatening the clear blue sky.

“I don’t get her, Bass. I don’t get mom. She’s a scientist but she’s so far gone.”

His arm was wrapped around her shoulder and his fingers were tracing circles on her arm.

“I have my issues with her.. But your mom really loved you guys. Danny and you were the only way I could make her cooperate. And I remember back in the days… Even with Miles all googly eyes for her, she still loved Ben and wouldn’t leave him until the whole world went to hell. You’re both so different, sometimes I forget she’s your mother.”

“She always loved Danny the best. I think she blames me for everything : him getting caught and dying. And she hates me for choosing you in spite of all this.”

“Charlotte..”

“No. There’s nothing to say. You already said it : we’re too different. We’re like oil and water. She’s going to hate us for doing that. But we have to.”

He kissed her hair and she was grateful for his silence. They sat wrapped up into each other’s presence, ignoring the world that was howling beyond their porch with the wind. It was much later that Bass got up and fastened his leather jacket.

She watched him leave, glancing once more over his shoulder. She nodded at him, her face devoid of any smile just certainty. She didn’t want to see it but she knew it was the only thing they could do. She had to protect her family. They had to protect their family.

 

Later in the day, she didn’t need to look out of the window to know who was frantically knocking at her door. Her mother burst in and found her way to the bedroom. Charlie muttered to Nora :

“Here comes your grandma. I already apologize for any bad word I’m going to use.”

“Charlie! They took them! Miles and that… Monroe took your father and your brother and thrown them in a cage like animals!“

“Mom, Nora’s about to drop off.” Charlie said in a whisper. Nora was still latched to her breast but she knew the baby was sleepy and there was no need to get her excited with noise.

“How can you be so calm about this?”

“Because they are right and I’m holding my daughter in my arms and she needs to sleep.”

“Charlie.. He has obviously brainwashed you. He’s pure evil, how could.. He has poisoned you: Turned you into something I…”

Nora was done. Charlie straightened up her clothes and stood up as she spoke, and gently propped up Nora against her shoulder. It was hard to keep her hands steady and not yell, her vision was blurring and she could feel her whole face heating up.

“Stop! Enough! You can’t talk about him this way.” Nora had burped and seemed to be able to relax in spite of the tension in the air. It was a good thing : the child of Charlie Matheson and Bass Monroe will need to know how to exist in a chaotic world. She gently placed the baby in the cot and made sure she was covered. She went out of the bedroom, her mother following her, and left the door ajar. She went on, until she was outside. She wanted to yell, to defend Bass, to scream like she hadn’t in a while but she knew she was facing a wall. Her heart was pouding but she was trying hard to slow it down.

“You need to think about this using your brain, mom. These things are not Dad and Danny. I saw them both dying with my own eyes. You’re the scientist, you can figure this out. I miss them, really. I love them like you have no idea… But they’re gone.”

“And do you remember who is respons..:”

“Stop. Stop deflecting this. This is about you and your inability to see the truth. Dad and Danny are dead. We both know it. I saw them die… You saw Danny… Now you need to leave before I yell. Bass is my husband,“ she surprised herself, since when the whole wedding thing meant something to her? And yet the word had slipped from her mouth. She went on, “he’s my family, part of my life. I can’t just let you use him every time you’re pissed off.”

“Charlie, how can you?” Her mother was full out : her gaze holding that judgmental contempt that she knew so well how to use, her face red with rage, and her mouth wide open to attack her only child over creatures who had nothing living in them. All for what? To come back again to Bass, pointing him out as the destroyer of all worlds. It was easier probably than looking into a mirror and seeing the person who had ended the world with a blackout.

Charlie kicked the wicker chair on the porch. There was no way out of this. Her mother will never stop seeing Bass as their only problem and remain blind on what was truly happening. Perhaps she had truly lost her remaining working braincells after the tower. Perhaps she had always been like this, and that was why her grandfather was terrified to see her fall apart again. Her mother was sick, really sick. And Bass was wrong, how could have this woman had ever loved her or her father?

Charlie leaned against the wall, her legs were trembling and she couldn’t even think straight. She just needed some quiet and her bed. She needed this senseless conversation to be over.

“Ok. You have to go now.” She knew how defeated she must be sounding. Maybe her mother would hear how tired she was. Maybe she’ll realize how ridiculous it all was. 

“Charlie! Im not going. He turned Miles and you against me. He has taken everything from me…” No her mother could only see what she wanted to see. When would this end?

Charlie was angry. She could feel those boiling waves covering her up. 

“Now! Please, mom I’m really tired. Just go.” Her mother just stood there, her arms on either side of her body, shaking her head as if Charlie was the one who was crazy.

“Suit yourself. Bass will be back in a bit. Please keep it down when you go hysterical on him.” And she let herself in, slamming the door for good measure. She instantly regretted the noise but she didn’t hear Nora. After gulping down a glass of water, Charlie went to lie down. Her back was comfortably nestled against the worn mattress as she stared at the ceiling. Her eyes wouldn’t close, and her whole body was filled with adrenaline. She was ready to run around the whole town but she couldn’t even stand up. Yesterday’s training was still weighing her down; or was it her mental exhaustion over her mother? She heard muffled voices and the front door opening. Through her lashes, Charlie saw Bass walk into the bedroom. He stopped at the crib, his hand reaching for their daughter as he leaned to kiss her. He stopped on his side of the bed, and kicked off his shoes. She closed her eyes as he laid down next to her. 

“It’s done?”

“Yeah. We’ll need to keep a eye on them. Miles’ staying at the station tonight. “ He was quiet for a while until she asked :

“Did you see my mom?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She let out a laugh, she was now the one who was on the edge of hysteria. She heard him chuckle quietly. She turned to her side to nestle against him. Better to forget Rachel Matheson who had completely lost it. She had enough people to take care of her. Charlie didn’t need her. She had all that she needed and she knew that her family, her real family, needed her.

Her eyes opened as she stared into the dark : what about Miles? Would he go back to taking care of her mother and let her use him whatever way she pleased? Or would he finally be free?

When will their life will ever be simple? Or maybe this was how every human being in this world lived like… She closed her eyes. They would all be fine. She knew it. They had made it so far. And Miles? He was Miles… he’ll find his way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Rachel is pisse but look at how close the others are growing! :)  
> i know there was more talking than action but it was necessary for them to work through these things.
> 
> Let's see if things become easier for them without the Nano around. 
> 
> Once more, thank you for your patience.
> 
> I have already written all the chapters. I just take a lot of time to edit them before posting them because I'm an annoying perfectionist.
> 
> But don't worry, if Ie ever feel like I can't edit the rest anymore, I'll just post the unedited chapters. This story will have an end. I won't abandon you!
> 
> Thank you for the support, comments and kudos. They really make my day and encourage me in all my writings (whether it's for this fic, fanfics or my own original work.)


	20. The one and only Sebastian Monroe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you THANK YOU for your patience.
> 
> I've been stuck in some kind of perfectionist nightmares. A lot is happening in this chapter and I wanted to nail it right. I hope you enjoy it. And I hope you're still reading this.
> 
> Thank you for the support. Hang in there. I'm not done with this story yet.

No amount of questioning, torture or psychological games made the zombies, as Bass and Miles called them, talk. Nothing. They would just sit in total silence, staring at the wall, not even sleeping. Rachel was brought in a few times by Gene and Miles to show her how unnaturally they were behaving. She had also stopped talking and would spend hours scribbling away. Miles told Charlie those notes were about her and Danny’s childhood. 

Bass found Charlie in their small backyard. She was doing some target practice Nora was in the pram they had gotten from the Porter house. He watched from the backdoor as Charlie, his Charlotte now, arm her crossbow and aimed at a target on the opposite end of the garden. To think he could have gone from this world by this very hand. Turns out, she hadn’t hesitated like Miles but they didn’t have the history they had now. Somehow their road to Willoughby had been the foundation to whom they were now.

He watched how her body moved smoothly, like an amazon. How much war had shaped each of them… General Monroe might still be lingering in his bones, but she was still the woman who took down the Republic.

What if the General’s ghost overcame him?

Would she kill him now if it came to that? He took a step and she spun around. The hunter and her prey, she carefully disarmed her crossbow and left it on the ground to greet him.

He lost himself in the taste of her, her warmth. He pulled back to glance at Nora. She was gurgling at the birds fliting by. She was growing so fast, it amazed him. He had never thought about how humans grew from babies. Babies were not something he often thought about, not since he lost that first baby girl. His hand in Charlie he came closer to the pram to look at their daughter. 

The emotion caught his throat. For too long, he had become like a springless mountain, where everything was frozen into glaciers and black ice. Now it was all melting down. 

It was fucking overwhelming.

After the day he had spent and this delicious homecoming, two sides of his life were colliding. He looked away.

“How was… everything?“ She tried.

“Not very conclusive.“

Charlie wasn’t smiling when he glanced at her. She let go of his hand and sat down on the ground, against the wall. He followed her suit. The backyard was a little wild with a lawn so unkempt that would have made his father lose it with his beloved land mower. But right now it kind of reminded him of their time on the road. It suited Charlie and it suited what he had become on the way home.

“Penny for your thought.“ She didn’t look at him. Instead she worried her lip between her teeth. He knew he was in for some soul searching. When she finally spoke, she still wouldn’t meet his eyes :

“Look, I know what you both need to do with those things. And I know they aren’t alive. It’s just… “ She trailed off, her eyes so full of emotions. Of course it would bring things up. 

They both knew what he and Miles had done all day. Something that wasn’t unusual to them but something that hadn’t occupied them side by side in a long time. It was like riding a bicycle. It came too easy to both of them. He wanted her to look at him but she wouldn’t. 

“I know some things have to be done. I know that. And I know you guys are good at it. “

“Hey Charlotte, look at me.“ His hand cupped her face and turned it gently but firmly towards him. Here; he could read it in her eyes. It wasn’t about the Nano. It was about their past, his past. His fucking past that would never let them be free. General Sebastian Monroe.

“I can’t change the past. I can’t change who I am.“ This time it wasn’t about the Republic, it was about him. About the monster that was born after the blackout. 

“I’m not asking you too. We’ve all done stuff. Even grandpa… “

“You haven’t.“ His hand was caressing her soft cheek. Charlie Matheson. She could act as hard and tough as she wanted to but she wasn’t even in the running of the monster of the year. She rolled her eyes. He knew she hated it when he treated like she was a saint or something. In his books, she was the definition of goodness.

«I’ve killed people…“

“War isn’t the same thing. Most of what I’ve done, and what Miles has done wasn’t done in wartime. To keep a Republic and its people in line I had to take certain measures. Sometimes personally.“

There. He said it. The sun was still shining on them. Charlie was looking at him with her limpid blue eyes, just a few steps away from them their daughter was blissfully sleeping. One day she will find out about her father. He will have to be the one to tell her. He was who he was.

“That’s what’s bothering you…“

“Yeah,“ she sighed, “I get war. I’ve been in one. I get many things… Bass I’m not my mother. I understand that hard measures have to be taken. “ He could see her struggle in how her eyes were darkening, She took the hand that he had left on her cheek, in hers. He saw the scar his militia had left on her wrist. 

“It’s the rest you don’t get. The torture… “ He remembered how Charlie had helped Rachel neutralizing the mustard gas, something in her eyes telling him she didn’t approve of Miles’ tricks but didn’t like his either, “the mustard gas.“ She nodded. Relieved that he had voiced what she had been trying to say. His eyes going from her to the pram, “Nora Clayton.“ Her hands tightened around his, she shook her head.

“I’m not asking you to justify your actions. I just… I know who you were when we started this. It’s just that…“ and once more, she was trailing off. His eyes urged hers, he could take it.

“We’ve agreed that there won’t be any Republic in our future. If… What if… I know I said the past was behind. I’m not blaming you. It’s just that you wanted to use mustard gas on civilians. If Miles hadn’t stopped you. And now you’re both torturing those things.We need that information. I understand that But….“

“You’re worried I’m going to become him again.“

“It’s part of who you are.“ She blurted out, terrifying him to the core, what was she about to say? He tried to keep from lashing out. He couldn’t lose her, he couldn’t lose Nora. He couldn’t lose his family again over something he didn’t seem to be able to change. Her hands were now holding both of his, her body speaking to his in the same way their eyes had spoken for years.

“I hate that we’re here again,“ he hated the sound of his own voice. She must hear the fear, the anger even. She shook her her head.

“No we’re not. I know you Bass. And I’m not scared of you. I’m just saying…You wanted to let the people of Willoughby die in collateral damage so that you could get back at the patriots. And I know you’ve changed. Hell we’ve both changed together. I never thought I’d be here one day… But… You’re torturing again. Even if they are robots or something, they are… And it’s not just you i’m worried about. I’m worried about Miles, “she was on a roll, she couldn’t stop, “It’s not that i don’t trust you. I do. I trust you. I just… What would you do if… Say someone hurt me.“

“Keep you safe. Make them pay.“ He kept his sentences short because imagining this was more than he could handle. Their gaze connected, “Charlotte, if anyone hurts either of you, I’m not going to sit on my hands. And I’m not going to apologize for this.“

She didn’t answer but she didn’t look away either. There’s wasn’t any loathing in her eyes, nor any Rachel Matheson hollier than thou judgement. It was just Charlie, Charlotte. Pure 100% Charlotte.

“Okay.“ It was barely above a whisper. This was the girl who had lost her father, her brother and countless loved ones because of something he had created and controlled. And yet, here they were : married, with a kid. His gaze dropped. 

“I can do my best not to tear down the town. Even say hello to the desperate housewives next door. But at the end of the day. I did what I did. And I’m… I’m me. I can’t promise you I will start giving free hugs and turning the other cheek. Even before, that wasn’t my style.“

“I know.“ Her voice was still quiet, her eyes waiting for his when he looked up.

“But if you want to know… I’m not enjoying whatever we’re doing right now with the Nano. I never did. That was more Miles’ thing. And don’t worry, your mom has him on a tight leash. What I did before….“

“Will have to stay in the past.“ She concluded. He was relieved. The whole thing with Nora Clayton was hard to swallow, even for him. He had played games with Rachel but Rachel was as good as he was. Nora was more…. More like Charlie in some way. And something had happened, something dark in him, something that had wanted to suck truth out her with the darkest methods. He had let them torture her. Like they had never been friends. The dinner, the whole sick thing… like she wasn’t his brother’s, best friend’s girl. But Nora Clayton was gone. There would be no absolution. Just Charlie’s love and Miles shrug.

Charlie stood up.

“Okay. Now that this is settled, I still have a few more targets to hit. »

He watched Charlie hit bull’s eyes from different distances and he couldn’t help but smile. His girl was good. She would have killed in New Vegas. She might be a lot like her uncle, but she wasn’t Miles : when she hated it was thoroughly, when she loved it was completely. She would have killed him without hesitation.  
He heard Nora fuss in the pram. He went to pick her up. Even now, feeling her small warm body in his arms was like a miracle. Each gurgle, and glance was a fucking miracle. Charlie joined them with a smile on her lips. He made a mental note to come back home earlier tomorrow so that she could go hunting. 

“You know, I’m not bringing up the fact that you could have killed me that night in New Vegas. I even let you sleep in my bed with that crossbow under it.“ She rolled her eyes but she was smiling.

“Didn’t we agree that whatever happens in New Vegas stays in New Vegas?“

“We were not in New Vegas when you hit me with that metal rod. That hurt by the way,“ he made a face as they went inside the house. Nora was relaxed against his chest as he slumped down on the couch.

“You hit me back.“

“Correction : I had to hit you once on your solar plexus to make you stop. You are a terrifying woman.“

She was laughing now. He loved that laugh, never thought he’d ever be addicted to another sound now that there was no Ipods. She was still looking at him like she always did. They had done it again, braved the fire and went back to cuddling on the couch. 

Charlie was sitting on her porch with Nora. Miles and Bass had fixed up a swing, working in shifts as they always needed someone at the jail to keep an eye on the zombies.  
The late afternoon offered distractions to Charlie as she watched the comings and goings of the town folks. She would comment about them to Nora who would gurgle or even smile. It made her smile to see how comfortable her daughter was, in spite of all the angry rants she was sometimes witnessing, or the tension both parents tried to keep from their bedroom, she slept soundly and eat greedily. She was a joy. Of course, there were sleepless nights, a few emergencies, or so they thought, involving having to drag Gene out of his bed in the middle of the night. But Nora was fine, she was the only thing that seem to be going well.

Charlie noticed a familiar figure coming towards the house. Bass’ gaze was riveted on them but his shoulders were slumped. 

“How are my girls?”

“Well fed and relaxed. How’s our boy?”

 

“Tired. They just sit there and stare. I don’t think we can keep this up.” He sat down next to her, and massaged his temples.

“Austin sent a guy to check what was going on here. We told him about the poisoning attempt. Didn’t tell him about the whole raised from the dead crap.”

“At this point, we can all agree they are not human. I think it’s time to do something more radical.” Bass opened his eyes and stared into hers, she could see her words had surprised them, “I’m being pragmatic. We don’t know what those things are up to. We need both you and Miles focused on real things.” He shrugged. What was real in this small dead end town? It made him remember Aaron’s visit to the station : 

“Aaron’s leaving for a while. He wants you to be the interim maire.”

“Wait, what?”

“Says he needs to find a computer or something. You know? To do his geeky stuff, try to find out of the Nano are still doing stuff. I know..We told him that there was no power left. So good luck to him on his unexpected journey.”

“I have to see him. He’s going to die travelling alone…”

“He’ll stop by to say goodbye. I don’t think anyone can change his mind.”

Charlie nodded but she didn’t want to speak anymore. Aaron leaving would leave a big gulf. She knew him well enough to know that he wouldn’t leave if he didn’t have a reason. He wouldn’t leave just like that. She looked down at Nora who was sleeping in her arms. She was too small, she couldn’t be left with her crazy mother and overworked Bass. 

“Can’t Miles go with him?”

“We can barely keep up our watch the zombies routine, Charlotte.”

Aaron dropped in the early morning the next day. Bass had been out for his shift, so Charlie had all the leisure to argue with Aaron and his crazy idea of leaving. He was convinced it was only with a computer could solve, he was also convince that he might find people with working computers in something called Silicon Valley. No amount of reasoning could change that. She hugged him for a long time, and watched him go from her open door. 

Later, she managed to fix herself a snack before Nora woke up again asking for her own snack. They both went to sleep. 

Charlie was awoken by a wet noise. In a sleepy haze, she wondered if Bass was preparing a steak. But as she fully woke up, she realize the noise was coming from outside. After checking on a blissfully asleep Nora, Charlie went to peek from the kitchen window. The window hadn’t been cleaned recently but she could tell there was something wrong with the porch. She opened the door and was hit by the scent of fresh blood. The whole porch had been splashed with fresh blood, on the steps she noticed a dead dog’s head, and on the swing and deckchair strangled cats. She had seen death, battles and crows pecking, but this went beyond anything she had witnessed in her normal mundane life. Her mouth was open, her breath harshly coming and out. She realized her boots were covered with the blood she had stepped on. She left them on the porch as she raced barefoot inside. Wiping her feet clean, she went to look for something to clean up the mess.

For once, Gene had decided to keep his eye on the ‘specimens’ as he called them. He had assured both Miles and a less concerned Bass that it wouldn’t be a problem. They stopped at the bar to have a drink. They weren’t arguing today, only reminiscing about their childhood. In moment like these, Bass could find his brother again. There wasn’t anyone else left in the world that remembered his exuberant family. They were both sporting a smile when they made their way to the house. Bass had insisted he came in, Charlie could do with the company. The sun was dipping low, wrapping the city in a copper light.

As they neared the house, Bass noticed something different. Miles slowed down too :

“Did you guys paint the porch?”

“Where would we find that time? That’s not paint…” He stilled as all his instincts screamed at him and his heart was beating wildly against his chest. He had been here before. He had felt this panic before. No, no, no! Shelly, mom and dad, his annoying sisters… No, it couldn’t be happening again. He saw Charlie’s boots by the door and the blood.. It was everywhere.

“No.. Fuck no. Charlie! Charlotte! Where are you…” He ran even though he couldn’t breathe properly, his throat barbed with terror, “Charlotte!” Blood was dripping from the porch, into the stairs. He almost slipped as he tried to understand what he was seeing, there was something slumped by the side, small enough to look like a… The thought couldn’t truly compute in his mind. He was mumbling, screaming, or just thinking? The door opened and Charlie was standing there with a mop and bucket. He let out a harsh breath but his head was still spinning. So much for being everyone’s favorite bogeyman. 

“We need more water to clean this up.”

“What the fuck happened here? What the hell? Where’s Nora? Charlie I thought.. I thought.” He could hear Miles joining them. Charlie crossed the distance separating them, not caring about the blood staining her naked feet. She was in his arms before she could say a world, he clasped her against his chest, breathing in her familiar scent.

“I’m okay, we’re both okay. I think someone slaughtered a bunch of animals... “

He pulled away to look at her face, and drank in her gaze. She look worried but not scared, he was the one who was still shaking. Miles took hold of the bucket and grumbled something about getting more water. Bass knew he should move and help clean the mess, but all he could do was look at Charlie and hold her.

“You’re ok Bass? I wanted to clean this before you could see it. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be fine.. It just…” he hoped she could read it in her eyes, she nodded as he asked again,”you’re ok?”

“Yes, we’re fine. Nora is still sleeping. Come on, let’s clean this up before everyone adds cat killers to your list of sins.” Her tone was gentle but he couldn’t smile at her failed attempt at making light of his worse fear. She brought out another bucket that had some water in it and they started to clean. Miles joined them with more water. He collected the dead animals, dogs and cats :

“Seems like someone wanted to leave a message.” Charlie looked up from the steps she was scrubing like her life depended on it :

“It can’t be them? Right? They were under your eyes?”

Bass was sopping up the blood with a sponge, he looked at his friend and his wife and shook his head. He was a paranoid little shit he knew it, but it isn’t paranoia when they are really after you, right? Charlie could get over past, Miles could even forget their joint disaster… but not everyone was so forgiving. He shook his head again and muttered :

“It’s because of me. The poison, this. This is aimed at me. And it’s not the zombies. It’s someone who wants to scare me away.”

“We don’t know that.”

“What more proof do you need Charlotte? I don’t want any other proofs. I’m camping out on this porch until I catch the fucking coward who did this and beat the living daylight out of him.”

Charlie considered him and nodded. This was their family, their home. They finished cleaning up in the early evening. Neighbors watched them from afar but nobody came to offer their help, which sent Bass cursing under his breath.

Charlie was settled with Nora when both men came in after having disposed off the animals. They both looked their age for once, pale and with deep lines etched on their faces. Bass sat down next to her and placed a gentle kiss on the head of their daughter who was nestled against against Charlie. He leaned against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. Miles was pouring himself a finger of whisky. She could feel each of her limbs, heavy and painful. They were all exhausted from their exertion. Bass’ eyes flew open and she could see in them a firm resolution :

“We can’t stay in this house. I can’t leave you both here alone even for a minute. Who knows what they’ll do next. Miles’ you have to come back.”

Miles winced and shook his head, “I can’t leave Rachel She’s a mess.” 

Charlie’s gaze dropped, ever since her mother had come back into their lives she was always the first thing in Miles’ head. She positioned a sated Nora against her shoulder. Bass shrugged :

“Okay. So we’re moving in.”

“Uhh.. not sure Rach…”

“I don’t give a fuck. It’s that or I’m.. I’m becoming the fucking interim mayor and I’m starting all of it again. No way can we raise Nora while we’re constantly checking over our shoulder.” 

He wasn’t fidgeting anymore. He was sitting up straight, his eyes fixed on Miles. He only needed a uniform and General Sebastian Monroe would be back. She knew where he was coming from, now that all the backstory of the republic was engraved in her mind. And, she didn’t blame him.

“If you explain all this to mom, she’ll get it. I know I’m not on top of her list but I’m still her daughter and Nora’s her granddaughter. And we’re not going anywhere without Bass.”

“Okay, so I guess I’ll go break the news to her. Don’t expect any warm welcome.”

“We aren’t,“ bit back Bass.

Bass walked him to the door, and stood a few minutes at the threshold looking outside. He finally closed the door, and locked it. Something they often neglected to do. He came back to stand against the wall, facing her. Nora was fast asleep.

“I thought it was over. People were just scared of me and that was it. But it’s not. I’m so sorry Charlotte.” His voice was low, painful to hear, “I wouldn’t give a fuck if it was just me. I’d take them down and not give a single fuck. But you and Nora. With both of you… I thought.. I thought we’d have a fresh start. But I’m always going to be Sebastian Monroe, right?“

“Bass, we don’t know. We don’t know who did it, and why. It could be something else. Something I did.”

“You?” He chortled, “you didn’t do anything. It’s me. Let’s just… Let’s pack and go. I don’t want to stay here any longer.”

They gathered a few things, some of their valuables and a few necessary items, and of course all the paraphernalia that Nora required. As Charlie was hunting down another baby blanket. Bass stood by the cot, his arms folded over his chest. She glanced at him, as she kneeled down in front of the small dresser they used for Nora’s things. 

“Bass? You’re not going to…” She located the blanket, got it out and stood again to face him, ”you’re not going to lose it again? Right? No more General Monroe?”

“I can’t guarantee that, Charlotte. I can’t let people hurt you or Nora. If it weren’t for your safety, I’d stay here and hunt the bast…”

“Nora needs you whole and healed. I need you. You can’t go down that road again, Bass. You’re not alone.” Her last words were like a magical incantation : the grim face of a warrior faded into the worried face of a husband and father. She slipped her hands in his folded arms and took hold of his hands, the baby blanket falling to their feet.

“We’re all together.. We’ll find out who it is and.. And I’ll kill them. You don’t have to.” She could fight off whoever wanted to hurt their family. She was also a soldier. He was smiling :

“You’re not going to take this pleasure away from me.” She made a face, and leaned forward to kiss him softly. His fierce kiss made her almost lose her footing, but he was holding her steady. They both parted with a start when they heard a knock and Miles’ voice.

“We really can’t stay here…”

“Yeah… But it’s going to be hard there. The doctor finally cleared me for extra curricular activities.” In this context, it was better to her refer to her grandfather as the the doctor.

“You’re telling me that now?” Bass let out a frustrated growl.

“Are you both dressed?” Miles came in the room, his hands on his eyes  
.  
“Stop fucking around Miles. What did she say?”

“Nothing.” He dropped his hand from his face, and started to pick up the bags they had prepared, “just stared at me. She’s still in shock.”

Charlie sighed, her eyes meeting Bass’. Yes, it was going to be hard but this was their life. Better alive than dead, right?


	21. No place like home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems I'm taking more and more time between each update.  
> I am sorry for keeping your waiting.
> 
> Thank you for your ongoing support. I really appreciate it.
> 
> I might take some time (life has been terribly distracting!!!) but I will keep on updating this fic until the end.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this little chapter.

Charlie let out a long sign as she looked around : this house had been a home for a few months now. The first one she had found after she left the Sylvana Estates. And now everything was changing again. Miles was avoiding her gaze, he had his usual mask on, the ghost of a smile and his usual sarcastic glint in his eyes. He was worried about her mother, there was no doubt. Yep, she knew that frown he couldn’t hide.

Her mother had the uncanny ability to retreat into herself every time she realized she was the cause of some problem. It was most probably her way of dealing with her guilt. 

For the life of her, she couldn’t understand what Miles saw in her, her gaze went to rest on Bass who was folding a baby blanket, and she had to smile : her uncle had no idea what she saw in Bass either.

“It’s not like we have any choice,“ Miles finally met her gaze as she went on, “she’ll have to find a way to bear us.“

“I’ll take care of her,“ Miles looked like he was eating something sour. 

“And Gene will usually be there,” added Bass, “and if she really freaks out… We’ll just“ he dropped the folded blanket in the bag and held her gaze, “we’ll move somewhere else.“

She nodded but turned her back to get more clothes out of the cupboard. Where would they go? At least, there was some sort of goodwill here because of her grandfather and mother. Elsewhere… Everywhere, someone will recognize Sebastian Monroe.

They gathered their things and left the house. Charlie locked the door behind them. Miles and Bass were ahead with their bags, she had Nora slung against her chest. Fuck. Was she tearing up? It wasn’t like they were really leaving. But locking this door reminded her of another locked door. Maggie. 

What was the color of that door? Why couldn’t she remember. It was faded… It was…

“What’s the hold up Charlie?“ Miles’ voice brought her back to reality, “come on kiddo.“ He hadn’t called her kiddo in a long time. It made her smile. She turned around and joined them on the sidewalk.

“We’ll be back,“ Bas’ voice was barely a whisper, his eyes were louder and warmer. It wasn’t like last time. They were just temporarily moving to another house she knew very well. She wasn’t leaving anyone behind. Instead, she had her two most favorite men on either side of her. And she would be glad to see her grandfather again.

Her initial burst of emotion had faded away. Her attention was caught, instead, by the faces watching them cross the town. She knew that both of her men were probably giving their best death stares. She was looking for answers in those blank faces, some were smiling but their eyes were dull. Each and everyone were watching them. It made her angry.

She swallowed the words she knew there was no point saying. On sunday they will go to church and hear the preacher talk about casting the first stone. And none of them will think they lacked that christian charity they pretended to have. After all, they’ll always be better than Miles Matheson and Sebastian Monroe. 

Maybe Bass was right, they’d be better off somewhere far away. She shrugged, one step after the other would be better than leaping.

They arrived at the Porter house to find Rachel standing in the doorway. As soon as they were close, she raised a shotgun and aimed it at Bass.

“He isn’t coming in here.”

“Rach…”

“Mom, what is this?” So much for her mother still being in shock. Wizened beyond age Miles was a dumb fool when it came to her mother. He was rushing to her.

“Hey! Hey Rach…Put it down.“ She didn’t acknowledge his words, and he froze a few steps from her. 

“He got my daughter and my granddaughter in danger and accused my…” 

Bass raised his hands, she could see a flash of anger in his eyes before he closed them and opened them again :

“Come on Rachel, Charlie and Nora are my family. We’re friends.” Charlie could hear a hint of hesitation in his voice. She could bet he would be yelling if he didn’t already feel so guilty. The mighty Sebastian Monroe was chewing his words and pride. Any other day, he would have given Rachel as good as she gave. But today, he believed he was the reason his family had to hide. She could see it in his face. Either emotions could erupt any time. Anger and shame often trickled down the fortress that was Sebastian Monroe.

It made her face burn up and her eyes narrow. She took a step towards her mother, keeping Nora clasped in her arms.

“Mom. We’re not going anywhere without Bass. Either the three of us stay in that house or we stay with you guys. Or we leave for good.” She kept her voice level, trying to appeal to her mother’s reasonable side. But Rachel’s eyes were full of lightning, she looked like a wild animal ready to pounce.  
Miles went up to the porch and draped an arm around her tense shoulders. He whispered something in her ear. She lowered the shotgun and Miles grabbed it from her hands. Bass and Charlie shared a look but he dropped his gaze. She knew he felt bad. It was something that amazed her even now. Not in a billion years would she would have guessed that General Sebastian Monroe was capable of guilt back in the days of the Republic. She knew her mother had valid reasons but it was time to let it all go. There was a child involved. Nora was gurgling in her arms but soon she would be howling like a wolf cub, asking for her next meal. Miles was talking to her mother in a low voice but she suddenly pushed him away and screamed loud enough to scare Nora into tears :

“He’s a murderer. A rapist. He’s not my son in law. He has trapped her into a seedy arrangement and you’re saying…”

Charlie saw Bass open his mouth, his eyes dark with fury, she shook her head. Instead she dislodged Nora from her arms to hand him the baby. As he was securing her against his chest, Charlie marched to her mother.

“Mom. I know, we all know what you think about my marriage and about Bass. Believe me when I say that neither of us want to stay here but we’ve got Nora and someone is trying to kill us,” try as she might her voice couldn’t stop from rising at each word, ”I know you hate both of us. But there’s Nora and we have nowhere else to go. Let. Us. In. Now!”

Something clicked in Rachel’s mind, Charlie saw her blink as she stepped away from the doorway and into the house. Bass gave her Nora as he headed back to get the bags he had discarded. Inside, Rachel was pointing to the bedroom Charlie had once used when she was staying here. It’s the room her grandparents had set up for the grandchildren. Bass made a face as soon he got in the bedroom. The two beds in opposite sides of the room and were ridiculously small.

“One battle after the other,” muttered Charlie as she pat his shoulder. Miles had set up the crib by the wall opposite the window. She settled Nora in it but she knew from her daughter’s little whine that it would soon be dinner time.

Bass nudged Miles and cocked his head. Miles groaned, “can’t you sleep in two separate beds?”

“Not you too. Come on Miles…”

“Just saying…” There was a wry smile playing on his face. And she was relieved to see that Bass was no longer sporting that furious glare. Instead he had an amused look.

“Sure bro. We can fit in that bed but it might make things… louder,“ and with that his smile grew as Miles’ face decomposed.

“Okay, okay. I’m helping you. Just shut up. I told you I don’t want to hear anything about… About that kind of crap.“ 

They moved the bed Danny had used so that it was now next to Charlie’s. Both beds barely gave enough space for two grown adults, especially someone who took so much space in bed, Bass, and someone who tossed and turned the whole night, Charlie.

As Miles was retreating out of the room, Bass turned to him :

“Who’s sleeping next door? Please tell me it’s the pantry or something.”

“Sorry to break it to you but it’s our room.” Miles was smirking as he left them and closed the door behind him. Bass looked utterly done

“Fuck…” 

“Who cares?”

“Do you want your mom to come in when…” Charlie burst out laughing. Bass joined in. At this point, there wasn’t anything else they could do. She brushed her lips against his stubbled cheek. It pricked her lips but she wouldn’t want him any other way, She kissed his lips and was rewarded with his lips inventing her for another kiss.

“We’ll survive this. Plus, we’ll have babysitting.” Her lips fluttered against his ear as her voice dipped,,  
“We could sneak out during the night and find a secret spot.” She felt the shiver that went through him,”and we can be as loud as we want.” There. His arm pulled her to his lap as he kissed her deeply again. His fingers digging into her scalp. It really had been too long. An indignant cry made them pull appart. 

Nora was now loudly demanding her next meal. Charlie extricated herself from Bass. She looked around but there wasn’t any chair save for the plastic one she had once used as a child. She sat down on the bed with Nora.

“Forget it. We’ll have to wake someone up to tell them we’re leaving Nora with them. And I’m not cut out to explain the facts of life to my family.” But she knew it was way too late to back down for her, her gaze flickered up and was met by his blue eyes.

Those eyes that she could never get enough of sent a jolt through her whole body. It had been far too long since they had been together. And she was finally cleared for sex. She had already started to take the herbal extracts all girls took nowadays to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. It was high time.

“Okay. Okay, we’ll see.” She had to look away and focus on their daughter. He left the room, muttering something about needing air. It was a bad mix : her mother’s belligerence, their forced cohabitation and the needs they both had been carrying for so many months. Add to the mix how any life or death situation made their need for intimacy higher and more desperate. It was going to end badly. A frustrated Bass was an aggressive wolf ready to attack. Her whole body was craving him, like the earth craves water after a draught.

Miles left for his shift and Gene came back from his observation session as he liked to call it. He had been told about their new living arrangement. He was having dinner in the kitchen, Rachel had taken her plate to the living room. Nora was sleeping in the room, Charlie had left the door ajar. As she greeted her grandfather, she looked at Bass’ plate. He wasn’t done yet but he had to.

“Grandpa, Bass and I need.. Want to go for a walk. You know? Fresh air and all that.” She could feel Bass’ stare and her grandfather’s eyes growing bigger,”can you keep an eye on Nora? I just put her down so it should be fine.. But we’ve been cooped up all day and mom’s giving us the silent treatment. And a walk would be great.”

“Yeah, a walk would be amazing,” added Bass without looking at her.

“You can go for your ahem.. Walk. I’ll look after Nora.” Both jumped out of their chairs as if they were on fire and left the kitchen.

“I should have been a tad bit less obvious,” Charlie’s cheeks were still warm from the encounter but Bass was just laughing. 

“I’ve heard worse… Once…”

“Remember the rule? I’m not asking, don’t tell.” Hearing about Bass’ fun stories from the past always gave her a rise and made it too apparent that they had a huge gap when it came to experience, “besides, we have better things to do.”

She took his hand and drew him into the woods, they walked a few steps before they were distracted by each other. Despite the darkness, Charlie found his lips. Their first kiss was a hungry one, Bass almost slipped in the mud.

“Should have brought a blanket or something..”

“For a ...walk? Afraid of a little mud General Monroe?” His fingers had found her skin under her shirt, they tumbled down tugging at each other’s clothes. She was on top of him, pulling his shirt off, kissing his lips, cheeks, and ravenously bitting his shoulder, making him growl. It had been far too long. He rolled on top of her, She felt the cold mud seeping into her hair, marring her skin, but she didn’t care, all he focus was on the taunt body merging with hers. She reached up to kiss him again, her nails digging into his curls. Here it they could be as noisy as they wanted, it was their sanctuary.

Much later, they came back to the dark house, finding Miles drinking in the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?”

He didn’t look up from his glass,”left Howie with them. What’s the point? Nothing ever happens.”

Charlie didn’t want to go into the implication of involving the trainee from Texas into their mess, she was too deliciously tired to care and she had a feeling Nora would soon need her. 

“We need some real work. Babysitting those creepsters isn’t giving us any action.” Bass was mumbling.

“Agreed,” Miles looked up and his eyes went as wide as saucers,” What on this fucking earth happened to you? Oh wait.. Don’t tell me…” He made a sour face.  
Charlie appraised Bass there was mud plastered everywhere, a hickey on his neck and fading bite marks here and there. She was pretty sure she looked like a swamp creature herself.

Tonight, they had roamed into the wild.

Charlie found the bucket of water and the towel she had left in the bedroom. In the grey darkness, she scrubbed some of the mud away and made a face when Bass tiptoed to their bed. He shrugged and joined her in her feeble attempt at cleaning up.

They were almost clean when they climbed in their tiny bed.

“My back….“ moaned Bass, “I’m too old for this…“

“Somehow I’m not convinced you’re too old… for anything.“ Charlie whispered back, “or at least, you were not less than an hour ago.“ She kissed his cheek softly. Gone was the wild need, now she was tired and she needed to feel warm and safe.

Charlie spent most of the night sleeping on top of Bass. He didn’t complain about his back again, it was that or sleeping on the floor. It really wasn’t big enough for them,

Bass was gone when Charlie woke up in the morning. Miles was still hanging out in the kitchen but he had changed his clothes. Her mother was making coffee. She silently poured some in Charlie’s mug.

“Morning.“ Her mother stared at her face, her gaze freezing on her arm. Charlie scrubbed her hand against her arm, cursing at herself for forgetting to wear something that covered her arms. Bass had left an angry bruise. And she was pretty sure, his body still had souvenirs of their little honeymoon.


	22. Tendrils of family

There was a steely silence in the kitchen as Rachel sipped her coffee. Charlie was leaning against the counter, trying to find something to say. She heard her grandfather’s familiar step. He peered in :

“Charlie! Did you fall?” His concern made her gaze drop and her face heat up : this was going to be a very long day. One hand in her hair confirmed that it was still tangled with twigs and leaves. Perhaps, Bass was right : next time it would be better to bring some kind of blanket. 

“Something like that. I’m fine.” And her grandfather must have noticed something else, her bruised lips and her bashful face because his face had reddened and he was looking away quickly. She wondered if things would have been different if her husband and lover was someone other than Bass. Jason would have fit , well that is if he wasn’t a Neville. Connor? Not so much. But neither of them could be what Bass was to her. She took a bite of bread, her mother was the best baker in the world. This was a way she could use her scientific expertise to create the perfect loaf. All they were missing was one of Bass’ roast. Maybe later she could go hunt. Last night’s escapade had woken her up. Ever since Nora’s birth, she had been so focused on her beautiful daughter that she had forgotten parts of herself. A little walk to the wild side, and she was missing her hunting trips, her own self.

She glanced at her mother who was peering at a notebook and taking sips of coffee as if it were wine. And for once, a wave of a strange emotion passed through her. Pity. She pitied her mother. Rachel had tried so hard to save her marriage, to save the world but in the end it had all blown up in her face. All this because she was incapable of love. Trying to find answers in science, or in Miles’ never-ending love for her had only drove her deeper into this disaster.

The only thing, person, that could have saved her was Danny. Her brother’s kind eyes and big heart could have been a haven for both women, and perhaps a meeting place for them to mend their differences. Oh Danny. There, in her mother’s frown she could almost see him. Rachel’s gaze flickered to her face :

“Charlie?“ Any ressemblance with Danny had faded away. This was just her cold mother who resented everything about her, who had only treated her like a tool for her own comfort and needs.

“Nothing.“ She sighed and left the kitchen, to go check on Nora. As she climbed the stairs she vowed to herself to never let Nora feel the way she felt with her mother. She sat in the small bedroom until she heard the front door open. It was probably Bass.

He was standing at the foot of the stair, a bright smile chasing away whatever shadows the sight of a bitter Rachel must have cast.

“Let’s go for a walk,“ she whispered as her lips grazed his cheek.

“Another walk?“ His eyes were wide but there was that velvet in his blue eyes that made her want to kiss him.

“No.. I mean, not this kind of walk.“ She took his hand and lead him out of the house. Now that they were out she could smile brightly.

“Next time we need to take a blanket.“

“Agreed. That muck is hard to clean off.“ His right hand was tilting her chin up as he gazed at her, his left arm slung around her waist.

“You look like a hot mess. Do I need to apologize?”

“About? You look like you got attacked by a wolf.” He smiled at her words, his gaze darkening as he took in the reminders of the night before left on her face and neck. It was enough to make her tiptoe and kiss his lips. She could never get over how soft his mouth could be, so inviting. As their tongues found each other, Charlie pulled him closer. Too many clothes. Bass lips trailed to her cheek, her ear.

“You might call me a pig but I like you like this. Kinda reminds me when we were back on the road. All wild and unkempt, the indomptable Charotte Matheson.“ he buried his nose in her hair and she heard him mumble, “ a force of nature.” With the tip of his fingers he traced either side of her cheeks, and kissed her forehead, “You’re beautiful Charlotte. And you don’t even know that…”

She could feel her cheek heating up but in a different way than earlier. His words made her forget about her initial desire to tear his clothes away and have her way with him, although they were barely a few steps away from the house.

It was unusual of him to say things like this out loud. He was more loquacious with his gaze and his hands. But sometimes he said words she never expected he could say. And it made her feel privileged that it was only with her that he let his guard down; that she was the one who could incite such innocence and love in him.

“You’re kinda pretty too… Even when you were wearing your uniform and acting like a jackass.”

His eyes widened and a slow smile spread on his face :

“If I remember correctly, you were more busy trying to protect your family and trying to kill me…”

“Yeah but I did notice. I noticed the way you were looking at me.” Of course she had, so many thoughts had rushed to her mind when she was asking to be picked and trying to face her oncoming death. People think in moments such as these about noble things or even people you loved. Well, for a flash, Charlie had seen herself leaping on Monroe and finding out how he tasted like. That wasn’t all, of course she had thought of her family, dad, Miles… Everyone. But between those normal thoughts a strange fascination had taken root. 

And here they were now. She peered at him, trying to read beneath his smug smile.

“I was too far gone… But you were. You were? Breathtaking. You kinda reminded me of myself.”

She looked at him intently. Sometimes it felt like it was already written somewhere that they were supposed to end up together. How else could it possible that two people who had opposed each other with everything they had, were now standing entwined like two trees whose roots were too tangled to make up which is which.

She was still wrapped in his arms, her gaze travelling over his familiar face. She just had to lean forward to steal another taste. But she looked at the beard, the new lines on his face and tried to remember the clean shaven General with his pristine uniform. Sometimes, it felt like it was a totally different man. And other times, like now, it felt like he was still here beneath familiar face of her husband. And for once, it didn’t scare her. Wrapped up in his scent, against his lean hard body, it was easy to see the General as something other than threatening.

“Pity you don’t have your uniform anymore… We could do a reenactment.” Her light tone surprised her and she could see it mirrored in Bass’ eyes. Was the past finally behind them? So soon after being haunted by the dead who stood between them? She smiled. It was over, the past was gone, so were those she had loved so dearly. What was done was done. And now she beaming at the man she had forgiven and discovered in a new light. 

He was laughing with her. 

“Not so sure it’s a good idea, Charlotte. You might decide to use me as a shooting target.“

“You know what? Next time I find one of those wanted posters I’ll know what to do with them.“ With a roguish smile, he raised an eyebrow :

“Really? Not so sure you’ll use them only for shooting practice…“ She rolled her eyes at his words, and laughed at the face he was making. 

For a little while, as the sun was blazing over them, all thoughts of danger were out of their minds. The trees were hiding them, birds were chirping and they were together. 

Maybe those who wrote that love conquers all were right? At least, it did conquer a lot. 

 

They went back to the house, Nora was impatiently asking for attention. Miles was holding her like a feral beast made of porcelain.. He look relieved when Bass took hold of the infant and cradled her against his chest. She heard Miles mumble :

“Now who’s the puppy holding a kitten?“

“Jackass.“ 

“At this rate I wonder what her first words will be.“ Miles added with a wry smile. Bass had an amused twinkle in his eyes when he replied :

“Right. Maybe we should let your babysit her or her first words will be whisky or asshole, or something like that.“

“Sure, sounds like the kettle is calling the pot black.“ 

“It’s a good thing Nora has me,“ she took her daughter from her husband’s arms. Both men were grinning at her.

“Really? Sure..…“ their voices echoing each other as they laughed. She rolled her eyes and made an indignant face as she left them bantering. It was only an act. There was no words or enough smile to explain how happy it made her to see both men in friendly terms. Maybe there was hope for this world, after all?

 

Later in the evening, both men went out for what they called “checking the perimeter” but Bass could see that Miles was bubbling with things to say. As soon as they were out of hearing range, he turned to his friend :  
“Out with it. You look like you’re going to burst.”

“I asked around. Howie too… There’s a bunch of people who are handing out a petition. They want you out of here.”

“Right… So very democratic.”

“There could be a link with what happened. I’m going to investigate.” He sighed,”I wouldn’t care for your sorry ass but you’ve got Charlie in this mess too. And the baby. And now I have to care. You’re a ticking time bomb wherever you go.” Miles wasn’t meeting his gaze. How usual. One minute they were friends like they had been for most of their lives, and the next, he was the enemy. He stared at Miles, trying to understand what his friend was thinking, how they had gone from bantering to this. Every single fucking time.

“Yeah, I know you don’t give a fuck about me.” He tried to bit back his disappointment. Sometimes Miles made him feel like there was hope, like they could go back to how things were before, that he wasn’t the man everyone but Charlie thought he was. And right after, they were back to the Tower, jumping at each other’s throat. When will it stop? Didn’t his brother know he already hated his own guts for too many things?

“Bass…” Was there a tone of regret? Didn’t matter. He was tired of the morsels of respect Miles gave him when Rachel was too distracted to direct him otherwise.

“No,I’m fine with this. I’ve got my family…“ Fuck it felt good to say this, No Miles you’re not my only hope. I’ve got Charlotte, Nora. A family. The thought made his voice louder as he went on, “You can go into your ‘we’re not family’ act how much you want but…Like it or not, they connect us. You won’t be getting rid of me this time.”

Miles shoved his hands in his pocket, rolling his eyes in a very Charlie Matheson fashion :

“Yeah right. That is until Charlie comes to her senses and realize what kind of idiot you are.” Here. His friend was back.

“She already knows that and you know what? She loves that idiot.” It felt good to say it, to say that someone loved him. There was no doubt in his mind about Charlie’s loyalty. Where everyone was smoke and mirrors, Charlie reflected her truth like a lake reflects the sunlight.

Miles made a face, he hated all that ‘lovey-mushy’ stuff. Other than Rachel, no other woman had ever claimed his heart. Not even brave Nora who had always been too good for him. Sometimes, Bass wondered if Miles was even capable of that kind of commitment. Couldn’t even commit to their friendship. He kicked a tuft of grass. 

“Yeah right… She really has something for lost causes.” Miles said drily. Bass gaze turned upward, he wasn’t in the mood to discuss Charlie’s ability to care for someone like him. All he wanted was to keep is family safe. It was his only priority right now.

“Okay. We’re not going down that road. If you want I can tell you how good our sex l…”

“Shut up.”

“So, what do we do? You smoke them out. Then what? We got no proof they did it. And even so.. I hardly think any jury will side with me. I don’t even legally exist. I guess it’s time to leave,” his voice was lower, “Charlie’s going to hate that.” There was a voice that had been haunting him ever since he had started things with Charlie : sooner or later one of them will leave. Better him than her. The idea of Charlie leaving him whether on her own legs or on stretcher was enough to snuff out any sunshine or moonbeams. It made his stomach drop. Miles was looking at him with a strange look :

“You know? Gene says they are good people. Maybe it’s just a couple of bad apples stirring trouble. I’ll check it out and we’ll go from there. Don’t make any plans yet.” His voices was hurried. After all those years, they still understood each other when words failed.

“What about the zombies? Until Aaron comes back from Mordor, we’re just playing babysitter club.”

“Yep. I can’t.. Rach won’t take it well if we take care of them before we have any proof or something.” Miles looked forlorn as he paced around. His gaze was on his feet, Maybe he did like being kicked in the balls by that cold bitch.

“The psycho’s still calling the shots?”

“Come on Bass. Stop with the name calling. She’s..”

“Whatever. Just saying. She’s acting very weird. Charlie doesn’t want to leave Nora with her, and you’re still waiting for her green light to do stuff.” He let out a breath, he didn’t want to fight with Miles anymore. He knew that no one picked the one they loved. Charlotte had followed him in the dark tunnel that was his life in spite of her misgivings and in spite of the heavy load of the past. But he had sworn to himself never to hurt her like, it seemed unlikely that Rachel had ever considered anyone’s feelings above hers.

“Yeah we’re waiting. And you should too. What if we’re wrong and it’s really them? That they just have a malfunctioning brain or something. Then what? Charlie will never…” Miles tried weakly. Bass stared him down :

“Charlotte’s not Rachel. She’s all for getting rid of them. This is about Rachel. That’s it.” He looked at the house, the light of the bedroom was on, “I’m going in. Let me know what you find out.” He was done discussing Rachel Matheson’s feelings. He left his friend standing in the dark and his thoughts were once more focused on his family, how to keep them safe, how to keep Charlotte as happy as she had been these last days. It humbled him. Did she glow because of him? Did she laugh more because of him? It was too much sometimes. He stopped in front of the door. Don’t fuck it up Monroe, he thought to himself. Shelly had loved him but only the rough young man he had been but Charlie? Charlie knew the devil he could be. She knew everything… And she was still here? How was this even possible. The door of the bedroom opened.

“There you are. I was going to look for something to eat. Mom is eating in her room and Grandpa is still at the Mulders.” She held his gaze a little longer, “Ok? You look…”

“Just thinking. Miles might have a lead for the poison and the other stuff.”

“Oh great. Because I can’t wait to go back home.”

He smiled at her words and followed her to the kitchen. One thing was clear, Charlotte Matheson really did loved this idiot.Things might still be shaky with Miles but more and more they sounded like the men they had been before the Blackout. And in times such as these, it was easier to stuff down the guilt, to ignore the dark emotions trying to eat up the sunshine that was his wife. As they worked in team to turn a tin of beans and some weird looking vegetable into a feast, he was at peace. No one was leaving, no one was dying; he could still breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your support dear readers, and thank you for your patience. I think I started to write this story almost a year ago.. And I had thought I'd be done posting it by the end of 2018 but... I had underestimated how much time it would take me to edit each chapter before posting.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> I sometimes find Miles hard to write. I don't always like him, especially when it comes to his dealings with Bass. But... He is such an essential part of Charlie and Bass' life that I have to try to understand him and write about him. I hope I nailed it.


	23. Words don't break bone

Another bright day and this house, where it seems the walls sigh like her mother. Charlie could feel her chest closing in and her breath getting stuck there. That’s it. She had had enough of staying cooped in the house. She went to retrieve the old stroller she had found in the attic. It wouldn’t do for a ramble in the wilds, but the town square would be a welcome change.

If she wanted to get back to the action, she needed to build up her muscles. Grandpa had told her to take it slow. This time, she was following his orders… Well, except when she was lost in a haze of lust. But Bass had that effect on her. It wasn’t like she could help it. 

Nora didn’t mind the stroller. She was a quiet child that was often intrigued by new things. Sometimes Charlie would wonder out loud if their daughter was older than she looked. Miles would look mildly disgusted and say that all parents, including hers, thought their children were geniuses. Bass would just agree with her because Nora had him wrapped around her tiny thumb.

Outside, she could escape her mother’s pervasive presence. The weather was nice, the street full of people. Things were looking up for Willoughby lately. She took her time walking, stopping at ever shop window to look at the displays and making a wry comment to Nora about things they could not afford; few people could. She saw an old man whom she remembered from the time she used to visit. He nodded at her, but quickly glanced around before speeding up, which was a bit difficult at his age. Oh so this was how things were now? Lovely…

“Sorry about that Nora. You didn’t choose to be a Monroe.” Charlie wasn’t really bothered about it. True, at the Sylvana estate, everyone had loved her family. Ben was very likable, and they had everyone’s sympathy. Maggie was also well liked, her addition to the family had increased their popularity. At that time, Charlie hadn’t really thought about it. She was too busy resenting Maggie for taking her mother’s place. Now she had what she had asked for and it turns out it wasn’t so great. It wasn’t something a daughter should ever say but she’d trade her mother for Maggie or Nora in a beat. Maggie was the mother she had needed and Nora the sister she could never forget. She shook her head to scatter those thoughts. 

The weather was good, Nora was gurgling. Life was good. It had to be.

In the main plaza, people were enjoying the sunshine around the fountain, in an open door café an exiled French had opened up. Charlie decided to stop there. This, at least they could afford. They had a running tab in both this café and the bar.

Sipping ice tea and watching the people go by, Charlie could finally relax. Here, there were no talks about conspirations, nor any cold resentment. Sure, some people stared at her, and a group of women even pointed at her but she was in a bubble of good mood. Some of Aaron’s responsibility had fallen in her lap, such as this extravaganza with the neighboring town but other things had been taken over by the committee. It kept her busy. 

It was a lovely afternoon, until Charlie saw trouble walking towards her. Three men around Miles’ age were staring at her and advancing towards her spot. She took a deep breath in, and remembered the gun under her belt. She was sure it wouldn’t come to that, but she had Nora to protect.

“What d’we have here?”

“Aren’t you Sebastian Monroe’s whore?”

“Your grandmother must be rolling in her grave, young woman.”

They were towering over her. Their eyes mean and dark. She gritted her teeth.

Well, actually, her grandmother would have said “words don’t break bones young lady!”

Her chin lifted, she stared at them :

“Do you need something?” She stood up, standing in front of the pram. 

“What do we need, guys?” He laughed, “ a pretty little thing… Look at her!”

Charlie thought about her gun, and then she thought about Nora. This wasn’t a good idea. She found her knife instead.

“Hey look at that! A big knife!” Another laugh. Fucking piece of shit. She could feel her temper boiling to her temple, if it weren’t for Nora and her lack of practice.

“I am a deputy. Do you really want to mess with me? We saved you from the patriots.”

“After that filth killed everyone with his fucking republic! He might be in Texas but we all had family there.”

“Step back.” She wanted her voice to be firm but she knew what they saw, a helpless woman with a baby. She had seen worst odds but not with a baby to protect. It was Danny all over again, wasn’t it?

There was a crowd gathering to watch the altercation, none of them even bothered to take her side. At least, they wouldn’t kill a baby in front of a crowd. Nobody did that, did they? There was a commotion in the crowd and she saw Howie hurrying to her. She was glad to see a friendly face, and even more relieved to see him instead of Bass or Miles. Neither would have kept their temper in check. The men must have recognized Howie because they dispersed into the crowd. Charlie shot a frustrated look at Howie. Of course a guy would scare off this kind of guys but if they only knew what she was capable of…

“All good, Charlie?”

“Yeah, yeah. They were just being rude.” She watched people going back to their drinks and occupations and she wanted to find her bow and hunt them down. They had just wanted to see an exciting event, uncaring about a baby. As the heat from her face was dissipating, she could feel her eyes filling up. This wasn’t the time, nor the place. She took a deep breath in.

“I’m fine. I was handling it. Are you going somewhere?” Howie shrugged.

“Sit. Sit with me. Order whatever you want, it’s on me.”

She ordered another iced tea, and asked him about his childhood. Anything would do, she just didn’t want to think about what had happened or could have happened. He talked and she listened with her whole attention.

He was born in Texas, and intended to spend the rest of his life here. Wasn’t so concerned about not having power, life was still good as far as he was concerned. His sweetheart was back home, a girl training to be a doctor called Elena. He was halfway through telling her about the first time he met her when she noticed a familiar figure making his way towards her. Bass. Having Howie with her had already settled her nerves, but seeing him made her whole body relax. She had loosened her grip from the knife she had been keeping on her lap.

“So this is where you disappeared to?” He beckoned at Howie. His eyes were narrowed and he was scowling. He had after kept an army on their toes and kept a whole country running. So it was no surprise he hated people not following his orders. He just needed a second to become that terrifying leader again. At least in appearance, hoped Charlie.

“Well.. I…”

“I stopped him from wherever he was going to. Needed some company.” Howie looked at her with a confused expression. She had forgotten to tell him not to tell either men about the altercation. The last thing they needed was trouble. She knew the type, they’d never try anything. They wanted to make Bass feel unsafe and angry and she’d be damned if she let them.

“Umm yeah. Charlie offered me a drink.” Bass’ gaze travelled from Howie to Charlie. She could feel his suspicion when she looked away. He pulled a chair and sat down between them. 

“Finished your drink?” He turned to Howie who nodded, “good. Now go back to the station. Miles need those screws.” Howie gave Charlie an apologetic look before he scampered away.

“You didn’t need to be so mean.” 

“I didn’t” He was leaning over her, his gaze never leaving hers. She didn’t want him to know, he didn’t need this. They had already so much in their hands. She stared right back at him. 

“You’re being a dick, Bass.”

“Sure,” he answered through his teeth, “and you’re keeping something from me.”

She rolled her eyes, “what is this? You’ve been here five minutes and you’re…”

“Charlotte. I know you.” She slammed her glass on the table, earning a look from the man sitting on the table nearest to them.

“What is this? You know me? You’re accusing me of something?” Why did he have such a good radar for trouble? Why did he know her so well. She wanted to escape those blazing blue eyes but at the same time, she wanted to cling to him. He was her haven, her home.

He looked away, letting out a long breath and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I’m not… Charlie. I’m not. I know you wouldn’t. I’m just.. There’s something wrong and you’re not telling me what.” 

She shot him a wry look :

“You know.. Accusing me of having a thing with Howie? You can do better. I mean.. Do you really think after you I’d go for a puny little thing like him?” her smile matched his and he looked like himself again.

“So?”

“You never stop, do you?”

“Nope. You looked worried when you saw me. I don’t… You looked worried. We’re ok right?”

Once more, he amazed her by his concern. He didn’t want to lose her. She didn’t want to lose him. Ever since the beginning of their acquaintance, both had been open about everything. Maybe it was time she truly trusted him. She took a deep breath in :

“Okay, so you have to promise you won’t freak out.”

“Not the best way to start this.. Can’t make any promises.”

“Something happened earlier. Before Howie showed up.” 

Her gaze dropped, she didn’t want him to see how flustered the whole thing had made her, “some guys were annoying me. They got scared when Howie showed up, and left. They were just being rowdy, y’know.” She looked up again and his eyes had grown dark.

“Charlotte. What happened exactly?” His voice was very low and he was enunciating each word slowly. She told him about the men picking on her, she meant to keep out the name calling but the worlds slipped out of her mouth as her temper rose again.

“They what? Who was it?”

“I don’t remember Bass. Just a bunch of guys.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. 

“It’s okay. Howie scared them off...”

“And nobody interfered? What kind of place is this…” 

“I would have dealt it more easily if…” Her gaze went to Nora who was awake and would be soon ready for her feed. How life must be easy for her. 

“And here I was thinking… Fuck. I’ll ask Howie. Fucking place.” His eyes went on her again, roaming up and down, “Did they touch you?”

“No, no, I had my knife. I thought the gun.. I was scared for Nora but I was fine. I would have… I didn’t think being a mother would make things so much more complicated.”

She offered him a weak smile that he didn’t return. He wasn’t looking at her anymore, his gaze was shifting around them. He wouldn’t have stopped until she had told him the truth but she wished she had had more time to find a way to diffuse it.

“Bass,” his gaze was still turned away and his jaw clenched,”Bass, you’re going to that place again. We need to stay focused,” he turned to her his eyes full of pain,”Miles is investigating for the other stuff. We need to stay focus. Stupid guys picking on me are nothing. Words don’t break bones.”

“I hate that,” his voice was still low but it was soft now,”I hate you having to deal with people trying to get to me. They don’t know…”

“They don’t know that if anyone is allowed to be angry at you, it’s me. And I’m not. I really am not. It’s not your fault if people are… I don’t know? Looking for a scapegoat. They’ve forgotten who saved them from the patriots.” She took hold of his hand, “I haven’t.”

His face softened and he closed his eyes. She felt before she saw someone creeping closer to them, she looked up, ready to jump but it was Miles.

“Howie told me. Stupid to try to hide it.” He sat down on the chair vacated by Howie, “poor guy was ready to piss in his pant. Thought you thought you guys were having an affair. That’d be the best.” He was snickering. A waitress stopped by their table to take their orders. They didn’t have anything stronger than coffee, which both men ordered. 

“He gave me names… It’ll help with the investigation. You’re ok kid?” There was a flash of concern in his eyes. How lucky she was to have two of the most deadliest men in the world next to her.

“Yeah I’m fine. Really, it was nothing. People are just stupid.”

“I deserve it. It’s nothing a bullet can’t solve,” Bass muttered,”But not Charlie. And Nora’s just a baby.” His gaze was on Miles as he went on, “and I know you’re going to bring up stuff I did before.. I was worse than them. There are more efficient ways than taunting a woman.”

The waitress brought their coffees and all three were silent. Miles finished his tiny french coffee in a single gulp :

“I’ve got to go back. Just wanted to make sure you were alright. I’ll give a warning to those guys, but you,” he pointed at Bass, “stay out of this. I know how you get with these things. Just take them home.” And without any more words of wisdom, Miles was gone. Charlie couldn’t help but laugh :

“You really scared Howie.”

“Yeah well… We sent him to get something and I find him having a drink with my wife. You can’t blame me for this.”

“I’m not.. It’s hilarious.” He was smiling too. Nora was fretting and Charlie preferred being home to feed her so that it would be easier to put her in her cot after. They walked in silence, the stores no longer held any attraction, nor the people they walked past.

At home, Gene was leaving to get to a patient and Rachel was as usual, silently doing something in her lab.  
As soon as Nora was fed and settled for the night, Charlie and Bass went to find something in the kitchen. Bass was lighting up the wood stove when Charlie placed a hand on his back and whispered in his ear :

“Oh and, you playing the jealous husband? Very hot…”   
He turned around and considered her with an amused look, “but don’t do it again.” 

“Hot enough to skip straight to dessert?” She could feel his breath on her face, it was far too tempting, her lips had barely touched his when someone clear their throat. Charlie spun around to face her grandfather carrying a big basket of vegetables.

“Didn’t meant to.. Ah.. the Riggins gave some turnips in exchange of my services.”

“Oh.. Nice!” Charlie turned her back to her grandfather, rummaging in the cutlery drawer. Bass went back to lighting up the stove. There was a tense silence hovering over them. Charlie’s eyes kept on finding Bass. Oh she was more than ready for dessert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm slow at updating this story but don't worry you will have an ending.
> 
> I've recently fallen into a totally different type of fandom. It might have affected my style of writing, making it lighter and fluffier. I will always love Charlie & Bass together but I'm slowly moving away from them. But don't worry... There will be an end to this story. Whether I post my draft or the edited version.
> 
> (In case you're wondering, this new fandom is the turkish tv show called Erkenci Kuş and the adorable Can and Sanem. Do watch it, it's so sweet and lovely.)
> 
> Thank you for your support. It means so much to me.


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